Making the Connection: Strategies to Build Effective Personal Relationships (Collection) by Herring, Jonathan -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

How to Argue: Powerfully, Persuasively, Positively

Introduction

Part 1: The ten golden rules of argument

1 Golden Rule 1: Be prepared 2 Golden Rule 2: When to argue, when to walk away 3 Golden Rule 3: What you say and how you say it 4 Golden Rule 4: Listen and listen again 5 Golden Rule 5: Excel at responding to arguments 6 Golden Rule 6: Watch out for crafty tricks 7 Golden Rule 7: Develop the skills for arguing in public 8 Golden Rule 8: Be able to argue in writing 9 Golden Rule 9: Be great at resolving deadlock 10 Golden Rule 10: Maintain relationships

Part 2: Situations where arguments commonly arise

11 How to argue with those you love 12 How to argue with your children 13 Arguments at work 14 How to complain 15 How to get what you want from an expert 16 Arguing when you know you’re in the wrong 17 Arguing again and again 18 Doormats 19 How to be a good winner 20 To recap

The Personal Credibility Factor: How to Get It, Keep It, and Get It Back, (If You’ve Lost It)

Introduction

Part I. The Three Secrets to Personal Credibility

Tell Everyone: There Are Actually Three Secrets! Reading for All It’s Worth... Chapter 1. Secret #1: Forget Power, Position, Status, and Other Such Nonsense Same Ideas, But Very Different Results It’s What You Do, Not What You Say Secret #1 Applies to Other Life Experiences

Credibility in Parenting

Chapter 2. Secret #2: I Can See Right Through You The Human Invisible Fence

Authenticity: We Know It When It’s Not There The Silent Alarm System It All Begins with Accepting Our Own Human Warts Invisible Fences Don’t All Look Alike

Authentic Results, Even During Tough Times

Taking It Personally

A Final Word of Encouragement Chapter 3. Secret #3: The Decision to Suspend Judgment A Frustrating Situation for Dad

Hold Your Thoughts...Just for a While Thinking Through Your Tendencies

The Thought Process for Suspending Judgment For Personal Credibility: Know the Secrets!

Part II. Stepping Up with Credibility: Seven Steps Influence Credibility

Understanding Influence and Personal Credibility Chapter 4. Step #1: Know Your “Stuff” Learning As She Goes How Do I Make Sure That I Know My Stuff?

Gain an Appetite for Knowledge—Consider It Credibility Survival! Read! Seek Wise Counsel Know the Enemy (Its Name Is Apathy!)

Chapter 5. Step #2: Keep Commitments Commitments Break Down and Invisible Fences Go Up

Keeping Small Commitments Adds Up to Big Credibility

Commitment Difference Makers Chapter 6. Step #3: Honor Confidences and Avoid Gossip With the Best of Intentions The Truth Behind the Gossip Chapter 7. Step #4: Know Yourself—the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly! She Knew Herself and Understood Third Time Is the Charm Section 1: Ideas or Evidence?

Ideas Evidence

Section 2: Direct or Diplomatic?

Direct Diplomatic

Section 3: Retreat or Engage?

Retreat Engage

Section 4: Options or Plans?

Options Plans

Chapter 8. Step #5: Choose to Value Others—the Good, and Yes, Even the Bad and the Ugly! Ideas or Evidence? Direct or Diplomatic? Retreat or Engage? Options or Plans? Some Final Thoughts on Style Differences and Personal Credibility Chapter 9. Step #6: Ask More and Listen Most Tip #1: Stop and Connect Tip #2: Restate or Paraphrase Tip #3: Ask, Ask, Ask... Chapter 10. Step #7: Create Credible Interactions Interaction Technique: Maximize Your Agreements Interaction Technique: Create Productive Disagreements

Scenario #1: There’s More Than One Way to Look at Numbers Scenario #2: She Was Always Late!

Interaction Technique: Express Your Thoughts with Credibility

Who Am I Speaking To? What Am I Saying? How Do I Say It Effectively?

Part III. Face the Truth and Begin Anew

Chapter 11. The Truth Shall Set You Free—When You Avoid Truth Traps! Trap #1: The Little White Lie Trap #2: The Need to Be “In the Know” Trap #3: Loose Lips Sink Ships... and Our Credibility Trap #4: Don’t Worry...It’s Done! Truth Trap Tips

#1: Make the Decision to Be a Truthful Person #2: Don’t Overexplain or Create Excuses—Just Stick with the Facts! #3: If You Are Clueless...Say So! #4: The Truth Doesn’t Need Stretching—It Just Needs Doing

Chapter 12. Credibility: I’ve Lost It—Can I Rebuild It? Rebuilding Is a Process, Not an Event A Simple Statement: “You Were Right” “I Meant Well, but I Blew It!” From Problems to Progress Chapter 13. Rebuilding: One Step at a Time Step 1: Objectively Acknowledge Your Own Actions Step 2: Identify Your Options for the Next Action Step 3: Verbally Take Ownership with Those Impacted Step 4: Manage Your Expectations Step 5: Share What You Learn from the Rebuilding Process Starting Over...Every Day

Tapping Into the Power of the Three Secrets to Personal Credibility Stepping Up with Credibility: Seven Steps Everyone Can Take to Increase Personal Credibility and Impact

How to Get What You Want: Without Having to Ask

Introduction

PART 1 Be the Kind of Person Who Gets What They Want

Know What You Want Know Why You Want It Know How Much You Want It Want What You Get Don’t Be a Fuzzy Thinker Know What It Takes Work Out Who You Need on Your Side Break Big Ambitions into Chunks Set Up Some Milestones Celebrate Every Step Write It All Down Analyze Your Sticking Points Set Your Deadlines Check Out the Back Door Don’t Make Excuses Think Positive Don’t Hang Out with Naysayers Say It Out Loud Believe in Yourself Expect Ups and Downs Enjoy It When You Get It

PART 2 Be the Kind of Person People Want to Say Yes To

Don’t Fake It—Have Real Confidence Sound Confident Look Confident Learn to Say No Give Them an Alternative Be a Broken Record Be Sure You’re Sorry Say What You Mean Think Before You Speak Be Prepared to Disagree Control Yourself Express Yourself Don’t Use Emotional Blackmail... ...and Don’t Give In to It Treat People with Respect Have Plenty of Time Be Likeable Have a Sense of Humor Be Honest Always Say Thank You Don’t Do Too Much Give a Bit Extra Be Generous Praise but Don’t Flatter Be Loyal Don’t Talk Behind People’s Backs Learn to Take Criticism Well Admit Your Mistakes Get to Know People Learn to Listen Properly Know What You’ve Agreed To Pick Up the Signals Sympathize with Other People’s Anger Don’t Respond to Tactical Anger Give Other People Results Be Part of Your Organization Work Hard Work Right Be Worth It

PART 3 Help Them to Say Yes

Make Sure You’re Getting Through to Them And Make Sure They’re Getting Through to You Think About Why They’d Say No Show You Understand Be Objective Give Them an Excuse to Make an Exception Solve Their Problems Read the Clues Learn What Gets Them Going Use the Right Words Get the Timing Right Tell Them What You Want Without Asking Don’t Keep Dropping Hints Make It Hypothetical Ask Questions Ask for Advice Instead of a Job Get Someone to Do the Asking for You Tell Them You Need Them Don’t Rush Them Give Them What They Want Make Them Think It Was Their Idea Discourage Their Bad Ideas Find Out What It Will Take Get a Team Behind You

PART 4 And If You Really Do Have to Ask...

Be Clear What You’re Asking Pick Your Moment Make a Date Know When to Put It Off Keep to the Script Rehearse It Rehearse Their Answer Don’t Go On About It Get the Essentials on Paper Have a Bottom Line Ask for More Than You Want Don’t Make Empty Threats Think About It Put the Decision in Writing Be Ready to Be Decisive Don’t Give Up

Making Sense of People: Decoding the Mysteries of Personality

Introduction

Part I: Describing Personality Differences

1 Personality Traits 2 Troublesome Patterns

Part II: Explaining Personality Differences

3 How Genes Make Us Different 4 Building a Personal Brain

Part III: Whole Persons, Whole Lives

5 What’s a Good Character? 6 Identity: Creating a Personal Story 7 Putting It All Together Endnotes References Index

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