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Imperial Library
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Dedication
Contents
I haven’t spent three hours online designing my wedding to nobody
(I have. More than once. Oh god.)
I have never been the ringleader of a major crime operation
(I was. For one glorious month, I was.)
I was really emotionally scarred by my abortion
(Yeah, um, not really. Sorry.)
I’ve only had one abortion
(Two. I’ve had two.)
I will never pose naked
(Whoops.)
I did everything I could to help my sisters
(I didn’t.)
I haven’t had bad sex since I promised myself I wouldn’t put up with it
(Ha.)
I was very briefly possessed by the Devil
(Look, I probably wasn’t, but I don’t think this one can be verified either way.)
I’ll never end up with someone like my dad
(I was in it before I even realised what was happening.)
I’ve never hoped that my mum would die
(I have. Recently.)
When I’m home alone, I always look sexy and never do anything weird
(*laughs uproariously*)
I don’t believe anything psychics say
(I didn’t, until something crazy happened.)
(And I know everyone says that their psychic story is crazy, but this was crazy.)
I’m okay
(The biggest lie I’ve ever told.)
Acknowledgements
Resources
About the Author
Praise
Copyright
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