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Index
Cover
Praise for the Book
Title Page
Publisher’s Note
Contents
Acknowledgments
Introduction
A Book About Good Men
Who Wrote This Book?
What to Expect
What Happened to Mike and Amy?
Part 1: A Day in the Life of a Male Mind
1. The Most Important Thing to Men
“I Am My Responsibilities”
Putting Words to the Problem
“I Am My Status”
The Importance of Being Effective
It’s All About You
2l How Men View Women
Can Silence Be an Attempt at Effectiveness?
Yes, We Want to Sleep with You, But…
The Rule of Stoicism
Why We Need to Impress You
Our Love Is Different from Yours
3. The Expectation Shift
From Bad Boy to Altar Boy
“He Wasn’t That Way When I Met Him”
What Men Struggle With
Part 2: Why Men Just Don’t Make Sense Sometimes
4. The Male Way Is Sometimes the Most Useful Way
Why Men Are Intrepid Problem Solvers
Mangineering
Why Mangineering Is So Great…and So Challenging to Live With
5. The Male Way Is Sometimes the Least Useful Way
Why Men Dig the Hole Deeper and Deeper
Men’s Emotional Training
It Takes Two
Problem Solving Versus Problem Behavior
6. The “A” Word
An Intimidating Word
Reasons Not to Embrace Male Traits
Should You Change, or Should He?
Embracing the Other Side of the Coin
Part 3: How to Speak Manese
7. Break the Pattern, Not the Man
Spotting a Pattern
Giving Him a Way to Win
Changing the Pattern
As Challenging as 1-2-3
8. Behind the Scenes
The Stage Metaphor
Five Ways to Keep His Feelings Hidden
Eight Steps to Your Backstage Pass
Helping Your Partner Communicate
9. Relationship Quicksand
How to Prevent or Escape Relationship Quicksand
If There’s a Problem, Name It
Be Someone He Wants to Be Around
Respond to Primary Emotional Reactions
Create a Pattern Escape Hatch
Accept Peace Offerings
Don’t Assume He Understands
Rebuild Intimacy
Seek Couples Therapy
What About Nancy and Eric?
10. Good Things That Good Men Bring to Relationships
What Makes Good Men Good at Relationships
The Best of Both
Epilogue
What Men Want Women to Know About Communication
What Men Wish Women Understood
Advice from Men to Women
What Men Love About Women
References
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