Effective Parenting for the Hard-To-Manage Child by DeGangi, Georgia A. -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Contents Acknowledgments How to Use This Book

Who Should Read This Book? Do Parents Need Help? Who Are the Hard-to-Manage Children? Why Do I Need a Tool Box with 25 Tools to Manage my Child?

Tools for Teaching Children to Calm Themselves Down Tools for Building Self-Esteem Tools for Managing Out-of-Control Behavior Tools for Providing Structure Tools for Improving Interpersonal Skills

1 The Intense, Irritable Child

Reasons Children Are Irritable What Makes Your Child Irritable? What Happens to the Parent-Child Relationship When the Child Is Irritable? How Does a Child Become Calm and Well-Regulated? When Is My Child’s Irritability More Than Just a Bad Mood? Basic Guidelines to Teach Your Child How to Become a Good Self-Regulator

Help Your Child Adjust to Demanding Situations Help Your Child Read and Give Good Social Cues Help Your Child to Predict His Own Behavior and That of Others Read Your Child’s Cues: Understand What the Irritability Means

Treatment Ideas to Help Your Child

Rule Out Medical Problems Address Sensory Hypersensitivities That May Contribute to Irritability Avoid Overstimulating Your Child Soothe Yourself and Your Child Create Opportunities for Your Child to Learn How to Self-Calm Help Your Child to Learn How to Make Transitions Provide Clear Limits Help the Child Become More Self-Reliant Develop Tolerance for Frustration and a Sense of Mastery Overcoming Feelings of Isolation and Getting Respite for Yourself Explore What You Think Your Child’s Behavior Means Provide Forums for Your Child to Express What the Distress Means

Summary of Strategies Summary

2 Coping with Different Kinds of Anxiety

Separation Anxiety

Foundations of Normal Development Temperament The Role of Parents in Separation Albert: An Intense and Reactive Child

Anxiety Expressed by Refusal to Talk

Louise: Who Had to Cope With Severe Kidney Disease

School Anxiety

April: A Child Who Could Not Count Dice and Hated School

Anxiety Caused by Personal Trauma

Eric: Trauma From Living in the War Zone of His Parents’ Hostility Parents’ Response to Trauma Actions Parents Can Take to Minimize Trauma

Anxious From the Beginning: Children Wired to Be Anxious

Indira: Intense Anxiety in Response to Every Demand in Her Life Summary of Parental Strategies for an Extremely Anxious Child

Summary

3 Mealtime Battles, Picky Eaters, and Kids Who Just Won’t Eat

Why Is Good Eating Important?

Skills for Healthy Eating

What Can Go Wrong With Eating? Refusal to Eat Overeating Types of Eating Problems

Amy: A Child with No Appetite Drive Colin: A Child Who Ate to Settle His Irritability Samantha: A Child Who Ate to Nurture Herself Stephen: A Child with Severe Sensitivities to Touch

Impact of the Child’s Feeding Problems on Parents A Mother’s Story: How Her Eating Problem Impacted Her Child Relationship Problems and Impact on Feeding

Problems of Attachment Children Growing Up in Orphanages: Emotional and Sensory Deprivation

Fostering Independence and Self-Control Getting an Evaluation Suggested Assessment Process for Eating Problems Strategies to Help Your Child Eat

Medical Management Tactile Problems of the Mouth, Face, and Hands Get the Face, Mouth, and Hands Ready for Food: Tactile Wake-Up Kayla: A Child with Food Aversions Improving Utensil Use Strategies to Improve Utensil Use Matthew: A Child with Motor and Sensory Problems Who Resisted Eating Improving Appetite Drive Joseph: An Irritable Child Who Rarely Ate Helping the Picky Eater Strategies to Help the Picky Eater Mimi: A Child with Aversions to Food Textures The Problem of Overeating Addressing Problems of Overeating Addressing Anxieties Accompanying Reflux Sophie: A Child with Anxiety About Swallowing Certain Foods Helping Your Child to Come and Sit for Meals Strategies to Help Your Child Come and Sit for a Meal

Guidelines to Improve Eating Behaviors Summary

4 Up All Night, Crying, and Fretful

Skills for Good Sleep Habits Developmental Tasks that Support Sleep in Toddlers and Older Children Sleep Problems in Children: Birth through School Age

Infants Toddlers Other Factors that Influence Sleep

Impact of Sleep Problems on Development Developing Good Sleep-Wake Cycles

Self-Soothing and Why it Is Important for Sleep Making the Bedroom Environment Conducive to Sleep

Types of Sleep Problems in Children

The Hypersensitive Child The Child Who Craves Movement Stimulation Problems with Attachment and Separation Helping Your Child Be Alone Helping Your Child Cope with Sleep Anxiety

Summary

5 The Dark Secret

What Is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?

Are All Rituals Signs of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?

What Causes Obsessive Compulsive Disorder? How Can This Disorder Be Treated?

Getting Information Explaining to Your Child What Is Happening to Him Getting Ready to Lead Your Child Out of an Unreasonable World toward the Normal World Getting Rid of These Thoughts: Exposure to the Feared Object or Situation and Inhibiting the Urge to Respond Grier’s Hierarchy of Fears Getting Rid of These Thoughts: Positive Self-Talk Medications Collaborating with Teachers This Is a Family Problem Religion Structure Common Pitfalls: Things to Avoid

Summary

6 He Won’t Listen and Can’t Finish a Thing!

The Mixed Bag That Makes Up “Attention Deficit Disorders” Treatment Approaches for ADHD How Children Learn to Pay Attention Learning to Focus and Orient to What Is Important Learning to Process Information Effectively

Learning to Sustain Mental Effort Learning to Curb Impulses Learning to Get Organized Learning to Put More Effort into Tasks Learning to Screen Out Distractions Helping Your Child Be Better Motivated and Have Better Self-Control

Summary

7 The Oppositional Child

Why Do Children Become Oppositional?

Biology Characteristics of an Oppositional Child How Does the Environment Contribute to a Child Becoming Oppositional?

Techniques that Parents Can Use to Deal with an Oppositional Child

Point Out What Your Child Is Doing Right Show Your Child That You See Him Teach Your Child to Calm Himself Teaching Your Child to Solve Problems Steps to Problem Solving Encouraging Your Child to Be Cooperative and Responsible Teaching Responsibility: Tasks for Children Eighteen Months to Three Years Old Tasks for Four to Six Year Olds Tasks for Seven to Twelve Year Olds Changing Your Child’s Behavior by Behavior Modification Techniques Making a Repair Stopping Oppositional Behavior with a Time Out Stopping Oppositional Behavior with Consequences Provide a Predictable Structure Teach How to Ask Rather Than Demand

Summary

8 Children with Sensory Overload

Common Sensory Integration Problems

Sammy’s Response to Sensory Stimulation Sammy’s Response to Frustrating Experiences Sammy’s High Need for Her Mother’s Reassuring Presence

Identifying Sensory Processing Problems

Common Problems of the Touch System Symptoms of Tactile Defensiveness The Movement Sense Symptoms of Hyper- and Hyposensitivities to Movement Motor Planning Problems

Summary Resources

9 The Curious, Clueless, and Disorganized Child

Providing Structure at Home around Time and Space

Waking Up Structuring the Beginning of the Day Time Management after School Time Management at the End of the Day Getting Compliance with Scheduling Learning to Manage Belongings and Space Helping Your Child with Homework The Binder or Notebook System Homework and Time Management Helping Your Child Learn to Study Helping Your Disorganized Child Cope with Social Issues

Summary

10 Depression

What Causes Depression? Three Portraits of Depressed Children

The Depressed Child Who Withdraws What to Do with a Depressed and Withdrawn Child The Depressed Child Who Is Angry and Irritable Factors Showing Vulnerability to Bipolar Depression

Summary

11 The Perils of Parenting a Hard-to-Manage Child

How to Work with Your Child to Make Things Change

How to Do Child-Centered Time Does Child-Centered Time Actually Work? How to Do Child-Centered Time: A Summary Being a “Good Enough” Parent

Summary

12 The Toolbox

Tools for Teaching Children to Calm Down

Tool 1. Self-Soothing

Activities Involving the Sense of Touch Activities Using Sound Activities Using Vision Activities Using the Sense of Smell Activities Using Taste and Texture Activities Involving Movement Activities Using the Hands Activities Involving Deep Breathing Activities that Use Creativity and Imagination

Tool 2. Activities for Problems of Touch

I. Activities for the Tactually Sensitive Child II. Activities for Children Who Are Undersensitive to Touch

Tool 3. Guidelines for Helping Children Move with Ease and Comfort Tool 4. Teaching Your Child to be More Coordinated Tool 5. Learning to Pay Attention Tool 6. Distraction

Distraction for Babies with the Parent as Teacher

Tool 7. Positive Self-Talk Tool 8. Mindfulness: Stilling the Mind Tool 9. Systematic Relaxation: Stilling the Body

Tools for Building Self-Esteem

Tool 10. Validation

How to Validate

Tool 11. Child-Centered Time Tool 12. Having Fun

Tools for Managing Out-of-Control Behavior

Tool 13. Changing Behavior: Positive Reinforcement, Ignoring, Modeling, and shaping Behavior Tool 14. Teaching Consequences and Repair Tool 15. Observing Limits

Steps to Follow in Observing Limits

Tool 16. Time Out

Now, Steps One, Two, Three, and Four

Tool 17. A Token Economy: Rewarding Positive Behavior

An Example of a Token Economy

Tools for Providing Structure

Tool 18. Food Rules Tool 19. Being Content Alone Tool 20. Strategies for Managing Your Child at Night

Getting Ready for Sleep How to Make this Program Work

Tool 21. Helping Your Child Feel Less Fearful At Nighttime Tool 22. Providing Structure to the Day

Tools for Improving Interpersonal Skills

Tool 23. The Ice-Cream Sandwich Tool 24. Having GREAT FUN Communicating

How You Do a Great

Tool 25. Teaching Responsibility and Cooperation

Glossary Bibliography

Anxiety and Depression Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Asperger Syndrome and Autistic Spectrum Disorders Attachment Disorders Attention Deficit Disorder and Learning Disabilities Attention Deficit Disorder Learning Theory Behavioral Management Development in Children Eating Disorders Irritability and Mood Problems Medication Management Meditation Sensory Integration Disorder Sleep Problems

Appendix Index

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