57 Ways to Screw Up in Grad School by Haggerty, Kevin D. -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Cover Title Page Copyright Page Dedication Contents An Introduction to Screwing Up

Who Are I? Gendered Pronouns Thesis vs. Dissertation?

The Screw-Ups

Starting Out

1 Do Not Think about Why You Are Applying 2 Ignore the Market 3 Stay at the Same University 4 Follow the Money Blindly 5 Do an Unfunded PhD 6 Do an Interdisciplinary PhD 7 Believe Advertised Completion Times 8 Ignore the Information the University Provides You 9 Expect the Money to Take Care of Itself

Supervisors

10 Go It Alone and Stay Quiet 11 Choose the Coolest Supervisor 12 Have Co-Supervisors 13 Do Not Clarify Your Supervisor’s (or Your Own) Expectations 14 Avoid Your Supervisor and Committee 15 Stay in a Bad Relationship 16 Expect People to Hold Your Hand

Managing Your Program

17 Concentrate Only on Your Thesis 18 Expect to Write the Perfect Comprehensive Exam 19 Select a Topic for Entirely Strategic Reasons 20 Do Not Teach, or Teach a Ton of Courses 21 Do Not Seek Teaching Instruction 22 Move Away from the University Before Finishing Your Degree 23 Postpone Those Tedious Approval Processes 24 Organize Everything Only in Your Head 25 Do Not Attend Conferences, or Attend Droves of Conferences

Your Work and Social Life

26 Concentrate Solely on School 27 Expect Friends and Family to Understand 28 Socialize Only with Your Clique 29 Get a Job!

Writing

30 Write Only Your PhD Thesis 31 Postpone Publishing 32 Cover Everything 33 Do Not Position Yourself 34 Write Only to Deadlines 35 Abuse Your Audience

Your Attitude and Actions

36 Expect to Be Judged Only on Your Work 37 Have a Thin Skin 38 Be Inconsiderate 39 Become “That” Student 40 Never Compromise 41 Gossip 42 Say Whatever Pops into Your Head on Social Media

Delicate Matters

43 Assume That the University Is More Inclusive Than Other Institutions 44 Rush into a Legal Battle 45 Get Romantically Involved with Faculty 46 Cheat and Plagiarize

Am I Done Yet?: On Finishing

47 Skip Job Talks 48 Expect to Land a Job in a Specific University 49 Expect People to Hire You to Teach Your Thesis 50 Turn Down Opportunities to Participate in Job Searches 51 Neglect Other People’s Theses 52 Get an Unknown External Examiner 53 Do Not Understand the Endgame 54 Be Blasé about Your Defense 55 Do Not Plan for Your Job Interview 56 Persevere at All Costs 57 Consider a Non-Academic Career a Form of Failure

Final Thoughts Appendix: A Sketch of Grad School

The Thesis The Program Your Department The People

Acknowledgments Index