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Imperial Library
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Index
Preface
Note
Introduction
Part I. Students
Furries
The Entitlement Chronicles
Proclamation of Intent to Strangle
Dinosaurs vs. Jews
Rollers and Gumps
Enough to be Horrifying
The Giant, Writhing Petri Dish
A.D.D. a.k.a. The Get Out of Work Free Card
Can I Ask You A Question?
Thoughtful Gifts
The Spawn of Helicopter Parents
Classroom Exchanges
Odysseus is a Douchebag
You Are What You Wear
Let’s Smoke Some Meth
The Tipping Point
Valentine’s Day Surprise
A Wildlife Habitat Called Middle School
Brain Damage
From the Frontlines Pt. 1
Really Real Emailz: Student Edition
Part II. Parents
The Crazy Apple Doesn’t Fall Far from the Crazy Tree
No Sex on the Staircase
Attack Helicopter Parent
Mommy Issues
A Great Mystery
Parenting Disorder
Low Self-Esteem
A Racist Phase
I Deduct Points If I Don’t Like Your Face
Assault with a Hilarious Weapon
Juicy Fruit’s Mom
From the Frontlines Pt. 2
Really Real Emailz: Parent Edition
Part III. Administration
Protocol
A Bit of an Introvert
Three Strikes and You’re Still Not Out
Real World Scenarios
His Fucking Phone is of Utmost Importance
Flipping a Brick
Cause for Concern
Not a Team Player
What is this CCRAP?
Words of Wisdom (treat them like sacks of shit)
From the Frontlines Pt. 3
Really Real Emailz: Administrative Edition
Afterward
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