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Index
Cover
Title
Copyright
CONTENTS
Chapter I—PORTRAITS
Portrait of my rapist
The portrait
All right then, the portrait
The tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps
A bedroom at dusk
He has his good qualities too
Portrait of a nymphet
Bizarre
Sexual freedom
Fascination
Portrait of Sammy
My life as a succession of news items in the local paper
My life as a horror film
My life as an American melodrama
A happy ending
Tell the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth
Reasons for not wanting to write this book
The one who bears the trace
A true story of monstrous deception
What will you do then, O stolen heart?
Exploring the gulf
Gray area
Model prisoner
Chapter II—GHOSTS
Thirty years later, some observations on trauma
Because I was raped
The way of the tiger
Coping
Juxtapositions
How I talked about it to my daughter
Shame
Leave or stay
Making a fresh start
Some aesthetic considerations
What to do with what was done to us
The normal world and the other place
The country of shadows
WORKS CITED
CREDITS AND PERMISSIONS
ABOUT THR AUTHOR
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