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Index
Cover
Also From the Modern Library Humor and Wit Series
Title Page
Copyright
Biographical Note
Introduction to the Modern Library Humor and Wit Series: Steve Martin
Introduction by Roy Blount, Jr.
Editorial Note
Introduction
Contents
Index of Authors
The Notorious Jumping Frog of Calaveras County: S. L. Clemens (Mark Twain)
Warm Hair: Mark Twain
A Fight With a Trout: Charles Dudley Warner
The Villager and the Snake: George Thomas Lanigan
How We Astonished the Rivermouthians: Thomas Bailey Aldrich
The Legend of Mimir: Robert Jones Burdette
Tushmaker’s Toothpuller: John Phœnix
The Tomb of Adam: Mark Twain
Rev. Cream Cheese and the New Livery: A Letter From Mrs. Potiphar to Miss Caroline Pettitoes: George William Curtis
Carrie’s Comedy: William Livingstone Alden
To Correspondents: Josh Billings
The Worst Man and the Stupidest Man in Turkey: Samuel S. Cox
First-Class Snake Stories: Brooklyn Eagle
His First Day At Editing: Eugene Field
Abelard and Heloise: Mark Twain
A Family Horse: F. W. Cozzens
A Genuine Mexican Plug: Mark Twain
A Visit to Brigham Young: Artemus Ward
The Simple Story of G. Washington: Robert J. Burdette
The Courtin’: James Russell Lowell
‘Tis Only My Husband: Joseph C. Neal
A Day’s Work: Mark Twain
Trying to Understand a Woman: W. D. Howells
A Female Base-Ball Club: James M. Bailey
Woman: Josh Billings
The Robin and the Woodpecker: Ambrose Bierce
The Tar Baby: Uncle Remus
Dick Baker’s Cat: Mark Twain
The Haunted Room: R. J. Burdette
A Restless Night: Mark Twain
Rip Van Winkle: Washington Irving
The Ostrich and the Hen: Geo. T. Lanigan
Women’s Rights: Artemus Ward
Nothing to Wear: William Allen Butler
Illustrated Newspapers: John Phœnix
Jack Downing in Portland: Seba Smith
A Dose of Pain Killer: Mark Twain
Fables of the Hodja: Samuel S. Cox
The Dog and the Bees: Ambrose Bierce
Sicily Burns’s Wedding: George W. Harris
Ballad of the Rhine: Hans Breitmann
The Expensive Treat of Col. Moses Grice: Richard Malcolm Johnston
One of Mr. Ward’s Business Letters: Artemus Ward
Woman Suffrage: R. J. Burdette
On “Forts“: Artemus Ward
The Fox and the Crow: Geo. T. Lanigan
European Diet: Mark Twain
The Vacation of Mustapha: R. J. Burdette
The First Piano in a Mining Camp: Sam Davis
Darius Green and His Flying-Machine: J. T. Trowbridge
Plumbers: Charles Dudley Warner
The Remarkable Wreck of the “Thomas Hyke”: Frank R. Stockton
Experience of the McWilliamses with Membraneous Croup: Mark Twain
The Hodja’s Donkey on His Veracity: S. S. Cox
Little Breeches: John Hay
Love’s Young Dream: W. D. Howells
The Belle of Vallejo: W. L. Alden
Kitty Answers: W. D. Howells
Fourth of July Oration: Delivered July 4th, at Weathersfield, Connecticut, 1859: Artemus Ward
The Parson’s Horse-Race: Harriet Beecher Stowe
Wrecked in Port: R. J. Burdette
A Pleasure Exertion: Marietta Holley
The Ant and the Grain of Corn: Ambrose Bierce
The Man and the Goose: Ambrose Bierce
Nevada Nabobs in New York: Mark Twain
A Jersey Centenarian: Bret Harte
Phœnix at Sea: John Phœnix
A Victim of Hospitality: Rev. F. W. Shelton
The Donation Party: R. J. Burdette
The Peterkins Decide to Learn the Languages: By Lucretia Peabody Hale
A Fatal Thirst: Bill Nye
Mrs. Brown’s Fate
Captain Ben’s Choice: Mrs. Francis Lee Pratt
The Mackrel: Josh Billings
A Quick Eye for Business
The Owl-Critic: A Lesson to Fault-Finders: Jas. T. Fields
The Kind-Hearted She-Elephant: Geo. T. Lanigan
A Dog in Church: Mark Twain
A Visit to the Asylum for Aged and Decayed Punsters: Oliver Wendell Holmes
Minnesota Wheat
Getting a Glass of Water: F. W. Cozzens
The Hodja as a Prophet: S. S. Cox
Blue-Jays: Mark Twain
An Italian’s View of a New England Winter: J. M. Bailey
The Nobleman and the Oyster: Ambrose Bierce
Custom House Morals: W. D. Howells
A Western Reminiscence
The Total Depravity of Inanimate Things: Katherine Kent Child Walker
Oon Criteek De Bernhardt: Eugene Field
Lectures on Astronomy: John Phœnix
Little Charles and the Fruit
Our Italian Guide: Mark Twain
She Had to Take Her Things Along: Robert J. Burdette
The Garden and Its Enemies: Charles Dudley Warner
The Hodja Makes Up His Mind to Marry: S. S. Cox
The Old Settler: His Reasons for Thinking There Is Natural Gas in Deep Rock Gulley: Edward Harold Mott
Boy the Destroyer: Charles Dudley Warner
The Type-Writer: Robert J. Burdette
High-Handed Outrage at Utica: Artemus Ward
At Niagara: W. D. Howells
A New System of English Grammar: John Phœnix
In Sis’s Interest
The Deacon’s Masterpiece: O. W. Holmes
“Not Like in Like, But Like in Difference”: R. J. Burdette
Lost in the Snow: Mark Twain
Uncle Joshua Downing in Boston: Letter From Joshua Downing, in Boston, to His Nephew, Jack Downing, in Portland: Seba Smith
John Phœnix Renders the Editor of the “San Diego Herald” An Account of His Stewardship: John Phœnix
Economical Indeed
Hans Breitmann’s Party: Hans Breitmann
A New Patent Medicine Operation: Q. K. Philander Doesticks
The Centipede and the Barbaric Yak: G. T. Lanigan
The Cayote: Mark Twain
The Hodja’s House: S. S. Cox
The Boy and the Tortoise: Ambrose Bierce
The Friend of My Youth: T. B. Aldrich
The Camel and the Zebra: Ambrose Bierce
“Success With Small Fruits”: R. J. Burdette
Natral and Unnatral Aristokrats: Josh Billings
Examples of Turkish Justice: S. S. Cox
A Great Fit: Orpheus C. Kerr
Artemus Ward and the Prince of Wales: Artemus Ward
Brilliant Drunkards: Charles Dudley Warner
Train Manners: R. J. Burdette
Their First Quarrel: W. D. Howells
The Neat Person: Josh Billings
Railway Volapük: R. J. Burdette
Simon Suggs Gets a “Soft Snap” on His Daddy: Johnson J. Hooper
Found: Josh Billings
Colonel Sellers at Home: Mark Twain
Interview With President Lincoln: Artemus Ward
The Alarmed Skipper: J. T. Fields
How I Killed a Bear: Charles Dudley Warner
The Grasshopper and the Ant: G. T. Lanigan
A Sleeping-Car Experience: Bret Harte
The Shopper: R. J. Burdette
The Bumble Bee: Josh Billings
Another Chance for Sorosis: R. J. Burdette
After the Funeral: J. M. Bailey
Cannibalism in the Cars: Mark Twain
Pie: Charles Dudley Warner
Butterwick’s Little Gas Bill: Anonymous
Pistol Shooting—A Counter Challenge: John Phœnix
Boston: A.W. to His Wife: Artemus Ward
Sewing-Machine—Feline Attachment: Circular: to the Public: John Phœnix
Fables: The Merchant of Venice and The Good Samaritan: G.T. Lanigan
Preaching v. Practice: R. J. Burdette
The Society Upon the Stanislaus: Bret Harte
What He Wanted It For: J. M. Bailey
Ants, Etc.: Josh Billings
The Romance of the Carpet: R. J. Burdette
Mr. Simpkins’s Downfall: W. L. Alden
Mr. Rabbit Grossly Deceives Mr. Fox: Uncle Remus
How I Edited an Agricultural Paper: Mark Twain
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