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Just a couple of tweaks and it’s an iPhone on wheels
Daihatsu Materia
It’s far too cool for you, Mr Footballer
Mazda MX-5 Roadster Coupé 2.0i
Tailor-made for the hard of thinking
Subaru Impreza WRX STi
Clarkson on road safety
Jeremy’s wit and wisdom
The rubbish, brilliant saviour of Jaguar
Jaguar XF SV8
David Dimbleby made me wet myself
Mercedes-Benz CLK Black Series
Look, you traffic wombles, I’ve had enough
Renaultsport Clio 197 Cup
No, princess, you may not have my Fiat
Fiat 500 1.2 Pop
A mainstay of the car-washing classes
Renault Laguna Sport Tourer Dynamique 2.0
Lovely to drive, awful to live with
Porsche Cayenne GTS
The aristo ruined by the devil’s brew
Subaru Legacy Outback TD RE
A beauty cursed by travel sickness
Callaway Corvette C6
… catch me if you can
Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution X FQ-360 GSR
Look, mums – a 4×4 planet saver
Mitsubishi Outlander 2.2 DI-DC Diamond
Press a button and pray it’s the right one
Citroën C5 2.7 HDi V6 Exclusive
Face lifted, clanger dropped
Mercedes-Benz SL 63 AMG
So awful even the maker tells you to walk
Kia Sedona 2.9 CRDi TS
The problem is … it’s out of this world
Nissan GT-R
Fair Porsche, my sweet Italian lover
Boxster RS 60 Spyder
Mr Weedy comes up with the goods
Mercedes-Benz SL 350
Herr Thruster’s gone all limp and lost
BMW M3 convertible
It takes you to the edge … and shoves
Porsche 911 Carrera GT2
The Devil’s done a fruity one
Mercedes SLR McLaren Roadster
Eat my dust, Little England
Jaguar XKR-S Coupé
Calm yourselves, campers
Ford Kuga 2.0 TDCi Titanium
Très bien – a plumber in a tux
Citroën Berlingo Multispace
This is an epic car. Every single atom of every single component is designed only to make your life as quiet and as comfortable as possible. Dreaming of a …
Rolls-Royce Phantom Coupé
Oh, tell me it’s not too late
Aston Martin Vantage
An old flame returns to relight my fire
Volkswagen Scirocco
A one-armed man with a twitch can go fast in a Gallardo
Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4
Oh no, this is the world’s worst car
Chrysler Sebring Cabriolet 2.7 V6
A Wilmslow pimp with class
Cadillac CTS-V
Misery, thy name is Vespa
Vespa GTV Navy 125
A trolley’s the better bet
Renault Twingo Renaultsport 133
Don’t go breaking my bones, baby
Alfa Romeo Brera S 3.2 JTS V6
Well, I did ask for a growlier exhaust
Racing Green Jaguar XKR 475
Just take your big antlers and rut off
Audi RS6 Avant
Look, a cow running in the Grand National
Infiniti FX50S
Watch out, this nipper’s tooled up
Ford Fiesta Titanium 1.6
An adequate way to drive to hell
Vauxhall Insignia 2.8 V6 4x4 Elite Nav
Safety first, then rough and tumble
Volvo XC60 T6 SE Lux
Fritz forgot the little things
BMW 330d M Sport
Out of nowhere, my car of the year
Chevrolet Corvette ZR1
What bright spark thought of this?
Tesla Roadster
This is by far the best of all the school-run-mobiles. There really is room for seven people, fourteen legs and two dogs in the boot as well
Volvo XC90 D5 SE R-Design
I’m scared of the dark in this doom buggy
Ford Ka Zetec 1.2
Never mind, Daphne, at least you’re pretty
Volkswagen Passat CC GT V6
The sinister …
BMW 730d SE
A smart, thrifty choice
Toyota iQ2 1.0 VVT-i
Perfect, the car for all seasons
Range Rover TDV8 Vogue SE
Flawed but fun
Alfa MiTo 1.4 TB 155bhp Veloce
Problem is, I don’t think I ever met anyone who would buy a Mazda 6 – and also it’s pretty hopeless
Mazda 6 2.2 five-door Sport Diesel
Trying to break the speed limit in this car would be like trying to break the speed limit while riding a cow
Fiat Qubo 1.3 16v MultiJet Dynamic
I raised my knife, snarled … and fell in love
Jaguar XKR convertible
The car adds up
Lotus Evora 2+2
No, fatty, you do not give me the horn
Citroën C3 Picasso 1.6HDi 110 Exclusive
It’s the eco-nut’s roughest, itchiest hair shirt
Honda Insight 1.3 IMA SE Hybrid
Enough power to restart a planet
Audi Q7 V12 TDI Quattro
Ghastly but lovable, the Vauxhall VXR8 Bathurst S is vulgar, terrible but ridiculously exciting
Vauxhall VXR8 Bathurst S
Oh please, angel, Daddy wants a go now
Toyota Urban Cruiser 1.33 VVT-i
You’ll really stand out – for paying too much
Mini Cooper S Convertible
The ultimate driving machine, or so I thought
BMW Z4 sDrive35i
Strip poker in the …
Ford Focus RS
Hey, Hans – don’t squeeze my bulls
Lamborghini Murciélago LP 670-4 SV
They’ve blown the saloon’s last chance
Mercedes E 500 Sport
The fastest pair of comfy slippers around
Jaguar XF 3.0 Diesel S Portfolio
Oops, this drunken driver is off to Brazil
Argo Avenger 700 8x8
Cheer yourself up in a …
Mazda MX-5 2.0i Sport Tech
The perfect supercar
Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4 Spyder
Oh dear, it thinks it’s going to save the world
Lexus RX 450h SE-L
… a great car, but who will buy it?
Ferrari California
Excuse me while I park my aircraft carrier
Ford Flex 3.5L EcoBoost AWD
We have ways of being a killjoy
BMW 135i M Sport convertible
Love is blind, thunder thighs
Audi TT RS Coupé
Comfort for all the family in a …
Skoda Octavia Scout 1.8 TSI
A car even its mother couldn’t love
Porsche Panamera 4.8 V8 Turbo
Turnip boy has softened its black heart
Mercedes-Benz CLK Black
Jack of all trades
Toyota RAV4 SR 2.2 D-4D
Land Rover leaves behind the murderers
Land Rover Discovery 4 3.0 TDV6 HSE
Ye gods, it’s smashed through the apple cart
Audi A4 Allroad 3.0 TDI Quattro
It’s fresh, it’s funky – and it freaks my kids out
Kia Soul 1.6 CRDi Shaker
Just one trip and I was a mellow fellow
Saab 9-3X 2.0 Turbo XWD
Oh yes, this is why Wakefield trumps Dubai
Aston Martin DBS Volante
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