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Index
Cover Dedication Part One
Chapter 1: Again with the Nazi Getup? Chapter 2: Living the Dream Chapter 3: Like a Common Criminal Chapter 4: Some of My Best Friends Are Jewish Chapter 5: Just Give Up. I Have Chapter 6: Just a Cottage in the Country Chapter 7: Vodka and Tampax: A Match Made in Greenwich Chapter 8: Happy to Sip and Not to See Chapter 9: My Romantic Relationship Chapter 10: The Suburbs Make You Fat Chapter 11: Mom’s Night Out Chapter 12: No Good Deed Chapter 13: Celebrities Are Fickle and Oftentimes Stupid
Part Two
Chapter 14: Viewing of the New German Au Pair Chapter 15: Exactly Like Rehab, Only Different Chapter 16: Just a Friend and a Blue Glitter Condom Chapter 17: Pinterest’s Mom of the Year Chapter 18: Road Trip Chapter 19: America Wants to Forgive You Chapter 20: Make It Stop Chapter 21: Munching Xanax Like Gumballs Chapter 22: Not the Only One Who Can Google Chapter 23: Home to the Custom-Fit Vagina Chapter 24: The Tides Are Turning and the Tears Are Terrific Chapter 25: The Cocaine of the Kindergarten Set Chapter 26: The Thousand-Dollar Throw Chapter 27: The Dalai Lama of Blackmail Chapter 28: One Little Ambien Chapter 29: Willing to Do Whatever It Takes Chapter 30: The Girl Has Balls Chapter 31: Goodbye Wheatgrass, Hello Sarcasm
Acknowledgments About the Author Copyright
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