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Imperial Library
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Index
Cover
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Table of Contents
Foreword
1. Always Wear Sensible Shoes
2. Children Require Age- Appropriate Entertainment
3. Know Your Limitations
4. Don’t Major in Journalism
5. Don’t Move to Podunk
6. Don’t Talk to Strangers
7. Never Arrive at the Funeral Home Late
8. Don’t Bring Your Problems to Work
9. Send Your Kids to the Best School in Town
10. No Autographs Please
11. Family Secrets Aren’t Meant to Be Shared
12. A Minute on the Lips, Forever on the Hips
13. Your Children Always Come First
14. Ice, Elevate, and Stay Off of It
15. Don’t Move Without a Job
16. Don’t Talk About Death to the Dying
17. Sending Fan Mail is Tacky
18. Never Get A Tattoo
19. Miranda Lambert is Not a Licensed Therapist
20. Snoopers Never Prosper
21. Always Know Your Date’s Pedigree
22. Never Let Them See Your Scars
Afterword
Acknowledgments
About the Author
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