[Darwin Awards 04] • ntelligent Design by Northcutt, Wendy -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Cover Also by Wendy Northcutt Title Copyright Dedication Epigraph Contents Introduction

What, Me Worry? Why There Are Darwin Awards The Rules

Reproductive Dead End Excellence Self-selection Maturity Veracity

The Categories

Darwin Awards Honorable Mentions Personal Accounts

Picking the Winners History of the Darwin Awards Survival of the Fittest Origin of the Novel Species Noodleous doubleous : Evidence for Intelligent Design Cleaning the Gene Pool

CHAPTER 1 Vehicles

Discussion: AIDS, Bubonic Plague, and Human Evolution Darwin Award: Daring Feet Darwin Award: Rutting Contest Darwin Award: 4-1-0 Club Darwin Award: Auto Blotto Darwin Award: Stepping Out Darwin Award: The Nuisance of Seat Belts Darwin Award: Terminal Creativity Darwin Award: Jack Up Darwin Award: Tree vs. Man Darwin Award: Tunnel Vision Darwin Award: Dope on a Rope Darwin Award: Death Valley Daze Darwin Award: Tree Hard, Head Empty Darwin Award: Heck on Wheels Darwin Award: Self-Demolition Derby Darwin Award: Asphalt Tattoo Honorable Mention: Overheated Engine Honorable Mention: Clean Brake Honorable Mention: Happy Camper Honorable Mention: Picture-Perfect Cop Honorable Mention: New Hog Personal Account: Blast from the Past Personal Account: Brake Care Personal Account: Wild Wheelchair Ride

CHAPTER 2 Water

Discussion: Aquatic Apes Are People, Too! Darwin Award: Snowmoboater Darwin Award: Second Time’s the Charm Darwin Award: Man Drowns in Kitchen Sink Darwin Award: Tide Waits for No Man Darwin Award: Cold Call Darwin Award: Bottom of the Barrel Darwin Award: Hurricane Blumpkin Darwin Award: A Closer Look at Victoria Falls Honorable Mention: Catching the Boat Honorable Mention: Go with the Floe Personal Account: Do-It-Yourself Bass Boat

CHAPTER 3 Women

Discussion: Love Bites Darwin Award: Military Intelligence Darwin Award: Mile High Club Failure Darwin Award: Ultimate Quest for Airtime Darwin Award: Right Over the Dam Darwin Award: Love Struck Darwin Award: Hurricane News Junkie Darwin Award: Dying for a Ciggie Darwin Award: Off-Road Driving Darwin Award: What I Can Still Do Honorable Mention: A Fast Escape Personal Account: Gas Spill Personal Account: Stupid Car Personal Account: Air Freshener

CHAPTER 4 Animals

Discussion: “Brother, Can You Spare a Banana?” Darwin Award: Mining for Elephants Darwin Award: Snake Man Darwin Award: Elephant Tail Darwin Award: “Hazard Befell Him” Darwin Award: Chicken to Go Darwin Award: A Honey of a Buzz Honorable Mention: Kills Bugs Dead Honorable Mention: Parrot Hunter Honorable Mention: Eel Enema Honorable Mention: Warm Snakes Honorable Mention: Wades with Sharks Personal Account: Bufo marinus Personal Account: Dodging the Draft Horse Personal Account: Watch Where You’re Going Personal Account: Shortcut Cut Short

CHAPTER 5 Alcohol

Discussion: Endogenous Retroviruses and Evolution Darwin Award: Homemade Wine Darwin Award: Freeway Dangler Darwin Award: Spy vs. Self Darwin Award: Failed Frame-up Darwin Award: Aim to Win Darwin Award: Damned if You Do… Darwin Award: Killer Shades Honorable Mention: A Medical First at Oktoberfest Personal Account: Power Over Plate Glass Personal Account: The Man with the Iron Stomach Personal Account: Volunteer Fireman Personal Account: Bullet-Brain Personal Account: BlackCats in the Pants

CHAPTER 6 Explosion/Fire

Discussion: Chicken Little Was Right Darwin Award: Chimney-Cleaning Grenade Darwin Award: Unsafe and Insane Darwin Award: Do-It-Yourself Land Mine Darwin Award: “Plug Me In” Darwin Award: Workin’ at the Car Wash Darwin Award: Rocketing to Glory Darwin Award: The Army’s a Blast Darwin Award: Human Torch Darwin Award: Lava Lamp Darwin Award: Amateur Bomb Inspector Honorable Mention: Firewalls Honorable Mention: Welding Warning Honorable Mention: Crotch Rocket Honorable Mention: Hot Pants Honorable Mention: Exploding Boat Honorable Mention: Exploding Outhouse Honorable Mention: Flaming Bungee Jump Honorable Mention: Cooking with Gas Personal Account: Cleaning Solution Personal Account: Tight Wad Personal Account: Medieval Flambé Personal Account: Pocket M80

CHAPTER 7 Weapons

Discussion: Forensic Analysis: Achieving Justice Darwin Award: Surprise Attack Surprise Darwin Award: Exploding Ex-Tortionist Darwin Award: Shooting Blanks Honorable Mention: Shoot ’em Off Darwin Award: Slaughterhouse Robbery Darwin Award: Sharp Landing Honorable Mention: Nighttime Fun with Bullets Honorable Mention: Baked Bullet Surprise Honorable Mention: Self-Protection Honorable Mention: Testosterone, Chickens, and Guns Personal Account: Village Idiot Personal Account: Gun-Safety Nonsense Personal Account: Do What I Say, Not What I Do

CHAPTER 8 Miscellaneous

Discussion: The Skinny on Fat Darwin Award: Watch Out for That Tree! Darwin Award: Bannister to Heaven Darwin Award: Flying Dutchman Darwin Award: Caught in the Auger Darwin Award: Pancake Thief Darwin Award: All Wound Up Darwin Award: Catapult to Glory Darwin Award: Sizzling Scaffolding Honorable Mention: Serbian Tsunami Honorable Mention: Hammer Head Honorable Mention: Oops, Did It Again Honorable Mention: White Russians Personal Account: Icarus Personal Account: Hot Hot Chocolate Personal Account: The Bigger the Better Personal Account: Captain Magneto Personal Account: Human Paper Towel Personal Account: Juice Me Up!

The End of the Universe Appendices

Website Biography Author Biographies Biographies of Contributors Location Index Story Index

Footnotes