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Imperial Library
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Index
Cover
Dedication
Part One
Chapter 1: Again with the Nazi Getup?
Chapter 2: Living the Dream
Chapter 3: Like a Common Criminal
Chapter 4: Some of My Best Friends Are Jewish
Chapter 5: Just Give Up. I Have
Chapter 6: Just a Cottage in the Country
Chapter 7: Vodka and Tampax: A Match Made in Greenwich
Chapter 8: Happy to Sip and Not to See
Chapter 9: My Romantic Relationship
Chapter 10: The Suburbs Make You Fat
Chapter 11: Mom’s Night Out
Chapter 12: No Good Deed
Chapter 13: Celebrities Are Fickle and Oftentimes Stupid
Part Two
Chapter 14: Viewing of the New German Au Pair
Chapter 15: Exactly Like Rehab, Only Different
Chapter 16: Just a Friend and a Blue Glitter Condom
Chapter 17: Pinterest’s Mom of the Year
Chapter 18: Road Trip
Chapter 19: America Wants to Forgive You
Chapter 20: Make It Stop
Chapter 21: Munching Xanax Like Gumballs
Chapter 22: Not the Only One Who Can Google
Chapter 23: Home to the Custom-Fit Vagina
Chapter 24: The Tides Are Turning and the Tears Are Terrific
Chapter 25: The Cocaine of the Kindergarten Set
Chapter 26: The Thousand-Dollar Throw
Chapter 27: The Dalai Lama of Blackmail
Chapter 28: One Little Ambien
Chapter 29: Willing to Do Whatever It Takes
Chapter 30: The Girl Has Balls
Chapter 31: Goodbye Wheatgrass, Hello Sarcasm
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Copyright
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