The Rebel Mama's Handbook for (Cool) Moms by Jassem, Aleks -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Cover Title Page Dedication Contents Foreword Common-Sense Disclaimer Glossary of Rebel Mama Terms Introduction: Sorry for What I Said When I Was a Childless Asshole Part 1: On Pregnancy

Unsolicited Rapid-Fire Advice When Pregnancy Meets Vanity How to Produce a (Badass) Maternity Shoot Registry S.O.S. The Mythical Horny Pregnant Lady Babymoon It Up That Hospital Bag Ain’t Gonna Pack Itself The Rebel Mama’s Code of Conduct

Part 2: On Postpartum

Unsolicited Rapid-Fire Advice Labour and Delivery: It Probably Won’t Go According to Plan (And That’s Fine) Let Her Heal Boob Talk Mama: The (Unintentionally) New and Improved You Losing Your Postnatal Virginity The Five Stages of Postpartum Hair Loss The Almighty Mom A Note for (New) Rebel Papas

Part 3: On Babies

Unsolicited Rapid-Fire Advice The Most Surprising Thing About the Newborn Phase What a Great-Grandma Wants You to Know About Infants Maternal Mental Health Matters . . . A Lot The Great (Ridiculous) Formula Debate Jet-Set Baby Get Your Sleep (Training) On Mom Insomnia Debunked You’re Allowed to Say “This Sucks” Lessons From a Six-Month-Old Mush 101 Mom-Dating: A Guide Ten People Your Baby Will Make You Hate How to Get Five Goddamn Minutes to Yourself Mom’s Night Out Hungover Parenting Childcare Dilemmas Dressing Like a Rebel Mama

Part 4: On Toddlers

Unsolicited Rapid-Fire Advice Your Drunk Friend From College 2.0 Baby Talk (And the Art of Not Using It) Who’s the Boss? iChoose Sanity: A (Realistic) Guide to Screen Time Potty Training: Don’t Bother Avoiding the Over-Gifting Epidemic The Threenager How to Not Lose Your Shit on the Daily

Part 5: On Siblings

Unsolicited Rapid-Fire Advice Life With Two (The Early Days) How to Pretend to Be a Functioning Adult When Company Drops in One and Done A Letter to the (Furry) Siblings

Part 6: On “Big” Kids

Unsolicited Rapid-Fire Advice Hot Tips for Not Raising an Asshole Lessons for Our Kids Manners, Chores, and Responsibilities Life With Two (The Other Side of Hell) School Prep: The Master List

Part 7: On Escaping

Unsolicited Rapid-Fire Advice A Complete Guide to Temporary Child Abandonment Ten Steps to Home-Alone Heaven Travelling by Your Damn Self The Great Backyard Escape

Part 8: On Mama Drama

Unsolicited Rapid-Fire Advice Emotional Labour: The Bane of Our Motherly Existence A Responsibility Chart for a High-Functioning Household Back-to-Work Bullshit The Rebel Mama Resumé Be Nice to Your Mother-in-Law (Yes, Really) An Ode to the Rebel Aunties Who Needs a Cocktail?

In Closing Acknowledgements About the Authors Copyright About the Publisher