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Index
Cover
Title Page
Contents
About the Author
By the Same Author
Erratum
It Never Rains
The Once-Empty Page
Skywriting
In Good Spirits
Ex Patria
Mensa
Oxbridge Blues
Half-term
Away from You
Good Old William
Writer’s Block
Executioner’s Block
Children’s Writer
For Want of a Better Title
The State of Poetry
New Poem
Sound Advice
Riddle
Literary Riddle
Acrostic
Granny’s Favourite Anagram
Clerihews
Apostrophe
A Critic Reviews the Curate’s Egg
@thomasdylan LOL
Epitaphs
The After-Dinner Speaker
The Perfect Crime
Drop Dead Gorgeous
Whoops!
Deadpan Delivery
Sign Language
The Juggler
Fame
Vanity Press
Q
You Asked For a Poem
Rhyming Sausages
The Rhyming Diner
Shearing on the Côte d’Azur
Jellyfish Morton
A Good Age
Rubber Bullets
VAT
Windows of the Soul
There are fascists
Conservative Government Unemployment Figures
The Leader
A Brush with Authority
Uncle Eno
Uncle Malcolm
Uncle Pat
Uncle Jed
Cousin Nell
Cousin Daisy
Hill of Beans
Granny
Quick on the Draw
Slow on the Drawl
Gun Love
Moist
Poem on the Underground
Concourse
Ode to the Leaf
Autosuggestion
Recycling
Survivor
Multi-Storey Car Park
Multi-Storey Carp Ark
Five Ways to Help You Pass Safely through a Dark Wood Late at Night
Dear Scott
Drinking Song
Passive Drinking
Missed
The Bright Side
Hard Times
Depressed?
7 a.m.
Another Mid-Life Crisis
My Philosophy in a Nutshell
Worry
Wartime Blues
Fired with Enthusiasm
Early-Morning Poems
The State of the Bathroom
The lost Lost Property Office
The Wicked Queen’s Mirror
The Cracked Mirror
Rear-View Mirror
The Dental Mirror
What Man Wears
Bath – Avon
Hen Party
Rooms for Thought
Life is but a Tree
When the Bough Breaks
In Good Hands
Ring
Love Cycle
Cake
Friends of the Earth
Palmistry
Cane Toads
Rainforest Gateau
Fatal Consequences
Global Warming
Wiwis
Ostrich
Seagulls
A 13-Amp Slug
The Deserted Village
Taking Stick
Light Sleeper
Neighbourhood Watch
Fire Guard
Poem against Capital Punishment
The Concise Guide for Travellers
The Dada Christmas Catalogue
Punk Doll
Lonely Hearts
Weight-Watching
Scintillate
italic
Friends, Flies and Fingernails
Dressed for the Occasion
Time Flies
Said and Done
The Proverbials
Follow Penguin
Copyright Page
Footnotes
Wiwis
Page 68
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