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Index
EPILOGUE THE AFTER-EPILOGUE Title Page Copyright Page PRAISE FOR MELANIE SUMMERS ALSO AVAILABLE DEDICATION AUTHOR’S NOTE ONE | Vomitgate TWO | 50 Ways to Hide a Rehab Stint THREE | Meat-smokers, Invisible Princesses, and Dish Towel Therapy FOUR | My Obstetrician’s Better than Your Obstetrician FIVE | Thin, Smug Pregnant Doctors SIX | Fetuses with Low More Compasses SEVEN | How Many Nannies Does it Take to Screw Up a Marriage? EIGHT | Slutty Nurses, Husbands on Their Best Behaviour, and Tricky Babies NINE | Pretty, Young Nannies and Krispy Kreme Contraband TEN | Bad Dreams and Dad Bods ELEVEN | Stylish Men’s Swim Trunks & High Stakes Parenting TWELVE | Guess Who’s Coming to Live with Us? THIRTEEN | I’m Just Tessa From the Block FOURTEEN | Absentee Kings, Helpful Father-In-Laws, and Big-Mouthed Wives FIFTEEN | The Importance of Knowing Your Audience SIXTEEN | Blaming the Bodyguard SEVENTEEN | Ultrasound Equipment Made by Wellbits EIGHTEEN | Sunday Morning’s All Right for Fighting, Too... NINETEEN | The Cowntess of Camembert TWENTY | Some Havarti With That Whine? TWENTY-ONE | Black Wool Socks Paired with Paper Gowns TWENTY-TWO | Ill-advised Topics of Conversation TWENTY-THREE | Unexpected Gifts of Being Utterly Normal TWENTY-FOUR | Emasculating Novelty Wear, and Secret Fish Funerals TWENTY-FIVE | Custom-Made Maternity Shoes & Good Enough Mums TWENTY-SIX | Scent Detectives, Meat Cows, and Anti-climatic Climaxes TWENTY-SEVEN | Curry Take Out and Catty Conversation TWENTY-EIGHT | Birthing Plans Brought to you by Netflix TWENTY-NINE | Third Trimester Princess Tessa THIRTY | Mr. Whiskers, Destroyer of the Present, Past, and Future THIRTY-ONE | Don’t Know What You’ve Got ‘Til It’s Gone THIRTY-TWO | Old Relics and Off-key Whistling THIRTY-THREE | Sweaty Gym Shorts and Unexpected Heroes THIRTY-FOUR | Extremely Logical Priorities, Ice Storms, and Birthing Hips THIRTY-FIVE | Adoption—The Much Less Terrifying Option THIRTY-SIX | The Evil Twin THIRTY-SEVEN | I Never Said Anything About No Mannies A NOTE FROM MELANIE
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