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Index
Cover Dedication Chapter 1 : Everything is Awful, and Other Embarrassments Chapter 2 : On Being an Adult, or I Have no Idea What I’m Doing Chapter 3 : On The Trauma of Having (or not Having) Hair Chapter 4 : On Being “The Big Guy” Chapter 5 : Rules For a Totally Healthy and Not-at-All-Medically-Concerning Lifestyle Chapter 6 : On My Old and Fragile Body, or I Feel bad About my Everything Chapter 7 : On Near-Death Experiences, or That Time I Choked on a Taquito Chapter 8 : A Brief List of Things That I Don’t Know Chapter 9 : On Michigan Chapter 10 : On The Terrors of Nature Chapter 11 : On Teenagers and Why They’re The Worst Chapter 12 : On My First 100 Days as President of The United States Chapter 13 : On Terrible First Jobs Chapter 14 : On My Troubled History with Fashion Chapter 15 : On Being in The Closet, or Why you Should Never Fall in Love with Your Straight Best Friend Chapter 16 : On Relationships, or Traits for My Ideal Man Chapter 17 : On The Sticky Perils of Having a Roommate Chapter 18 : On Living Alone in New York City Chapter 19 : On Self-Sufficiency Chapter 20 : On Keeping a Clean and Tidy Apartment Chapter 21 : On Not Being the People’s Choice Acknowledgments About the Author Copyright
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