ACTivate Your Life · Using Acceptance and Mindfulness to Build a Life That Is Rich, Fulfilling and Fun by Joe Oliver, Jon Hill -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Cover Title Copyright Contents 1. Introduction: Getting Unstuck and Enjoying Your Life

Life Is Messy You Have the Skills! Life Is for Living Open, Aware, Active

Open Aware Active

Meet Tim, Marcia, Samantha and Dave How Open, Aware and Active Is Tim?

Open Aware Active

How Open, Aware and Active Is Marcia?

Open Aware Active

How Open, Aware and Active Is Samantha?

Open Aware Active

How Open, Aware and Active Is Dave?

Open Aware Active

How Open, Aware and Active Are You?

2. Open: The Skill of Opening Up to Thoughts and Feelings

EXERCISE – Think of a Proud Moment Thoughts – What Are They Good For?

Thoughts as Tools Our Mind at Work Just Control Your Thoughts! EXERCISE – Thought Bingo The Mind Is a Drama Queen Fusion with Thoughts How to Spot Thought Fusion. But What about Positive Thoughts? Dealing with Fusion – the Skill of Defusion Thank Your Mind Different Ways of Being with Thoughts EXERCISE: Experimenting with Thoughts

Emotions – Being Open to All of Your Experience

What are Emotions Anyway? Clean and Dirty Pain Acceptance: The Skill of Opening Up Getting to Know Your Emotions EXERCISE – Getting to Know Your Emotions The Emotional Radio and the Secret Openness Dial EXERCISE: Opening Up to Emotions Extra Tips Urges and How to Surf Them Successfully Next Steps

3. Aware: Noticing What’s Going on Inside and Connecting with the World Around You

Are You Paying Attention? What Are the Benefits? A Little about Connection Some Simple Ways to Practise Mindfulness and Aware Skills EXERCISE: Awareness of Breath Practise, Practise, Practise EXERCISE: Three-Step Breathing Space Watch Yourself! The ‘Thinking Self’ and the ‘Observing Self’ EXERCISE: Noticing That You Are Noticing EXERCISE: Noticing, Watching, Observing Getting Some Perspective EXERCISE: Taking the Perspective of Another Listen to Yourself! The United States of You EXERCISE: Getting To Know Your Advisers Try a Little Tenderness EXERCISE: Extending Compassion towards the Child Within Getting Connected EXERCISE: Awareness of Eating a Sweet Ugly, Boring, Unfunny . . . Next Steps

4. Active: Knowing What’s Important and Moving in That Direction

Where Are You Going? Values – What Are You Guided By? What Are Values? A Five-Year Perspective EXERCISE: Looking Back on Five Years of Acting on Your Values What Values Aren’t

Values Are Not about Feeling Good Values Are Not about ‘Uncovering the Answer’, ‘Finding the Truth’ or ‘Being Sure’ Values Are Not Goals Goals or Values? Finding the Direction Values Are Not about Pleasing Other People or ‘Fitting In’ And Finally, Values Aren’t (More) Rules!

Constructing Values

Connecting with the Observing Self Your Own Perspective EXERCISE: Your Eightieth Birthday

Everything Changes The Perspective of Others EXERCISE: Your Best Friend EXERCISE: Your Heroes and People You Admire Trying on Different Fashions Guiding Stars The Light on the Hill Learning from the ‘Peak Moments’ of Your Life

What are the moments when you feel most alive, vital and engaged? EXERCISE: Peak Moment VALUES EXERCISE: Choose Four Areas of Life Once You Have Chosen an Area:

Watch Your Mind Work Its Magic Now Make Some Plans! EXERCISE: Noticing the Opportunities to Take Your Valued Actions Now Acting on Your Values

The Ripple Effect Video Gaming The Daily Charge

Useful Metaphors

Sailing Metaphor Garden Metaphor

Keep Going: the Essence of Committed Action EXERCISE: Visualising Goals Qualities of Committed Action Your Life as a ‘Work in Progress’ How We Organise Our Lives to Engage in Valued Actions The Link between ‘Feeling It’ and ‘Doing It’

Dial ‘P’ for Purpose EXERCISE: Identifying Times That Involve Deliberately Setting the Purpose Dial

Bringing It All Together – Taking the Long Journey up a Mountain

5. Getting Unstuck from Depression and Activating

What Is Depression? What Causes Depression? Getting Stuck in Depression Out of the Moment and Autopilot Engaged The Inactivity Trap EXERCISE: Depression Activity Worksheet Bringing It All Together: The Depression Trap EXERCISE: What Is Your Depression Pattern? Curious Explorer into Depression Opening Up to Depression

It Will Never Work out, What’s the Point? You Won’t Enjoy It Anyway No One Cares I’m Depressed Anyway You’ve Always Failed in The Past Responsibility Bias – You Always Mess up Everything It’s Not Fair – I’m Not to Blame! EXERCISE: Mind Watching Self Compassion – the Importance of Kindness Openness – Self-Soothing Shame – the Unspoken Emotion

Awareness – Disengaging the Autopilot

EXERCISE: Rumination vs Problem-Solving EXERCISE: A Mindful Alternative Connecting with Values EXERCISE. Beginning to Get Active Rewards EXERCISE: Noticing and Evaluating Worksheet Building Upwards

6. From Vigilance to Values: Living More Effectively with Anxiety and Worry

What Is Anxiety? How Common Are Anxiety Disorders? What Is the Experience of Anxiety Made up Of?

Emotions Thinking Behaviour

Why Do We Experience Anxiety?

Genetics Early Experiences and Life Events Personality Traits Thinking Styles

Putting It All Together The Dig for Answers . . . or Acting in the Present? Anxiety – a Psychologically Flexible Approach Open – Closed

The Struggle with Anxiety Is the Problem! EXERCISE: Noticing Your Own Unwillingness EXERCISE: What Parts of Your Life Have Been Made Smaller Because of Anxiety?

Thinking: Watching the Alarms Go Off Aware – Threat Detection! You = Fear? Working with Worry and Rumination: Aware and Open skills Mindfulness Practice: Watching Your Worries, Rather than Being Caught up by Them EXERCISE: Watching the Clouds in the Sky EXERCISE: The Four-Day Flexible Contact with Worry (Expressive Writing Exercise) Other Perspectives EXERCISE: Watching the Worst Disaster Movie in the World! Breaking the Worry Rules – What If This Sounds Wrong to You? EXERCISE: The Present Moment . . . Getting Out of the Rumination Hole Active – Avoidance and Escape Living a Broad-Horizon Life EXERCISE: Broadening Your Life - How Big Is Your Comfort Zone? The Process of Broadening Your Life

7. Cooling the Anger Process

Why Do We Get Angry? An ACT Approach to Problematic Anger

Trigger Event Anger Thoughts Anger Feelings Anger Urges Anger Behaviours EXERCISE: Breaking Down an Anger Episode

Angry Mind Reading EXERCISE: Mind Reading Judgement and Hot Labelling Understanding Anger Feelings Stuck in the Thinking Self So, What Can I Do to Manage My Anger More Effectively? Defusion EXERCISE: I’m Having the Thought That . . . Opening Up to Anger EXERCISE: Breathing Into the Anger Beyond Anger Feelings EXERCISE: More Than Just Angry What Do You Need? EXERCISE: Standing Up for Your Values Another Perspective on Anger EXERCISE: Mind Reading Revisited Surfing Your Anger Urges When It All Goes Wrong

8. Moving from Self-Esteem to Self-Acceptance

Do You Like Yourself? What Is Self-Esteem? Everyone’s a Critic Everyone’s a Winner Playing by a Different Set of Rules Self-Esteem and the Thinking Self Playing It Safe Building Walls and Keeping Others at Arm’s Length EXERCISE – Playing It Safe How Did I Get Here? Is Low Self-Esteem Workable? An Active Starting Point – What Matters to You?

An Invitation – Pause EXERCISE: Imagine if No One Cared What You Did

Opening Up A Leap of Faith From Self-Esteem to Self-Acceptance: a Step Toward Kindness A Word about Pleasing Others Assertiveness – Effectively Expressing Your Needs Using Your Aware Skills Bringing It All Together – Developing a More Flexible Sense of Self

9. Keeping It Going

Changing Your Life Is Hard Work ACTivating Your Life Is Like . . . Kayaking How to Make ACTivating Yourself a Habit So, It Isn’t about Will Power Recommitment – Handling Frustration and Relapses Handling Procrastination How to Handle Failure . . . or Redefining Success How To Practise These Skills Repeatedly as Your Life Expands Revisiting Tim, Marcia and Samantha and Dave Now, How Open, Aware and Active Are You?

OPEN, AWARE AND ACTIVE WORKSHEET

Open, Aware and Active Chart

Index

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