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THE IDIOT
AUTHOR OF "COFFEE AND REPARTEE" "THE WATER GHOST, AND OTHERS" "THREE WEEKS IN POLITICS" ETC.
ILLUSTRATED
NEW YORK HARPER & BROTHERS PUBLISHERS 1895
Copyright, 1895, by Harper & Brothers
All rights reserved.
TO WILLIAM K. OTIS
CONTENTS
ILLUSTRATIONS
THE IDIOT
I
"THE NUISANCE OF HAVING TO PAY"
"SHE COULD NOT POSSIBLY GET ABOARD AGAIN"
II
"CERTAINLY. I ASKED FOR ANOTHER CUP"
"DEMANDS TICKETS FOR TWO"
III
"THEY ARE GIVEN TO REHEARSING AT ALL HOURS"
"'HA! HA! I HAVE HIM NOW!'"
IV
"HAS YOUR FRIEND COMPLETED HIS ARTICLE ON OLD JOKES?"
THEY DEPARTED
V
"YOU FISH ALL DAY, AND HAVE NO LUCK"
HE COULD BE HEARD THROWING THINGS ABOUT
VI
"HE WAS NOT MURDERED"
"SUPERINTENDENT SMITHERS HAS NOT ABSCONDED"
VII
THE INSPIRED BOARDER PAID HIS BILL
"I KNOW YOU CAN'T, BECAUSE IT ISN'T THERE"
VIII
"YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF HEARD IN SAN FRANCISCO"
THE PROPHETOGRAPH
IX
"I GRASPED IT IN MY TWO HANDS"
"PIANO-PLAYING ISN'T ALWAYS MUSIC"
X
"THE MOON ITSELF WILL BE USED"
"DECLINES TO BE RIDDEN"
XI
"THE BIBLIOMANIAC WOULD BE RAISING BULBS"
"DIDN'T KNOW ENOUGH TO CHOOSE HIS OWN FACE"
XII
"JANITORS HAVE TO BE SEEN TO"
"MY ELOQUENCE FLOATED UP THE AIR-SHAFT"
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