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Index
COVER PAGE
TITLE PAGE
COPYRIGHT PAGE
CONTENTS
FOREWORD
1. PRESENT LAUGHTER
SOUTHGATE–SAN FRANCISCO–FLEET STREET: 1960–1969
INTRODUCTION
2. NO, BUT I SAW THE MOVIE
3. THROUGH A GLASS, DARKLY
4. IT TOLLS FOR THEE
5. . . . THAT FELL ON THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT
6. UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF LITERATURE
7. THIS THING WITH THE LIONS
8. BOHEMIA
9. THE POWER AND THE GLORY
10. MAO, HE’S MAKING EYES AT ME!
11. DEATH DUTIES
‘THE FUNNIEST WRITER IN BRITAIN TODAY’: 1970–1979
INTRODUCTION
12. BOOM, WHAT MAKES MY HOUSE GO BOOM?
13. SUFFER LITTLE CHILDREN
14. EAR, BELIEVED GENUINE VAN GOGH, HARDLY USED, WHAT OFFERS?
15. FATHER’S LIB
16. LET US NOW PHONE FAMOUS MEN
17. THE RIME OF THE ANCIENT FILM-MAKER
18. GOOD GOD, THAT’S NEVER THE TIME, IS IT?
19. GOING CHEEP
20. GO EASY, MR BEETHOVEN, THAT WAS YOUR FIFTH!
21. TAKE THE WALLPAPER IN THE LEFT HAND AND THE HAMMER IN THE RIGHT . . .
22. OWING TO CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND OUR CONTROL 1984 HAS BEEN UNAVOIDABLY DETAINED . . .
23. FOREWORD TO GOLFING FOR CATS: AN APOLOGY TO THE BOOKSELLER
24. BABY TALK, KEEP TALKING BABY TALK
25. THE HELL AT POOH CORNER
26. AND THOUGH THEY DO THEIR BEST TO BRING ME AGGRAVATION . . .
27. LIFE MIT VATER
28. DR NO WILL SEE YOU NOW
29. BOTTLE PARTY
30. THE UNACKNOWLEDGED LEGISLATORS OF THE WORLD
31. THE HOUNDS OF SPRING ARE ON WINTER’S TRACES, SO THAT’S THIRTY-EIGHT-POUNDS-FORTY, PLUS MAKING GOOD, SAY, FIFTY QUID
APPENDIX: THE BULLETINS OF IDI AMIN
32. ALL O’ DE PEOPLE, ALL DE TIME
33. A WORD F’OM DE SPONSOR
34. DE WHITEHALL SNUB
35. A STAR GITTIN’ BORN
THE GOLDEN AGE: 1980–1989
INTRODUCTION
36. TAX BRITANNICA
37. BLUE FLICS
38. SMILING THROUGH
39. THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO ST DURHAM
40. O LITTLE TOWN OF CRICKLEWOOD
41. JUST A GASP AT TWILIGHT
42. FOR FEAR OF FINDING SOMETHING WORSE
43. MR NOON BY D.H. LAWRENCE
44. NO BLOODY FEAR
45. GETTING THE HUMP
46. TRUE SNAILS READ (ANAG., 8, 6)
47. ONE IS ONE AND ALL ALONE
48. £10.66 AND ALL THAT
49. RED SALES IN THE SUNSET
50. CAVE CANEM
THE CRICKLEWOOD YEARS: 1990–1999
INTRODUCTION
51. HERE WE GO ROUND THE PRICKLY PEAR
52. UNEASY LIES THE HEAD
53. SALT IN THE WOUND
54. GOOD GOD, THAT’S NEVER THE TIME? (2)
55. JAPANESE SANDMEN
56. CARD INDEX
57. BRIGHTLY SHONE THE RAIN THAT NIGHT
58. TUNING UP
59. THE QUEEN, MY LORD, IS QUITE HERSELF, I FEAR
60. THE GREEN HILLS OF CRICKLEWOOD
61. MAKING OLD BONES
62. OSRIC THE HEDGEHOG
63. DOOM’D FOR A CERTAIN TERM TO WALK THE NIGHT
64. GARDEN PESTS
65. TIME FOR A QUICK ONE?
66. THE LEAVING OF CRICKLEWOOD
67. LO, YONDER WAVES THE FRUITFUL PALM!
68. FABRIC CONDITIONING
69. NUMBERS RACKET
70. EIGHT LEGS WORSE
71. DO DILLY-DALLY ON THE WAY
72. ON A WING AND A PRAYER
73. AND DID THOSE FEET?
74. NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH
THE LAST DECADE: 2000–2007
INTRODUCTION
75. RADIO FUN
76. NOT MY BAG
77. QUEENING IT
78. DOMESTIC DRAMA
79. ROAD RAGE
80. SOUTHERN DISCOMFORT
81. POLES APART
82. ALL QUIET ON THE CHARITY FRONT
83. AH, YES, I REMEMBER IT WELL!
84. I BLAME THE DEALERS
85. THE LONG GOODBYE
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