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Index
Cover
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Contents
Foreword by Adam Carolla
Prologue
1. Breaking Bald; or, A Not-So-Mini Biography
2. Making ADHD Pay; or, How I Turned a Disorder into a Career
3. Falling in Love; or, “Will You Stop Talking Please? I’m Trying to Kiss You”
4. Signs of Trouble; or, “Christie, I’m Sick”
5. Diagnosis; or, “Whatever You Do, Don’t Google Low-Grade Glioma”
6. The Worst Phone Call of My Life; or, “Mom and Dad? I Have Some Bad News”
7. Telling Adam; or, “So, I Won’t Be Able to Come to Work on Monday…”
8. Always Bet on Black; or, Everything I Know, I Learned from Watching Wesley Snipes Movies
9. Dr. Black; or, The “Rock” Star Brain Surgeon
10. Dr. McHottie and Dr. Redneck; or, The Rest of the Dream Team
11. The Worst People I’ve Ever Met; or, My Mount Rushmore of Douche Bags
12. Best-Case Scenarios; or, My Trip to the Sperm Bank
13. Chemo, Day One; or, A Journey of a Thousand Miles …
14. Radiation; or, “I Wonder What She Has?”
15. My Feel-Good Playlist; or, “You’ve Got to Pay Your Dues If You Want to Sing the Blues”
16. Constipation; or, When the Shit Doesn’t Hit the Fan
17. Sobering News; or, Announcing on the Podcast
18. Barbara’s House of Healing; or, Alternative Therapies
19. “Rock” Bottom; or, The Day We Lost Our Engagement Ring
20. My Bachelor Party; or, I Can’t Be the First Guy to Take Chemo in a Strip Club … Can I?
21. Lies Doctors Tell You; or, “You’re Going to Feel Like a Million Bucks!”
22. Our Wedding; or, Michael Jackson, Simply Red, and Glow Sticks
23. Our Honeymoon; or, The Time My Wife Drugged Me at a Kids Pool in Maui
24. Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying; or, Italy
25. My Brother’s Wedding; or, “Stuck in Lodi Again”
26. Drew Brees, My Secret Admirer, and Poop; or, My Greatest Regrets
27. Physical Therapy; or, Koosh Balls, Crutches, and Brightly Colored Shirts
28. “Sleepless Nights” and “Pain”; or, Christie’s Story
29. Avastin; or, The Big Gun
30. Inpatient Therapy; or, The Closest I Ever Got to a Threesome
31. Family Stress; or, Save the Drama for Your Mama
32. The Exam of a Lifetime; or, My Next MRI
33. “Laughs for Bald Bryan”; or, “Baby, How?!”
34. Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying; or, Italy
35. Razor Blades; or, How a Trip to Costco Became My Most Life-Affirming Moment
36. Epilogue; or, Postscript, Afterword, Coda, Dénouement, Etc.
Notes
Acknowledgments; or, Thanks, Shout-Outs, Etc.
About the Author
Copyright
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