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Index
Title page
Copyright information
Contents
About the author
Acknowledgements
The Inky Fool blog
Epigraph
Dedication
Preambulation
Chapter 1
6 a.m. – Dawn
Alarm clocks – trying to get back to sleep – feigning illness
Chapter 2
7 a.m. – Waking and Washing
Slippers – looking in the mirror – self-loathing – lavatory – shower – hair – shaving – brushing your teeth
Chapter 3
8 a.m. – Dressing and Breakfast
Clothes – make-up – breakfast – preparing to depart
Chapter 4
9 a.m. – Commute
Weather – transport – car – bus – train – arriving late
Chapter 5
10 a.m. – The Morning Meeting
Staying awake – listening – arguing – yes, no, who cares? – mugwumps – keeping quiet
Chapter 6
11 a.m. – Taking a Break
Coffee – gossip – incredulity – cigarette
Chapter 7
Noon – Looking as Though You’re Working
Effortlessness – sales and marketing – emails – approaching bankruptcy – asking for a raise
Chapter 8
1 p.m. – Lunch
Where to eat – who pays – The Free Lunch – eating – eating turtles – indigestion
Chapter 9
2 p.m. – Returning to Work
Nap – phoning family members
Chapter 10
3 p.m. – Trying to Make Others Work
Finding them – shouting at them
Chapter 11
4 p.m. – Tea
Chapter 12
5 p.m. – Actually Doing Some Work
Panicking – deadlines – giving up – stealing from your employer – leaving
Chapter 13
6 p.m. – After Work
Strolling around – arranging your evening
Chapter 14
7 p.m. – Shopping
Disorientation – ecstasy in the supermarket
Chapter 15
8 p.m. – Supper
Dietary requirements – seating arrangements – making conversation – avoiding conversation – hogging the wine – finishing supper – avoiding the bill
Chapter 16
9 p.m. – Drinking
Persuading others to – choosing a bar – opening the door – approaching the bar – ordering – drinking – the results of drinking – empties – forms of drunkenness
Chapter 17
10 p.m. – Wooing
On the prowl – observing your target – the chat-up – dancing – kissing – making rash proposals of marriage – fanfreluching – rejection
Chapter 18
11 p.m. – Stumbling Home
Setting off – getting lost – falling over – attempts to sleep outdoors
Chapter 19
Midnight – Nostos
Making too much noise upon returning – attempting to work – undressing – arguing with spouse – falling asleep
Epilogue
Appendix
Paralipomenon – The Drinker’s Dictionary
Dictionaries and Idioticons
Index
The Etymologicon
The Etymologicon Audiobook
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