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Index
Cover Page Title Page Copyright Page Contents Foreword Introduction ‘My mum gave him a bacon butty. He still talks about it today’ ‘These are a few of my favourite things’ ‘The animals openly mocked us’ ‘He is the man from Milk Tray. He is Gabriel Clarke’ ‘It’s mental, like something from a Mighty Boosh sketch’ ‘I’ve been breathing in some inconsiderate twat’s match farts’ ‘I’ve no idea how he got there, but he had the biggest smile on his face’ ‘A full-out Scouse accent amused her no end’ ‘Where was I in Istanbul? In bed at home’ ‘I’ve seen behind the curtain’ ‘Meatballs, chorizo, squid and potatoes’ ‘A wave of the hand, a smile and an intense examination of his boots’ ‘What the fuck are you on about, soft lad?’ ‘Dave said he was 18; like Paul Ince, Barnes and Roy Keane rolled into one’ ‘History has been written by the losers’ ‘The chart belonged to a 70-year-old Muslim man called Mohammed’ ‘It was just me, sitting alone in my pyjamas, eating a burrito’ ‘Don’t get me started on ‘Strange Town’’ ‘I imagine he still has nightmares of the 83rd minute and beyond’ ‘Once you’ve got it, you can’t un-get it’ ‘It’s all getting a bit serious isn’t it lads?’ ‘We ended up ploughing over the cattle grids of Woburn Safari Park’ ‘Perhaps they’re lacking something’ ‘It was the first time I’d seen lads drink lager tops’ ‘A bum with one cheek is never as saucy’ ‘Ifithadnerbeenforheysel’ ‘We’ll meet you by the wall after the match’ ‘I shared a bear hug with Ronnie Moran’ ‘The real Mr Tueart was always thwarted by the real Mr Clemence’ ‘The saunter forward, the sideways duck, the fizzing banana-shot’ ‘He’s 18 years old, he has no right to do that’ ‘Devon Loch job, as someone once said’ ‘We trade the pints in for caffeine and polo shirts’ ‘Beware. Whimsical Knobhead Below’ ‘One of the lads put a melted Mars bar on the roof’ ‘Get in, kill Bin Laden, get out’ ‘When Casey has a plan he’s a relentless bastard’ ‘Bag of chips’ ‘I love a bit of quality defending’ ‘He didn’t tell me his name. He never has’ ‘Maybe we could build a new country’ Conclusion Photographs
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