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Index
Contents About the Book About the Author Also by Dave Gorman Title Page Dedication Author’s Note Epigraph 1 Too Much Information 2 What’s Not to Like About MyLikes? 3 If Everyone Checks the Internet for Everything Then What Happens When the Internet Gets It Wrong? 4 Whatever You Do, Don’t Look the Daily Express in the Eye 5 If It Isn’t One of Your Greatest Hits Don’t Put It on a Greatest Hits Album 6 ‘Music From & Inspired by the Motion Picture’ Can Sod Off Too 7 Some Things Can Be Put to a Public Vote … and Some Things Really Can’t 8 I Know They Make Make-Up But I Wonder How They Make Up the Things They Say Their Make-Up Can Do? 9 ‘Hey, BuzzFeed Seems to Work … Let’s Try and Be More Like BuzzFeed!’ 10 If Spammers Were Better at Spamming They Wouldn’t Send Anywhere Near as Much Spam 11 Algorithm & Blues 12 Buying a Record Is Not a Form Of Protest 13 Why Do the Tweets You See in Smartphone Adverts Look Nothing Like the Tweets You See in Real Life? 14 Everyone Knows What an Apple Looks Like. Don’t They? 15 Rick Stivens Sends His Second Tweet 16 If I Was a Shopkeeper and Someone Asked Me for a Badger Glove Puppet I Wouldn’t Come Back Offering Them a Book 17 They’re So Concerned with Value My Supermarket’s Even Trying to Save on Vowels 18 If Ringo’s ‘Ringo’ Because He Called Himself Ringo, Why on Earth Would He Tell Us Not to Call Him Ringo? 19 What’s the Point of a Link If It Isn’t Actually Linked? 20 We Know Who You Are and We Know What You’ve Done. But Tell Us, Who Have You Seen at a Distance? 21 I Think Telling a News Story Takes More Than One Sentence. I Really Do 22 Does Jesus Have an IMDb Page? 23 If the Third and Fourth Words of Your Advert Are Lies, What Are We Supposed to Think of the Rest of It? 24 There’s No Need to Invent a New Word for Something Just Because It Happened on Twitter 25 Twitter Isn’t the Twolution for Twall of Life’s Twoblems 26 Why Doesn’t the Sun Trust Its Own Puns? 27 Can Television Please Stop Asking People, ‘What Are You Going to Spend It on?’ 28 Nobody Can Explain How They Know What a Trumpet Is. They Just Know 29 You Think They’d Ask Someone Who Recognises Movie Stars to Design the Posters for the Movies That Movie Stars Star in 30 It’s Almost as If They Don’t Know What the Word ‘Matching’ Means. Almost 31 What Is the ‘Next Customer Please’ Sign Really a Sign of, Other Than Our Desire to Never Speak to One Another? 32 I Thought the Point of Advertising Was to Try and Persuade People to Buy Your Product 33 Kids Will Be Kids Will Be Spammers 34 Why Do the Phones In HTC’s Adverts All Show the Same Time? 35 If You’re Going to Pretend You’re a Proper Magazine at Least Make an Effort 36 Start Your Ad Wrong 37 Just Because You Can Con a Computer It Doesn’t Mean That You Should 38 When Nobody Bats an Eye at an Advert for an Advert, Something Somewhere Must Be Wrong 39 If We’re Supposed to Believe in Pretend People, We Have to Let Pretend People Live in the Real World 40 TMI Epilogue Acknowledgements Sneak Preview Copyright
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