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Index
Title Page
Praise
Acknowledgments
WE KEEP GOING…AND GOING…AND GOING…
YOU’RE MY INSPIRATION
WARNING LABELS
MYTH-CONCEPTIONS
BUTTERFLY FACTS
OOPS !
STAYING ON TRACK
THE LONG AND SHORT OF THINGS
FIRE SAFETY 101
CSI: OOPS
LOWER EDUCATION
MAN VS. DRYER
TECH SUPPORT
FOOD ORIGINS
LATTE
FAST FOOD KIDS’ MEAL
THE SHIRLEY TEMPLE
WHY ARE THEY CALLED “TANKS”?
EVERYDAY HEROES
STEERED RIGHT
RAIL BRAVE
IT CAME FROM ABOVE
DIDN’T SEE THAT ONE COMING
BIONIC MEN
CONFESSIONS!
THAT’S AMORE?
STUPID CUPID
WHO’S SORRY NOW?
SLEEP THE NIGHT AWAY
OH, WHAT A TANGLED WEB SITE
TRADING PLACES
I WANT HALF!
METROPOLIS CONFIDENTIAL
A MINI-ENCYCLOPEDIA OF KRYPTONITE
EATING CONTESTS TO AVOID
CRANBERRY SAUCE
HAGGIS
RAMEN NOODLES
CHILI SPAGHETTI
PICKLED BEEF TONGUE (WHOLE)
BUTTER (¼-pound sticks)
HARD-BOILED EGGS
PICKLED JALAPEÑO PEPPERS
THE FIRST TRAIN ROBBERS
SOMETHING NEW
END OF THE LINE
TITANIC, STARRING MACAULAY CULKIN
DRIVING MISS DAISY, STARRING LUCILLE BALL
TITANIC, STARRING MACAULAY CULKIN
CHARLIE’S ANGELS, STARRING ANGELINA JOLIE
GREASE, STARRING HARRY REEMS
THE CROW, STARRING CHRISTIAN SLATER
FORREST GUMP, STARRING DAVE CHAPPELLE
THRASHINGS
HORSE RACING
BASKETBALL
SOCCER
OLYMPIC HOCKEY
GOLF
DID YOU EVER NOTICE…
THREE AMAZING AFRICAN TREES
THE BIG BAOBAB
THE MIRACLE TREE
THE TREE OF TÉNÉRÉ
OFFICIAL STATE BUSINESS
NUMBERED FACTS
THE GREAT RACE, PART I
GET A HORSE
MY CAR’S BETTER THAN YOURS
GENTLEMEN, START YOUR ENGINES
THEY’RE OFF!
TAKING THE LEAD
THE BEIJING TEA SCAM (AND OTHER CONS)
IRONIC, ISN’T IT?
DINGLES AND BEEF
UP IN A DOWN ECONOMY
RANDOM BITS ON ’70s HITS
DOWN THE HATCH!
DO-IT-YOURSELF DISASTERS
KITCHEN Q&A
What is “freezer burn”? Is it bad for you?
What’s the reason for boiling live lobsters?
Why do they put wax (or whatever that stuff is) on cucumbers?
Is it true that you have to cook pork until it’s well done?
There’s mold on my cheese. Can I eat it anyway?
Is that red juice oozing from the roast beef actually blood?
WHAT A CONCEPT!
EVACUATE NOW!
DUNKIRK, FRANCE
MISSISSAUGA, ONTARIO
THE SS REPUBLIC
PRIPYAT, UKRAINE
UNCLE JOHN’S STALL OF FAME
SO, WHERE ARE THEY?
FERMI’S PARADOX
LOW PRIORITY
A CONVENIENT SPACEGOAT
SILENT TREATMENT
FUNERAL MISHAPS
HE LOOKS TERRIBLE IN THAT (LAW)SU IT
DO NOT SPEAK ILL OF THE DEAD
BAD MONKEY
UNITED IN DEATH
DEATH AT A FUNERAL
ROBOTS IN THE NEWS
BUG-BOT
SCIENCE-BOT
BARTENDER-BOT
LIFTER-BOT
PET-BOT
TEACHER-BOT
RECYCLE-BOT
PSEUDOCIDAL TENDENCIES
DER FARTENFÜHRER
THE LEADER
OLD MAN
DIAGNOSES
THE CURE THAT ILLS
GUT FEELING
STILL FARTIN’
CHEST HAIR: $7 MILLION
THE SCAR POLICY
FAME…
…AND FORTUNE
THE 49TH STATE
BACKGROUND
DUMB CROOKS
EGG ON HIS FACE
TAKE THE MONEY AND (DON’T) RUN
KNIFE? CHECK. MASKS? CHECK. GAS? UH…
LIQUID COURAGE
HEY, I KNOW THAT GUY!
IT’S JUST POLITE TO LEAVE A NOTE
CUFF ’EM, DAN-O
INVENTED WORDS
FACTOID
AGNOSTIC
GROK
YES-MAN
REALTOR
GOBBLEDYGOOK
TOM SWIFTIES
THE BESTSELLING...
THE DIGITAL CAMERA REVOLUTION, PART I
A DEVELOPING STORY
SENSOR SHIP
THE KODAK DIGITAL TOASTER
GOING COMMERCIAL
TAKING OVER
AERO-NUTS
LOADED
CHANNEL SURFING
I’M AMERICAN, AND EUROPEAN
EPILOGUE
HIS LOUSY HIGHNESS
HEBREW
SPUN-OUT SPIN-OFFS
DOUGH NUTS
A ROYAL MESS
ALL IN THE FAMILY
ROYAL DISASTERS
MAD MEN
VICTORIA’S SECRET
THE WACKY WINDSORS
SCAT-R-US
WATER WORDS
DUMB JOCKS
FOUNDING FATHERS
JOSEPH PILATES
ROBERT MONDAVI
AH BING
RUDOLPH HASS
A REAL-LIFE GHOST STORY, PART I
DOCTOR WHO?
THIS OLD HOUSE
YOU ARE BEING WATCHED
RING RING
RICE IS NICE
RICE TO SEE YOU
HOW DOES RICE GROW?
KNOW YOUR RICE
RICE FACTS
UNCLE JOHN’S PAGE OF LISTS
THE WALK OF LIFE
JOHN STEWART (1747–1822)
WILLIAM WORDSWORTH (1770–1850)
CAPTAIN BARCLAY (1779–1854)
PHYLLIS PEARSALL (1906–1996)
PLENNIE L. WINGO (1895–1993)
FLUBBED HEADLINES
NATURAL GAS REPORT
POLICE LOG
IN A GALAXY FART, FART AWAY
A WASTED PAGE
STRANGE LAWSUITS
NAME THAT FABRIC
TWEED
GINGHAM
POLYESTER
RAYON
CORDUROY
SPANDEX
THE FUTURE… ACCORDING TO SCI-FI MOVIES
DIRTY AIR & BRAIN BUCKETS
OLD MAN RIVERS
MISSISSIPPI
THAMES
NILE
YANGTZE
AMAZON
DANUBE
QUIT WHILE YOU’RE AHEAD
ARTHUR RIMBAUD
JIM BROWN
KIM NOVAK
TOM LEHRER
ART BELL
IT A GRIL!
FAST FOOD
A SPORTS CAR IS BORN
THINKING SMALL
BUY AMERICAN
TOP SECRET
THE ROADSTER FINDS A HOME…
…AND A NAME
WHAT A DOLL!
A LAUGHING MATTER
FADS
BUTTON BEANIES
MEDLEYS
HYPERCOLOR
ZIMA
THE OBITS
TAIWAN’S #2 RESTAURANT
POO-BOT
GENIUS AT WORK
LOOKS FAMILIAR
IT GETS WORSE
BODILY FLUIDS
A WORD OF ADVICE
“MAKE MY DAY”
LOST AND FOUND: THE CLOUD PEOPLE OF PERU
ILLUMINATING DISCOVERY
DISAPPEARING ACT
RAIDERS OF THE LOST PEOPLES
THE SKINNY
MUSIC…WITHOUT THE MUSIC INDUSTRY
KALASHNIKOV PAT & THE HELICOPTER JAILBREAKS
BELLE GUNNESS: THE TERROR OF LA PORTE
THE DISCOVERY
BACKGROUND
MORE SUSPICIONS
NOT WELL SUITED
LAMPHERE
THE WOMAN IN THE BASEMENT
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!
THE AFTERMATH
UPDATE
HOW TO DO THINGS
HOW TO PICK A GOOD COMPUTER PASSWORD
HOW TO JUMP-START A CAR
HOW TO BOIL AN EGG
HOW TO WRITE A THANK-YOU NOTE
HOW TO TELL IF A STEAK IS COOKED
ANTARCTIC JARGON
INDIANA BASKETBALL: THE “MILAN MIRACLE”
THE CHURCH OF BASKETBALL
THE MIRACLE
CAT AND MOUSE
STAR QUALITY
WAITING IN THE WINGS
THE KING OF AUCTIONS
THE POTTY POLLS
GOING OUT
ELECTRIC COMPANY
YOU’VE GOT B-MAIL
POT PEEVES
CREATURE COMFORTS
CUBISM
BUSINESS SHORTS
WEIRD CANADA
THE PUNCH WAS TOO PUNCHY
POT HEAD
AN ANGRY LITTLE BOOGAARD
JUST FOR KICKS
IT USUALLY TASTES BETTER
A VERY EXPENSIVE PENNY
PRANKSTERS
FAKE PROPOSAL
FAKE RESTAURANT
FAKE BEST BUY
FAKE TORCH
CHILDREN’S BOOKS
THE COLLOQUY
THE DISTICHS OF CATO
THE BOOK OF THE KNIGHT OF THE TOWER
A TOKEN FOR CHILDREN
TOMMY THUMB’S PRETTY SONG BOOK
A LITTLE PRETTY POCKET BOOK
NAME GAME
A SHAGGY DOG STORY
AMERICAN CHEESES
TILLAMOOK CHEDDAR
MONTEREY JACK
MAYTAG BLUE
LIEDERKRANZ
SOCIAL NOTWORK
OBSCURE MONSTERS
AFTER THE OLYMPICS
FACTS THAT CUT THE...
LIFE IMITATES ART
RANDOM BITS ON ’80s HITS
EVERYDAY HEROES
NEITHER RAIN, NOR SLEET, NOR…FIRE!
BUS DRIVER BOY
READ YOUR MOLE-O-SCOPE
LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
YOUR FACE
YOUR BODY
HORSE MYSTERIES
THE CASE OF THE BRISBANE BATS
THE CASE OF THE SUDDEN SWELLING
THE CASE OF THE FALLEN FOALS
THE CASE OF THE EL PASO PUNCTURES
THE GARBAGE PROJECT
TRASHAEOLOGY
DIGGING IN
THE GARBAGE SYNDROME
FIRST PRINCIPLE…OF WEIRD BEHAVIOR
ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO PRINT
GARBAGE: THE FINAL FRONTIER
SMELLS FUNNY
BUT WOULD YOU WANT TO LIVE THERE?
COOKING WITH JULIA
THE DIGITAL CAMERA REVOLUTION, PART II
TEAMING UP
IT’S A SNAP
FROM THE FIELD
JUMPING SHIP
GOING, GOING, GONE
TOPSY-TURVY
JUST PLANE WEIRD
NUDE ATTITUDE
GOOD LUCK!
SHE’LL HAVE THE RIBS
NO MEALS, NO PEANUTS, AND YOU HAVE TO PUSH
DON’T MAKE ME TURN THIS PLANE AROUND
OUTTA HERE
CABIN PRESSURE
DON’T HAVE A COW
ROAD TRIPPING
PEE-PSI COLA
BIG, OLD, BUSY BERTHA
MOOOVE OVER
MAGNETIC PERSONALITIES
HOLY COW
FAIR THEE WELL
FORGOTTEN FIRSTS
SODA POPPED
I LOST ON JEOPARDY!
A WINNING PHRASE ORIGIN
OOPS!
WHEN IS A DEATHBED NOT A DEATHBED?
WHEN IS AN APOSTLE NOT AN APOSTLE?
I’M NOT DEAD YET
IT BROKE THE SPELL-CHECKER
GRAM CRACKERS
BLACK (HUMOR) FOREST
BIG VIDEO TREASURES
LITTLE VIDEO TREASURES
THE GREAT MOON HOAX
A WALK ON THE MOON
EXPERTS AGREE
MOON BATS
BACK TO EARTH
EPILOGUE
CHEATING DEATH
HELLO, I MUST BE GOING
FATHER KNOWS BEST
THE HITS JUST KEEP COMIN’
HEAD CASE
PLANE AMAZING
THE WRONG MEANING
PERUSE
BLATANT
DISINTERESTED
PLUS
PRESENTLY
RETICENT
FORTUITOUS
ANXIOUS
PRISTINE
DAWN
FOOL’S GOLD
IT REALLY SUCKS!
TESTING, TESTING…
GOLD FEVER
YOUR GOLD SMELLS FISHY
CREATIVE SENTENCING
TURNING THE PAGE
NOT SO CROSS
PUTTING THE “PAIN” IN PAINESVILLE
HURRICAN’T
BACKSEAT HURLER
HOW MANILOW CAN YOU GO?
PEOPLE STUFF FOR DOGS
WHEN HARRY MET BESSIE
GO, ARTICHOKES!
FABULOUS FLOP: THE GYROJET
THINKING SMALL
BULLET BASICS
ROCKET SCIENCE
THE GUN OF THE FUTURE
AND NOW THE FINE PRINT
MORE BAD NEWS
WHAT A LOAD
THANKS, BUT…
GOODBYE, HOLLYWOOD
GRACE KELLY
KAL PENN
GLENDA JACKSON
BOBBY SHERMAN
ANDREA THOMPSON
DOLORES HART
WORST TEAMS EVER
WORST HOCKEY TEAM
WORST FOOTBALL TEAM
WORST BASKETBALL TEAM
WORST COLLEGE FOOTBALL TEAM
WORST MODERN BASEBALL TEAM
WORST COLLEGE BASKETBALL TEAM
WORST OVERALL PRO SPORTS TEAM
MUSHROOM READER
YOU CALL THAT ART?
ODD BOOKS
A TURKEY IN BOSTON
AN ALLIGATOR IN THE GARAGE
A BEAR IN THE MEDIAN
A TURKEY IN BOSTON
A BIRD ON THE HEAD
A BOAR IN THE BACKYARD
A FISH IN THE WIRES
IT’S PHOSPHORIFIC!
MELLOW YELLOW
BLUE GENIE
KRAFT’S WORK
FINALLY…
GOVERN-MENTAL
LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP
STOP—IN THE NAME OF THE LAW
THE YOLK’S ON HIM
PELOSI-ROLL’D
SPACE WAR
YOU MUST BE DREAMING
TWUNGE TISTERS
THE INVENTIONS OF PROFESSOR LUCIFER GORGONZOLA BUTTS
A MAN CALLED RUBE
THE GOLDBERG VARIATIONS
THE “AUTOMATIC” BACK-SCRATCHER
GETTING AN OLIVE OUT OF A BOTTLE
SHARPENING A PENCIL
UNHEARD ALBUMS
MC HAMMER, TOO TIGHT
PRINCE & THE REVOLUTION, DREAM FACTORY
NEIL YOUNG, HOMEGROWN
BEASTIE BOYS, WHITE HOUSE
CRUNCHY LOGGS
USED COWS FOR SALE
Q&A: ASK THE EXPERTS
WRONG TURN AT ALBUQUERQUE?
FOR LOVE OF THE GAME
THE YELLOW RIVER GOT ITS NAME FROM I.P. FREELY
HAIR IT IS
HAIR IT ISN’T
CHECK IT OUT
IT’S A WEIRD, WEIRD WORLD
WON’T GIVE YOU THE TIME OF DAY
WITH FRIENDS LIKE THESE…
AT LEAST HE CAN’T COMPLAIN ABOUT THE NOISE
GET YOUR GOAT
END OF THE ROAD
THE GREAT RACE, PART II
ENTLEMEN, RESTART YOUR ENGINES
HUMAN OBSTACLES
ITALIAN TRAGEDY
AND THE WINNER IS…
A NEW ERA BEGINS
POSTSCRIPT
“ALWAYS”…OR “NEVER”?
HOBBS STRIKES OUT
THE NATURAL (1984)
PRETTY WOMAN (1990)
CLERKS (1994)
FIRST BLOOD (1982)
THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY (1998)
TOILET TECH: BABY EDITION
THE BABYKEEPER
THE TUMMYTUB
THE NITE TRAIN’R
THE WEEBLOCK
3-D TV
HELP ME, OBI-WAN!
STEREOSCOPE 3-D
RED-GREEN ANAGLYPH
POLARIZED-LENS 3-D
PULFRICH-EFFECT 3-D
COLORCODE (AMBER-BLUE ANAGLYPH)
3-D TV WITHOUT GLASSES?
HOLOGRAPHIC TV
UNCLE JOHN HELPS OUT AROUND THE HOUSE
INDIANA BASKETBALL: THE CRISPUS ATTUCKS TIGERS
COLOR LINE
BEST BEHAVIOR
NEW ATTITUDE
THE BIG TIME
NEVER AGAIN
THE FAKE NEWS NETWORK
BROADCAST BLUES
FROM THE WIRE
MONEY FOR NOTHIN’
IS THIS EVEN LEGAL?
THE NEWS-VERTISING AGE
URBAN LEGENDS
GARDY LOO!
WOULD YOU BELIEVE…
UNCLE JOHN’S PAGE OF LISTS
TRADING PAINT & SPRING RUBBER
BEHIND THE (MOB) HITS
ARNOLD “THE BRAIN” ROTHSTEIN
ARTHUR “DUTCH SCHULTZ” FLEGENHEIMER
“JOE THE BOSS” MASSERIA
JOSEPH “CRAZY JOEY” GALLO
LITTLE THINGS MEAN A LOT
ONE INCH
A DATA-ENTRY ERROR
A MOIST SENSOR
A SOFTWARE GLITCH
A KEY AND A PAIR OF BINOCULARS
DYING WORDS
USE IT OR LOSE IT
THE CADUCITY LIST
BATHROOM NEWS
SEAT-SEEKING MISSILE
DEARLY DE-POTTED
RING AROUND THE DRAIN
TASTELESS TOYS
TAP, TAP, TAP!
BACKGROUND
GRIP
SPOKESTHINGIES
MAVIS BEACON
THE GEICO CAVEMEN
THE NAUGA
JACK
MEET HITLER’S DOCTOR
STRANGE BEDFELLOWS
DOC MEDIOC–RITY
“MADE” IN BULGARIA
PRIMARY PHYSICIAN
HEAVEN SCENT
TAKE THIS…AND THIS…AND THIS
THE ONE-TWO PUNCH
DER GUINEA PIG
THE PLOT THICKENS
VERY QUIZ-LIKE
THE PROVERBIAL TRUTH
IT (PROBABLY) WON’T KILL YOU TO EAT…
IRONIC, ISN’T IT?
DE-PROGRAMMED
WIPING THE SLATE CLEAN
FAMILY ISSUES
STONE COLD DEAD
KURBY AND KRYSTAL GO TO WHITE CASTLE
SWEET IRONY
CUTTING REMARK
HAMBURGLAR
ADVENTUROUS SPIRITS
DUMB CROOKS: SILLY WEAPONS UNIT
THE POTTY POLLS, PT. II
YOUR TOOTHBRUSH AND YOU
CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO…IMPOSSIBLE
IN THE SHOWER
GOING GREEN
AROUND THE WORLD
ROCK ’N’ ROLL DIARY
CLASS ACTS
THE CORVETTE HITS THE ROAD
THE PARTS BIN SPECIAL
BELLE OF THE BALL
READY OR NOT
START YOUR ENGINES
CORVETTE EMPTOR
NO LOCKOUTS
(FIBER)GLASS HOUSES
THANKS…BUT NO THANKS
THUNDERSTRUCK
CAN’T QUIT NOW
RUSSELL’S RUMINATIONS
SAME CO.
WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION
BLACKWATER WORLDWIDE
PHILLIP MORRIS
DIEBOLD
GMAC FINANCIAL SERVICES
THE HISTORY OF JUDO
NINETY-POUND WEAKLING
JU-JISTORY
I GENTLE YOU TO DEATH!
RANK AND RE-FILE
BELT HIM!
POLI-TALKS
RANDOM ORIGINS
LICENSE PLATES
THE INFINITY SYMBOL
THE PERIODIC TABLE OF ELEMENTS
THE TAPE MEASURE
SUDOKU
PSEUDOCIDAL TENDENCIES
DECENT PROPOSALS
THE SOCIETY FOR THE COALITION OF ORGANIZATIONS AND ASSOCIATIONS
MOMENTS OF CANDOR
(NOT) COMING TO A THEATER NEAR YOU
BATMAN: YEAR ONE (2003)
AMERICAN IDIOT (2006)
KING KONG VS. FRANKENSTEIN (1962)
STRAWBERRY FIELDS FOREVER (1987)
THE 50TH STATE
BACKGROUND
A REAL-LIFE GHOST STORY, PART II
WHO’S THERE?
FROM BED TO WORSE
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
SOMETHING IN THE AIR
WHAT’S UP, DOC?
DÉJÀ VIEW
THE FIRST AMERICAN…
PENITENTIARY
NATIVE-BORN GORILLA
BOOK
CRICKET MATCH
BABY BOOM
WINE
KOREAN
PUBLICLY FUNDED ART PROJECT
…CAR RACE
WHY ARE THEY CALLED “GREEN HORN S” ?
PORTA-NEWS
TANGLED UP IN EWW!
SHOW SOME RESPECT
NOWHERE TO RUN, NOWHERE TO HIDE
THE MAN WHO WOULD NOT DIE
THE NEFARIOUS SCHEME
A TOUGH CONSTITUTION
HE LIVES!
CAUGHT!
OOPS!
THE TWEETER AND THE BRANCH
GET A GRIP
ARREST ME, WILL YOU? BWA HA HA HA!
CELLO WHAT?
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
HEADING SOUTH
BODY OF EVIDENCE
OH, NUTS
LIFE IMITATES ART
ENGLAND’S ROSWELL
(SOMEWHAT) CLOSE ENCOUNTER
MAKING AN IMPRESSION
DÉJÀ VIEW
WITH THEIR OWN EYES
ON PAPER
EXTRAORDINARY
PRIMETIME PROVERBS
ON TRUTH
ON ADVERTISING
ON CHURCH
ON DISAPPOINTMENT
ON PAIN
ON BEING YOURSELF
ON ART
ON INTELLIGENCE
ON TELEVISION
ON GOING TO WORK
ON CRIMINAL JUSTICE
ON EGO
ON BELIEF
OLD TWO-TOES
BEAR THIS IN MIND
GRAHAM CRACKER
WELSH RAREBIT
FRENCH FRY
EXERCISE YOUR BRAIN
THE DIGITAL CAMERA REVOLUTION, PART III
JUST POINT…AND SHOOT!
PROUD PAPA
A WORLD OF PAPARAZZI
OVERSATURATION
EYES OF THE WORLD
THEME CRUISE
WEST COAST GROOVE CRUISE
SEPTEMBER MORN CRUISE
CLOTHING-OPTIONAL HOMECOMING CRUISE
FRIENDS OF ABBOTT AND COSTELLO
SPYCRUISE
MOTORCYCLE CRUISE
THE BEST OF PUBLIC BROADCASTING CRUISE
STAR TREK ADVENTURE CRUISE
BEHIND THE HITS
THE NEW INDIAN WARS
RESURGENCE
BLIND SPEED DEMONS
KEN MOSS (Automobile—solo)
MIKE NEWMAN (Automobile—solo)
LUC COSTERMANS (Automobile)
STEVE CUNNINGHAM (Speedboat)
BILLY “THE WHIZZ” BAXTER (Motorcycle—solo)
GRAHAM “G-FORCE” HICKS (All-Terrain Vehicle)
READ YOUR MOLE-O-SCOPE
YOUR LEGS AND FEET
YOUR HANDS AND ARMS
THE PANTS SUIT
SUITING UP
A PRESSING MATTER
CLASSLESS ACTION
ALL RISE
JUDGING THE JUDGE
THE VERDICT
AFTERMATH
CAUTION: SLOW CHILDREN
SHE’S GOT GAME
ON A ROLL
WATERING HOLE
MO MONEY, MO PROBLEMS
THE WORLD’S WORST ACCIDENT
RADIOACTIVE WIND
DON’T PANIC!
NUCLEAR POWER 101
CONTROL FREAKS
THE CHINA SYNDROME
COOL IT
WHAT NOT TO DO
UH-OH…
THE BATTLE OF CHERNOBYL
THE PEACEFUL ATOM?
LOST CONTINENT
PLATO’S RETREAT
BANANA FLOAT
STEINER’S WAY
MUCKING ABOUT
SO, WHERE IS IT?
THE NATURAL GAS REPORT
BOMBED OUT
AIR APPARENT
A FINE EXAMPLE
LAW AND ODOR
AMAZING COINCIDENCES
CELEBRITY GOSSIP
LEC BALDWIN
BOB DYLAN
JENNIFER ANISTON
SARAH JESSICA PARKER
MICK JAGGER
KEVIN BACON
KATHARINE HEPBURN
LINDSAY LOHAN
BRAD PITT
ALEX TREBEK
GREED: THE LOST MASTERPIECE
THE GERMAN INVASION
ARTISTIC VISION
KEEPING IT REAL
A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT
BIG BUSINESS
CUT IT OUT
REEL TRAGEDY
IN PIECES
INDIANA BASKETBALL: OSCAR ROBERTSON
THE CHANGING OF THE GUARD
THAT CHAMPIONSHIP SEASON
ROLLING THUNDER
THE REAL HOOSIERS
OVERTIME
GOURMET FOOD: HUMBLE ORIGINS
LOBSTER
FOIE GRAS
OYSTERS
SNAILS
THE MARK OF ZORA
SKIN DEEP
DREAM JOB
A TOUGH FIT
THE RIGHT MAN FOR THE JOB
ONE STEP AT A TIME
A RACY REPUTATION
THE “OLD GLORY” STORY
YOUNG GLORY
FLAG OF OUR ENEMIES
OLD BLANKETY
FAKE-LORE
MORE COMMONLY MISUSED WORDS
RANDOM BITS ON ’90s HITS
THE PORTMANTEAU MOVIE QUIZ
DER FARTENFÜHRER, PT. III
BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD
GOOOOOOOOOD MORNING!
THANK YOU SIR, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER
THE DRUG CULTURE
SIDE EFFECTS
NO SURRENDER
MIND…AND BODY
SO LONG
LAST GASP
PHRASE ORIGINS
DRAWING ROOM
JERKWATER TOWN
BEAR HUG
IT’S A WEIRD, WEIRD CRIME
IF CONVICTED, HE WILL A-PEEL
BED RIDDEN
SMALL CRIMES DIVISION
KIDNEY REMOVAL
GETTING TANKED
STOOL SAMPLE
SEE YOU LATER, NAVIGATOR
BATTLE FOR POSITION
LOST AND FOUND
COUNTERATTACK
REGROUP AND TRY AGAIN
SORE WINNERS
THE NEW DEAL
CRASH AND BURN
STING OF THE STING RAY
BORN AGAIN
HIGH WATERMARK
HARLEY’S GHOST
MIDDLEMAN
FROM A LEMON, LEMONADE
SHARK ATTACK
LOSING ITS STING
DROP IN FOR A VISIT SOMETIME
TALES FROM THE MORGUE
SURF’S UP!
HE’E NALU
WALKING ON WATER
WIPEOUT
CALIFORNIA DREAMIN’
BUSTIN’ SURFBOARDS
WAVE GOODBYE
RANDOM FACTS
THE PHYSICS OF SURFING
CATCH A WAVE
GET ON BOARD
HOW TO TELL IF YOU’VE BEEN ABDUCTED BY ALIENS
AT BEDTIME
ON THE ROAD
DURING THE DAY
PHYSICAL CHANGES
WHAT’S UP, DOC?
AFTER THE FACT
…DON’T LEAVE EARTH WITHOUT IT
THE LIFE AND TIMES OF JAR JAR BINKS
WE WAITED FOR THIS?
SUPPORTING CAST
A STAR IS TORN
THE FILMMAKERS STRIKE BACK
DEMOTED
ATTACK OF THE CLOWNS
A JARRING FUTURE
THE BROTHERS ROCKEFELLER
WITH GREAT POWER…
SON #1: JOHN D. ROCKEFELLER III (1906–78)
SON #2: NELSON ALDRICH ROCKEFELLER (1908–79)
SON #3: LAURANCE S. ROCKEFELLER (1910–2004)
SON #4: WINTHROP ROCKEFELLER (1912–73)
SON #5: DAVID ROCKEFELLER (1915–)
NET GAINS AND LOSSES
URBAN WILDLIFE
CROWDED HOUSE
THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD
OPTIONS
BIG CRITTERS
YOUR OWN NATURAL WILDERNESS AREA
OPPORTUNISTS
RANDOM BITS ON 2000s HITS
BELTS
GROANERS
RETURN TO CHERNOBYL
MELTDOWN!
SILENT SPRING
OPPOSING VIEWS
NOBODY WINS
THE BALLOON MAN
FROM DEPRESSION TO INFLATION
ESCAPING TO HIS LAB
AIR HEAD
BALLOONS FROM THE BUTCHER
A CAT KISS FOR LUCK
FOOTNOTE TO OBSCURITY
TALK TO THE BONES
BIOGRAPHY OF THE BONES
MEASURING THE PAST
PLANE SPEAKER
FACES AND PLACES
A NEW ERA
ENGLAND’S ROSWELL, PART II
NOT SO FAST
DUMB YANKEES
LARGER THAN (EXTRATERRESTRIAL) LIFE
SHINING A LIGHT ON THINGS
THE SKEPTIC
SEEING IS BELIEVING
MUCH ADO ABOUT…
BLIND DATE
A LIKELY STORY
“THE MAINTENANCE OF WORLD PEACE”
TALL TALES OF THE TOTEM POLE
HISTORY’S MYTH-STORIES
MYTHS AND ORIGINS
MINE’S BETTER THAN YOURS
THE FIGURES
SHAME ON YOU
ARTISTS AND THEIR TOOLS
TOTEM PRESERVATION
REACHING HIGHER
WHO’S LOW MAN ON THE TOTEM POLE?
FOLLOWING PROTOCOL
INTERNATIONAL INCIDENTS
WE’RE ON A MISSION
MANAGING THE WORLD’S MOST EXCLUSIVE HOTEL
THE GIFT UNIT
A BARREL OF GAFFES
THE DIGITAL CAMERA REVOLUTION, PART IV
THE DIGITAL DARKROOM
THE PHOTOSHOP EFFECT
PRESSED
A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING
NOW MUSEUM, NOW YOU DON’T
A PICTURE OF TOMORROW
FUSION
DOG TIRED! THE STORY OF THE IDITAROD
MUSH!
ALL-TERRAIN VEHICLES
THE DOGGY EXPRESS
GAME ON
GETTING ALL YOUR DOGS IN A ROW
POLE POSITION
AND THEY’RE OFF!
EQUIPMENT
THE RACERS
THE DOGS
THE FINISH LINE
THE MAKING OF ROCKY
MAN OF THE HOUR
EASY WRITER
CORN BRED
STARRING BURT REYNOLDS AS ROCKY
DOWNSIZING
YO, PERRY!
PINCHING PENNIES
KNOCKOUT
ENDLESS WISDOM
ANSWER PAGES
THE LAST PAGE
Copyright Page
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