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Index
Dramatis Personae
Author’s Note
Prologue
I. The Tunnel Builders
Mrs. American Gothic
No Skin, off Gram’s Ass
The Naughty Altar Boy
II. Follow the Smudges
Catch the Devil by His Tail
Marking Territory
Doing My Religious Business
Deals with God and Boyfriend
III. A Church to be Proud Of
Channeling James Earl Jones
Three Hale Marys
Thanks Be to the Pedophiles
Vatican to the Rescue
IV. Love J2P2
Happy Birthday
Calculating the Odds
The Cardinal Spellman School
The Rules
Make Me Believe That You Believe
V. Lives of the Saints
Beheadings, Burnings, and Other Children’s Literature
Martyr from the Mothballs
Stalking the Archbishop
What I Learned about Archbishop Sean on My Summer Vacation
Love Letters to the Archbishop
Advanced Thinking
God Hates Fats
VI. Land(s) of the Misfit Tops
Cruising for Catholics
Dignity
Taking Heart
Womenpriests: Invasion of the Compound Nouns
VII. God Bless Ireland
Wookie Prayers
Tabernacle Sports
Captain of the Team
Lector Boot Camp
VIII. A Habit Corse Than porn
Give Us This Day Our Daily YouTube
Picasso Paints Province-town
GLBT Spirituality Redux: The Bishop’s Blessing
Captain Handsome Is My Copilot
IX. The Godfather
How to Read Just Right
Improbable Friendship
The Godfather
The Theology of Baldness
This Is Not about You
X. Excommunications ‘R’ us
The Vatican Paperwork-Reduction Program
A Short History of Excommunication
Walking the Excommunication Walk
Three Easy Steps to Excommunication
A Lovely Day for an Excommunication
XI. Living on the Liturgical Edge
The Good Queer
Tuesdays with Anthony
Stealing the Sacred Heart
XII. The Empire Strikes Back
Speaking of Relics
Marauding Lesbians Snatch Boston’s Children News Flash
How Great the God That Made an Asshole Like You
Unintended Consequences
What We Look Like
That Flushing Sound Is Charity Going Straight down the Drain
XIII. The Super Colon and the Scandal of Faith
The Success of Snitchery
Less Holy
Selling Holy Rocks
The Cock Crowed for the Third Time
Dreaming Julia Roberts
Simple Words with a Dozen Syllables
XIV. Confessions of a Crossooer
Confessions of a Crossover
Once You Go Black
United Church of Vegetables
DisCouraged
Unchurching
XV. Gay Voices before Mine
The Celestial Skywriter
At the Feet of My Forebears: A Short History of Gay Catholics
Hail, Holy Queen
Milk and Cookies
Need a Catholic Priest? Ask the Lesbian Jew
Back-Room Heroes
Spiritual Flamer
XVI. Acts of the (Gay) apostles
What Do You Do to Get in the Mood?
Pomfret’s Lives of the Well-intentioned, Reasonably Courageous, Everyday Clerics
Gay Voices
Back in the Saddle
Amazing Grace and Leftover Miracles
XVII. I See Broken People Everywhere
Gay People 1, Cardinal Sean 0
Why Catholic? (Part 1)
Now and at. the Hour of Our Death
Re-Membering
Why Catholic? (Part 2)
False Starts and Fake Boobs: A Prayer
XVIII. Last Chance for Love
Meanwhile, Back at the Shrine
Why Catholic? (Part 3)
Last Chance for Love
Why Catholic? (Part 4)
And So What?
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
Notes
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