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CHAPTER FIVETHE fact that she had spent a depressed and worrying weekend must have been showing, Perry thought when she presented herself at work on Monday and saw Madge, who had arrived at the same time, looking at her closely.'How's the tummy upset?' she enquired, her way of saying that regardless of the invention, Perry didn't look up to par.'Thanks, Madge,' said Perry, knowing Madge would take from that her thanks for covering for her and also that she didn't want to discuss anything to do with Friday.'Any time,' Madge replied. Then with a, 'Heads down time,' she prepared to start work.The trouble with this job, Perry thought, as she threaded a needle, was that if gave one plenty of time to think. And she had done more than enough chasing the same theme on Saturday and Sunday when a feeling of thoroughly disliking Nash Devereux had made itself felt. It was all his fault, she had thought time and time again, that the celebratory evening with Trevor she should have been eagerly looking forward to held nothing for her but guilt at the secret that was between them.She should be happy and excited, she thought, recalling the agony of her thoughts over the weekend, that soon she would be celebrating her engagement with the man she loved. For it had come to her, in long wakeful hours, that by not rejecting Trevor's proposal she must now be engaged to him.Unconsciously she sighed, her sigh heard by Madge, who looked up, wanting to help with whatever was troubling her, but unable to unless Perry confided in her.Oh, where was she to get five thousand pounds from? Perry wondered agitatedly. Even if Trevor had got five thousand she couldn't ask or accept it from him. She had taken money from one man once, admittedly not for herself, and look where it had got her! Not that there would be any trouble with Trevor if he gave her the five thousand she so badly needed, she mentally defended him, it was
CHAPTER SIXBUT Perry found her fears that he intended they should go to his place unfounded. And so fixedly had she been watching the route he was taking that they arrived at her flat with the matter of the divorce still unresolved.Nash turned off the engine, but she had no intention of moving until the item of conversation he had said would only take a few minutes was satisfactorily agreed on.'We'll talk in your flat,' he stated with that disgusting self-confidence of his.'We won't...' was as far she got before he was slipping quickly, effortlessly from behind the wheel and was round at her side of the car helping her out.He really was the limit! she fumed, ready to hit him with something heavy if once in her flat he suggested she gave him coffee.'Nice place you have here,' he remarked on entering her sitting room for the second time that evening. 'Shall I light the gas fire for you? It's still cold for this time of year, isn't it?'I'll brain him yet! Perry was thinking as, with anger building up inside, she watched the loose-limbed way he strolled over to her gas fire and put a match to it.'Now,' he said, that mocking smile doing nothing for her blood pressure, 'shall we sit down and discuss the subject that by the look of you is threatening to have you blowing a gasket?'It's not the subject, she wanted to retort, it's you. But that he now seemed ready to get down to business had a calming effect on her as she chose to sit down on the settee, keeping a lid tightly shut when her anger would have erupted again when he ignored the easy chair facing her and opted to join her on the settee.'Why is the divorce suddenly so urgent?' he enquired, coming straight to the point, and adding before she could remind him, 'I know you intend marrying again—but you never did get around to giving me the reason for such haste.''I...' she began, not wanting to be amused at his mocking reference to the slap he had received for an answer the time before. She controlled her lips that wanted to curve upwards as she wondered what chance she had got of a quiet divorce if she refused to answer him this time. She looked at him and knew from the way he was quietly waiting that she would have to tell him before he would begin to get down to discussing the serious business of the divorce,'Well—if you must know,' she said, hating him for making her confess, 'Er—Trevor—Trevor doesn't know yet that I've been—that I'm married.'There was no mockery at all in Nash as his eyes pierced through her. 'Doesn't know...''I've tried to tell him,' Perry quickly jumped in, pink with guilt and sensing censure with a few unpleasant comments thrown in, 'but—but—well, his mother has such a thing about divorce,' she defended, 'she'll spoil everything between us if she knows.' She grew flustered that what she had said in no way explained why she hadn't told the person it concerned most. She tried again. 'Trevor won't mind when I explain everything to him,' she said, more in hope than in justification. 'It's just that I would rather tell him when it's all over—when I'm free, if you see what I mean.'Nash was streets ahead of her, she could see that. 'He has asked you to marry him?' he asked bluntly.The question, the look that went with it that said he didn't think much of any girl who would let a man get that far and still nurse the secret she was nursing, had her colour going high again.'I—well,' she said, trying to vindicate herself even while knowing she had no defence, 'well, Trevor said he was only thinking about asking me to marry him,' she tried, and saw that Nash, being a man of instant decisions, didn't look to think much of Trevor either since he appeared to be a man who waffled before he made up his mind, and found she was having to defend Trevor as well as herself. 'With his mother so against divorce and.... and Trevor as well—for himself, that is,' she said. Then, hating to be so much on the defensive, she threw her hands up in an Oh, dammit! gesture.'This has nothing to do with you and me,' she said agitatedly. 'The other night Trevor asked me to marry him. I didn't mean to say yes without telling him, but I must have done because we were supposed to go out tonight to celebrate. I was definitely going to tell him tonight, but...''But I rang,' said Nash, his look softening in the face of her obvious agitation. 'So you decided you would see me first and hope to be able to tell the doting Trevor the next time you saw him that at least the divorce was under way?'Perry saw his smile was genuine this time. 'Oh, Nash,' she sighed, not meaning to sound so utterly fed up as she did, ''I've been in such a panic!'The smile disappeared from his mouth, but his eyes were kind as he studied her sad face. 'Come here,' he said softly.Uncertain, the insecurity in her found comfort when he put an arm around her and she felt the side of her face against his shoulder. She sighed and needed the solidness of a hard shoulder at that moment.'Poor little Perry,' he murmured.'I've been so worried, so miserable,' she confessed. 'I rang your office nearly two weeks ago and was told you'd that day left for the States, so I wrote that night and rushed home every day to see if there was any answer in the post.''And panicked again when you saw in the paper that I was hoping to be reconciled with my wife,' he said softly in her ear, his other hand coming to stroke the side of her face, causing alarm bells to give the faintest suggestion of a tinkle. ''I'll bet you nearly fell off your bike when you opened up the paper,' he teased gently, his breath warm on her ear, his teasing quieting any alarms as her mouth winged upwards.'Why did you do it, Nash? I mean, only your solicitor and Lydia knew you were married anyway, didn't they?' She tried to move out of his arm, but his hold was firm. But she didn't panic that he wasn't letting her go. Nash wasn't the sort to attempt rape, and she could soon tell him to cut it out if he tried any funny business. 'Why did you suddenly announce it to the world?' she questioned.She felt him shrug, before he answered casually, 'A culmination of reasons, possibly. I'd just stepped from a plane, tired after working flat out, not wanting to be met by the press or—anyone.' Did that mean that the lovely Elvira Newman pictured—clinging to him was on her way out? It sounded very much like it, though there was no time for her to speculate further, for he was going on, 'But since I wanted to look in on the office I arranged to meet the press there hoping to call it a day afterwards. At my office, tired like I said, probably feeling anti-climax now that a tough assignment had been satisfactorily completed after hard days that went on into the nights, and jaded most likely, I flipped through my mail and came across one letter marked "Strictly Private and Confidential".''Mine,' she put in needlessly.'Private and confidential correspondence I deal with regularly,' Nash told her. 'It was the "Strictly" that had me opening it.''Before you saw the press?' She felt the muscles of his face move against hers, realised there must be a grin on his face, and felt her heart go thump as she realised too that his face was warm againsthers, cheek to cheek! And she hadn't felt him move! Quickly she moved her face away, turning to see his satisfied smile, a glimmer of pure reminiscent devilment in his eyes.'Your letter intrigued me—had tiredness leaving as I read what you'd written.''I wouldn't have thought the few lines I wrote were all that stimulating,' said Perry, trying desperately to recall word for word what she had finally penned, and wishing too late that she had made a copy. 'It was what you didn't write I found fascinating,' Nash informed her. 'It didn't matter to me who knew I was married—but it didn't take any master-mind to read that it did to you.''So you told the press you were hoping for a reconciliation—just to frighten the life out of me,' she said, catching
CHAPTER EIGHTFEELING tired enough to believe she wouldn't have any trouble in getting to sleep, Perry refused the offer of a sleeping tablet and consequently- wakened frequently during the night.She had to admit that since Nash's visit she felt less panicky, less strung up. But that didn't stop her from worrying about Trevor, of how he must be feeling.After another fraught wakeful session, dawn about to break, she came to a decision, her conscience at last telling her what she must do. She closed her eyes once more, common sense advising that her plan could not be put into action until the doctor had been on his morning round.Nurse Johns bustling in with her usual enthusiasm had Perry opening her eyes to discover she felt rested, and though still very tender in places, very much better.'Ah, that's what I like to see,' the nurse chirruped. 'Nice clear eyes and looking ready for breakfast.''I'm starving,' Perry lied, looking away from her favourite nurse as she started on her plan to appear perfectly fit when she told the doctor she wanted to sign herself out of his care, his hospital.'Excellent!'Her temperature taken, Perry tried to sound casual as she asked, 'Ninety-eight point four?''Nearly normal anyway,' Nurse Johns replied. 'You'll be able to have that bath today, I'm sure.'Perry wanted her bath before she saw the doctor, not afterwards. But left with a bowl of water and the necessary equipment she was able to give herself a thorough wash when Nurse Johns was called away.Disturbed to find that so, little physical effort, thetwinges from her bruises with each movement, had exhausted her, she lay back, knowing she would need the few hours' rest before the doctor came, to rebuild her strength.When Nurse Johns returned, busying herself with tidying up, Perry forced a brightness to reply to anything she had to say. But she waited until she looked ready to depart, ,then as casually as before, asked:'By the way, any idea where my clothes are?''Fed up with nightclothes already?' the nurse smiled. 'They're not far away. Though if you're thinking of sitting out in your day things after the doctor has been I wouldn't advise it. A couple of days in bed, not to mention a bump like the one you suffered, can be more weakening than you imagine.''I feel fine,' Perry protested, knowing the truth of what was said.'That's the ticket,' said Nurse Johns as she disappeared through the door.By the time Dr Boardman, with Sister and Nurse Johns in attendance, came to see her, she was feeling well again.She had even convinced herself it was ridiculous to lie there occupying a hospital bed someone else might want to use. That her determination to leave the hospital that morning had anything to do with the way she decided she felt, she didn't give a thought to as she waited patiently as the doctor ran his rule over her before proclaiming that she would be as right as rain in a couple of days.Anticipating a sticky time, she had a stubborn look on her face as the moment came to tell him she wasn't waiting those couple of days.'I feel well now,' she told him, sending him a smile because she had been so well looked after and would hate any of them to take it personally. 'In actual fact I— er-' she stumbled on embarrassed but determined, 'I've decided to go home this morning.'Dr Boardman began to shake his head, and seeing a'you must learn to walk before you can run' dialogue coming, she invented crazily on the spur of the moment and hoped nobody remembered the date of her marriage reported in the newspaper.'It's my—our wedding anniversary today.' And this time hoping the doctor had read, and remembered reading of the reconciliation Nash hoped for, she further perjured herself when she saw that though still looking doubtful he was no longer shaking his head. 'It's very important to me that—that I'm with my husband tonight,' and going red at what that statement implied, she rushed on, 'that—that I dine with him in our home like the night we did when we got married, I mean.' She came to a halt, unused to lying, knowing she had come to the end of her inventive powers.For long moments Dr Boardman said nothing, but just stood and surveyed her from over the top of his glasses while she hoped and prayed he had a soft heart and that she wouldn't have to leave the hospital without his blessing.'It seems to me,' he said at last as she waited with baited breath, 'that if I say no to your request, the start you've made to recovery is going to take a setback.' Wordlessly she stared at him, not daring even to smile. 'Are you going to promise me to take plenty of rest if I let you go, Mrs Devereux?' 'Oh yes, yes,' Perry said eagerly, her smile coming readily.'In that case Sister here had better telephone Mr Devereux to tell him he can...''No!' She saw mild astonishment at her sharp 'No' in all three faces looking down at her and hastened to explain, finding she hadn't used up her powers of invention after all, 'I want it to be a surprise. Besides,' she thought to add, 'my husband is out of town today and won't be back until early this evening.'Victorious, but in quite a lather at all the whoppers she.had told when everyone trooped out, she was smitten too by conscience about Nash. She faced that he had been good to her while she had been in here. He needn't have bothered about coming to see her, for one thing, let alone see she had a private room. He had said he would visit her today, about the same time as yesterday, she judged. Would he be angry when he arrived and found her gone? Or, which was more likely, would he think thank goodness for that, and then sit back waiting for the divorce petition to reach him?She frowned to realise that all thoughts of the divorce had gone from her mind while she had been in hospital, then her brow cleared. She had had too much else to worry about, hadn't she?Nurse Johns came in with her clothes and helped her to dress, her manner saying that while the professional side of her disapproved of Perry's leaving before she was properly ready, the heart of the woman that beat beneath her uniform thought it the most romantic thing she had heard in a long day.'You sit there,' she said when, keeping the fact that she felt whacked to herself, Perry was ready. 'I'll just go and see about your taxi.'Fortunately Perry didn't have far to walk to the taxi, but having refused the use of a wheelchair she found she was glad to have Nurse Johns supporting hold on her arm. Then she was in the taxi, listening to her nurse instructing the taxi driver firmly not to just deposit her and drive off, but to see her safely indoors.Warmly thanking Nurse Johns for all her care, Perry waved to her despite her creaking muscles as she raised her arm. And only when the hospital was out of sight was she able to breathe a sigh of relief, and lean forward to instruct the driver where she wanted to go.'They said at the hospital that it was Belgrave Square I was supposed to take you to,' he grumbled lightly.'Must have got me mixed up with someone else,' shesaid, careful not to meet his eyes in the driving mirror. Belgrave Square must be where Nash lived.He was kind, her taxi driver. Though whether it was because she was looking as all in as she felt, or that he was just following Nurse Johns' instructions, she didn't know. But he helped her to the front door and even inserted the key she had got out ready when paying him inside his taxi.At the sound of the front door being opened, Mrs Foster limped into the hall, and after one look at Perry she came as fast as she could towards her, and her ample arms were round her, giving her a hug.'Oh, love, I've been so worried about you!' she exclaimed. And standing back, she cried, 'You don't look well enough to be out of hospital. They must need the beds very badly to send you home looking so poorly!''I'm fine, Mrs Foster,' Perry told her with more determination to be fine than with truth, 'honestly.''Well, you're not tackling those stairs until you've had a sit down and a cup of tea,' Mrs Foster insisted, 'that's for certain.'Inevitably during the fifteen minutes she sat in her landlady's living room, the subject of Nash had to come up.'I couldn't believe it when he told me he was your husband,' said Mrs Foster, to which Perry sent a silent 'thanks a million, Nash',, until it came to her that with almost everyone else seeming to know, probably it was just as well. She wouldn't want Mrs Foster hurt that she was the last to know. 'I mean, you've never said anything in all the time you've lived here.'Feeling guilty, and not liking the feeling, Perry placed her empty cup and saucer down on the table in front of her. 'I was trying to forget it,' she said gently, and saw an understanding in her landlady's face that came from her experience of life over the years.'These things happen,' she shrugged, 'separation, divorce. But he's such a nice man.'Perry smiled, because there just wasn't any answer she was up to making to that. She got to her feet, thanking Mrs Foster for the tea, declaring she felt ready for anything, and asked if she could use the phone. She might as well get it over with now as go up to her flat to brood on it and have to come down and make the call anyway.'Of course you can, you know that.';Perry dialled Trevor's place of work, all thought of what she was going to say to him going from her mind as she waited for the call to be put through to him.'Perry?' His voice didn't sound very welcoming.'Trevor, I...''Where are you?' he cut her off.'Home, at my....''I'll come round.'Staring at the phone as it went dead, she knew apprehension. Trevor had sounded in a filthy mood, he hadn't even asked her how she was!Mrs Foster came out of her living room as she replaced the receiver. 'All right, dear?' she enquired.'Trevor's coming over,' Perry told her quietly.She saw Mrs Foster's face was sombre as she guessed, 'He didn't know about Mr Devereux either, did he?' Perry shook her head and saw, understanding back in Mrs Foster's face again as she said, 'You go on up. I'll let him in.'She didn't have to wait long in order to let Trevor in. Before Perry had got herself half way composed, she heard him at the door. Heard him coming up the stairs, and he was then bursting in through the unlocked door before she could get to answer it.Pale, shaking when she saw the ugliness in his face, she knew before she started that he had no interest in any explanation she had to make.'You deceiving little tramp!' he snapped, slamming the door after him, taking no heed that she looked rocky on her feet. 'A fine fool you've made me look!''Trevor, I—I meant to tell you, to explain...' was as far as she got.'Everybody's laughing at me behind my back!' he shouted at her, coming over and wrenching at her arm, making her wince as he caught one of her tender spots, and unheeding he ranted on, 'Mr X, that's what they're calling me at the office!''How could they know?' she tried, none of his colleagues known to her.'How could they know!' he repeated as though he thought she was stupid. 'Because I was misled enough to think I was engaged to you—told them at work I was engaged to a Perry Grainger. Told them your middle name because it's so unusual. I even told them the sort of work you do!''Oh,' said Perry, her head starting to ache as his down-turned mouth took on a sneer.'Oh! Is all you can say, is it? No apology at the laughing stock you've made me!''I'm sorry, Trevor. Honestly, I'm so very sorry.''Not as sorry as you will be, my girl,' he threatened. And at that moment all resemblance to the Trevor she knew, the Trevor she knew and loved, disappeared as he yanked her off her feet and half threw her on to the settee.Wide-eyed, disbelieving that this furious-looking man, that ugly expression on his face, just couldn't be the man who had asked her to marry him, she fought dizziness as she pleaded:'Listen to me, please listen!''What for?' he snarled, his lips going moist as his eyes roved her. 'I've heard all from you I want to hear. "No, Trevor. I can't, Trevor," ' he mimicked nastily. 'Wanted to keep your virtue until we were married, did you?' he sneered. 'And all the time your virtue had been had by another man—more than one, I shouldn't wonder!'Still unable to credit it—this couldn't be her Trevor?— Perry tried to get up from the settee, only to find she was pushed down again as he joined her, his hands grabbing roughly at her jacket.'Well, let me tell you, Perry Grainger Devereux,'' he spat the last word, 'I'm not asking you to give in this time. This time I'm taking what's mine, And you can forget anything I ever said about wanting to marry you. Why should I? I don't need a preacher to give me permission to take what you've been withholding from me!'His meaning was only too clear, and she saw there was no trying to reason with the madman he had become. Her body shaking, she tried to move out of his range. Panicking, wildly she tried to push past him. But her strength weakened, puny, was useless against the maniac that raged inside him.She felt her jacket pulled uncaringly from her as Trevor caught her and threw her back on to the settee, heard her blouse tear-as she tried to fight him off, heard herself pleading, 'Trevor, don't—I can explain...''Explain it to your husband,' he rasped, his hands brutally tearing at her skirt. 'Reconciliation!' he scoffed. 'He won't want to know you when I've finished with you.'Perry opened her mouth to plead again, but breath went from her as the weight of his body landed heavily on top of her. And then all thought of pleading with him went as breath returned and instinct had her using it all with what strength she had to start screaming.'Shut up, you bitch,' Trevor grunted, transferring one hand from her clothing to smother her mouth.His head came nearer as his hand left her mouth, and then several things happened at once. Before his mouth could touch hers the sound of a door being crashed in reverberated through the room, while simultaneously shestarted again to scream. And then her scream was shocked into silence as she felt the weight hauled off her, and watched stunned as Nash's fist shot out and sent Trevor flying through the air.What Nash was doing there, where he had come from, was more than she could cope with, then as her head spun dizzily she saw undismayed that several pieces of her furniture would be in need of repair where Trevor had crash landed.Ignoring him, Nash turned to her. She saw a frightening livid fury in his face as he took in her shocked, ripped and torn state, but she was past wondering if she looked as ashen as she felt.'You look ghastly,' he gritted, not bothering to dress it up. 'Did he...''No, no, I'm—all right,' she managed, fighting hard ' against the dizziness that was turning her world grey. She saw his contemptuous gaze flick to where Trevor was trying to regain his feet. She felt as ghastly as he said she looked when she saw the expression on Nash's face, and through mists gathering in her brain had a distinct impression that murder was about to be committed.She tried to call Nash's name, to stop him, but no sound came save Trevor's blubbering attempt to save his skin as he too witnessed from Nash's expression that he would be lucky to get out of there with his life.'She had it coming,' he croaked.Nash went forward, 'You bastard? he spat as he advanced.'She had it coming,' Trevor repeated, fear in his voice as he backed, away and tried to excuse himself.'You...' Nash called him another name that should have shocked Perry, but didn't, as he followed his prey- across the room.'She's been playing me along for months.' Perry saw Trevor's eyes feverishly searching for a way of escape just as mists of grey swirled up around her, 'making out shewas a virgin when she's known one man at least! His rising voice reached her as Nash grabbed him by his lapels. 'Don't...!' Trevor squealed. And it was at that point that her struggle to stay conscious ended.All was quiet when she came round. Her eye lids fluttered open to discover she was still on the settee but now had a blanket covering her. A movement at the side of her had her recognising Mrs Foster. Where Nash or Trevor were she didn't know, but fear at what had been about to take place before her faint had her asking agitatedly:'What happened?''You fainted,' Mrs Foster told her gently, and as she tried to sit up, 'Don't move. Mr Devereux has gone for the doctor. He said you were to lie still if you came round before he got back.''Doctor!' Perry exclaimed, and felt too weak suddenly to argue. Though her feelings for Trevor were all muddled up at that moment she just had to find out what had happened to him.'Trevor,' she whispered fearfully, "half dreading she would be told Nash had killed him. 'What happened to him?'Mrs Foster's face was a mixture of grimness and satisfaction. Satisfaction faded the grimness as she revealed, 'I'd just reached your landing on my way up to see what the dickens was going on when all at once I had to make "myself very small,' she smiled at Perry trying to encourage a smile at the thought of her overweight size instantly reducing itself. But Perry was past summoning a smile, so she went on, 'Well, all at once Trevor came hurtling out of your door propelled by Mr Devereux, who didn't even wait to see if he'd broken his neck as he threw him down the stairs and then disappeared into your sitting room again.''He hadn't broken his neck, had he?' Perry queried, hating any form of violence and dreading the worst. 'No such luck,' said Mrs Foster uncharitably, causingher to see that like Madge she had never liked Trevor, but unlike Madge, had kept it to herself. 'I wanted to find out what was going on, since you must be in some trouble. So I stayed there only long enough to see that young man crawl out on all fours—in a hurry, from the way his car took off—then I came in, to see your husband trying to bring you round from a faint.'Still feeling faint, Perry wondered how long she had been out, since her landlady had mentioned something about Nash going for a doctor.'I could see for myself that you'd been attacked,' Mrs Foster continued—a brief reference to Perry's torn clothing. 'Mr Devereux went and got a blanket from your bedroom, explaining a bit of what he saw when he came in. I told him I wished I'd given him a helping hand in throwing Trevor Coleman down the stairs, for all he didn't need any assistance from me.''I'm sorry for all the upset, Mrs Foster,' Perry apologised, 'I never imagined Trevor...''Good gracious, you've got nothing to apologise for,' she answered stoutly. 'I just thank God Mr Devereux called when he did. You started to scream just as I'd opened the front door to him. He was up the stairs before I'd got the door shut.'The sound of someone entering the house had Mrs Foster moving her stiff joints to leave the chair Nash had placed for her by the settee. Then Nash and another man about the same age came into the room, and Nash came straight to look down at Perry.'I won't ask how you're feeling,' he said abruptly, 'I can see.' His tone alone without the disgruntled look of him told her there was no time in his life for the sordid scene he had been made a party to—endorsing, as his glance flicked away, that he couldn't bear to look at her, that the sooner the doctor had checked her over and he could be gone the better as far as he was concerned.Then he was introducing his doctor friend Daniel Hepwood to both her and Mrs Foster, surprising Perry out of her idea that he had found- the whole scene nauseating in the extreme, something he didn't want to be associated with, by saying:'This is Perry, my wife, Daniel,' claiming her as his wife to his friend, and introducing her as such. 'I've explained about the accident Perry was in and the attack on her a short while ago. Mrs Foster and I will wait downstairs while you check her over.'As soon as they were gone Perry tried to protest that she was fine, that she didn't need to be checked over. But when Daniel Hepwood drew back the blanket and saw the marks of fresh bruising starting to show through her torn clothing, his face revealing nothing of his thoughts, he gave her a winning smile.'Would you have old Nash having my guts for garters?' he enquired teasingly, and she had to give in.She had had enough today, she thought as she answered questions, had a light shone in her eyes, her pulse taken. She didn't think she could take Nash charging up here and laying down the law about what was best for her --it was much easier to give in.'You'll mend,' Daniel pronounced, pulling the blanket up over her. And, with his ear cocked towards the open door, 'Ah, methinks I hear the rattle of the tea-cups. Fancy one?'She did, though she felt guilty when he went down in hoping he would be the one to bring her up a cup, and so , taking up more of his valuable time. But Mrs Foster had already been up once, bless her, and she didn't want her disabling herself with a second journey up those steep stairs. Nash, she thought, even if he had stayed to hear what Daniel Hepwood had to say, wouldn't stay longer.While she waited, she put her will power to use. She felt better now, she told herself. She would leave the settee in a minute, go and change. She would rinse her face, brush her hair, that would make her feel better, and—and tomorrow she would get down to doing some serious thinking. Today it was beyond her.She heard firm footsteps on the stairs, and had a smile on her face ready to thank Daniel not only for the tea he was bringing, but also for dropping everything and rushing round at a moment's notice.Her smile disappeared as Nash, balancing a cup and saucer on a tray and looking as though he was very unused to the task as he endeavoured not to spill any, entered her sitting room.'I thought you'd gone,' she said without thinking, relief flooding in that although his eyebrows went up, there was a suggestion of a quirk to the corner of his mouth that could mean he wasn't about to lay into her.'Now why should I do that?' he asked, taking the cup and saucer from the tray arid handing it to her. 'What sort of a husband would I be if I left my wife alone on—our wedding anniversary?'The tea slopped over into the saucer, a drop falling on to the blanket as Nash's hand came out to steady it. Seeing she was over her start, he took the seat previously occupied by Mrs Foster and then Daniel Hepwood.'Er—you—er—phoned the hospital?' she asked, not needing his reply. 'I thought I'd enquire how you were doing,' he answered.Would she never lose this feeling of being guilty over everything she said or did just lately? Perry wondered, knowing she had metaphorically been caught with her hand in the till and couldn't lie her way out of this one.'It worried me—Trevor,' she explained, owning up. 'I th-thought—-realised last night that by not telling him... By letting him find out about ...''Leave it,' Nash instructed, seeing she was struggling. 'It's not important-'She turned grateful green eyes to him. She owed him the explanation after he had so kindly arranged that private room for her, but if he thought it wasn't important, then at that moment it was good enough for her.'Daniel gave me a couple of sedatives for you,' he announced, his voice easy. 'Do you want to save some of your tea to help them down or shall I get you a glass of water?'She had taken them before she realised Nash was being quite masterful. He hadn't given her the chance to decide whether she wanted to take them or not, but had merely emptied them into her hand and leaned forward to ensure that she did so.But when he said, 'All right if I act as lady's maid?' visions of him calmly stripping her and dressing her in fresh untorn clothing had her thinking he was going very much too far.'Thank you all the same,' she said primly, 'but I can manage to change quite well by myself.''Foiled again,' said Nash, and Perry had the most unladylike impulse to take a swipe at him when she saw him grin wickedly. 'To be more precise,' he said, 'I was asking your permission to pack a few things for you.''Pack!' She was glad this time her cup was empty as it rattled in her hands before he took it from her. 'Pack what? Where do you imagine I'm going?'It had taken a lot of effort for her to leave hospital and get this far. If he had any bright ideas in his head of packing her a case, and by the look of him he had every intention of doing that with or without her permission, and taking her where, she couldn't begin to think, then he could jolly well think again!'How,' he said, undisturbed by the determined look of her, 'how does the idea of spending a few weeks in the country appear to you?' And not letting that idea do more than lightly touch the surface, 'I know of a delightful house in darkest Sussex where you'll be able to rest and regain your strength before you start to take up life again.'She wasn't going to go. She wasn't. Even if it did sound like: heaven. 'Whose house is it? she asked suspiciously.'Mine.' He was serious as he went on, 'I've already phoned Mrs Vale, my housekeeper. She'll have a room ready for you by the time we arrive.''Perhaps when you arrive you'll extend my apologies to Mrs Vale,' Perry said stubbornly. 'I'm going nowhere with you.'She looked away then, not liking that his face took on an expression that looked more determined than her own. She wouldn't look at him even when, after a lengthy pause, he enquired quietly:'Frightened, Perry?''Frightened?' she exclaimed, and was suddenly terribly unsure of herself. In a way Nash did frighten her. Oh, not his mannerisms, his bad temper with her on occasions.Certainly not that time he had kissed and caressed her—God, she'd made a fool of herself then—but something about him, what she didn't know, had some inexplicable instinct warning that she might end up suffering more pain than she was at the moment—if she went with him.'You've just received a shock of the worst kind.' His voice was quite still, a hint of gentleness there. 'I hadn't intended to refer to it, but if what happened to you—might have happened to you,' he corrected, 'has affected your trust in men, then be assured I would never attack you in such a way.'She was gasping as he came to an end of what he was so seriously telling her. 'I know you wouldn't!' she said, shocked that he could think she doubted it.'You trust me?' he asked, and looked pleased when she nodded.She did trust him, she thought, her brow wrinkling. Bewildered that even having trusted Trevor, never having given thought that he could do what he had, not knowingNash nearly so well, for some unknown reason she just knew he wouldn't so vilely attempt to abuse her.'I thought you were going to kill him,' she said, following her own train of thought, and finding Nash had no trouble in following her.'It was on the cards,' he said, his tone hardening. 'Had you not chosen that precise moment to moan and pass out...''Mrs Foster said you threw him down the stairs,' she remembered. 'Why—why were you so angry, Nash?'There was a brief pause before he replied, his eyes taking in her exhausted face, the sedatives at work, the lassitude showing. 'Wouldn't any decent man have done the same?' he asked in reply. Then he rose from his chair, suddenly the man of action that he was.Tiredness went from her briefly as she wondered where he was going when he went from the room. In seconds he was back, her jeans and sweater in his hands, telling her he had made a second trip to her bedroom.'You can change in here while I get your things together in the other room,' he told her", clearly expecting no argument.'I'm not going,' she found the will to protest, and had to watch as Nash hid the exasperation he must be feeling with her when bluntly he told her:'You're not fit enough to be on your own and you know it. And before you say you're not on your own, that Mrs Foster can look after you, you'll accept with the honesty that's in you—give or take a few acceptable lies in the circumstances—that it takes that good lady all her time to potter about her own place without further crippling herself half a dozen times a day by climbing upstairs to see if you're all right.'He was right, of course. And she wouldn't dream of letting Mrs Foster come up at all. She wouldn't have let her come up earlier had she been in any position to stop her. But still her stubbornness persisted.'I'm not coming with you, Nash, and that's final,' she said. 'Very well,' he agreed, and she knew a brief moment of victory. That was until he added smoothly, 'If you'd like to get changed, I'll run you back to the hospital.'Open-mouthed, she stared at him,, stubborn green eyes looking into hard unrelenting grey eyes. 'I'm not...' she tried.'Take your choice,' said Nash to a girl who for all their kindness to her in hospital, would rather be anywhere than go back; 'hospital or Sussex?'Perry drew a tired breath of defeat, but felt too weary suddenly to fight him anymore. 'Swine,' she said dispiritedly.'You say the sweetest things,' said Nash.
CHAPTER NINESNUGGLED beneath the blanket Nash had tucked around her before they started out on the drive to his country home—Greenfields he had told her it was called—Perry battled against the desire to sleep.'Fighter to the last, aren't you?' Nash commented suddenly, making her aware that while most of his attention was on his driving, he still had time for the occasional glance her way and had just caught her forcing her eyelids apart. 'Why not give in?' he suggested mildly. 'The journey will be less wearying for you if you close your eyes.The surviving spirit in her wanted to tell him she wasn't tired. But he had already found her out in one or two blatant lies, and she knew he wasn't going to believe this one anyway.'I promise to keep it to myself if you snore,' he remarked, causing her lips to twitch when she wanted to feel indignant.'I thought you lived in Belgrave Square,' she said out of blue, something that had occurred to her when he had first mentioned his country house. Then, afraid he might think she had been checking up on him, 'That's where the taxi driver wanted to take me from the hospital, anyway.'Nash didn't comment on what he thought of her countermanding the taxi driver's previous instructions, but told her after a moment, 'It's convenient to have a flat in London. But having been brought up in the country I like to have the wide open spaces around me whenever I get the chance.'Surprised and a little pleased that the hard man she had known had opened up to reveal a little of himself, Perry found herself asking softly:'Does it upset you, Nash, that Lydia inherited your old home?' and immediately she had, she wished she hadn't. Perhaps he was still bitter about that time six years ago.'That bang on the head doesn't appear to have affected your memory,' he observed, smoothly overtaking the car in front. Then after a moment's silence when she was still wishing she had bitten her tongue and slightly pink that he was going to ignore her question, he said, 'No, it doesn't upset me. It was my father's wish that she should have it—that he couldn't see her for what she was, was my bad fortune.'Perry saw more in his answer than he said. He meant he saw it as his bad fortune that he had had to go against all his deep-seated convictions about ever marrying, in order to get what was so rightfully his.Unconsciously she sighed. Nash could have done something ages ago about his bad fortune in having to take a wife. She wished he had. None of what had taken place would have occurred had he divorced her long, long ago. As it was, life as she had known it would no longer be the same. She had lost Trevor, and, suddenly feeling weepy, she wasn't sure that losing him bothered her all that much—which was confusing, because he had meant so much to her. Perhaps the heartache would start tomorrow, she thought, sighing again. At the moment she felt too numb from all that had happened to feel pain anywhere but where she had been physically hurt.A small yawn escaped. Her eyes closed. She'd open them in a minute, she thought...The next thing she knew was that strong arms held her, and were carrying her, plus blanket, away from the car. It was still daylight and for a second she didn't know where she was. Then above her she saw Nash's face, dark hair whipped by a gust of wind in an engaging cowlick across his high, intelligent forehead.Grey eyes spotted that she had awakened as their owner progressed over a gravelled drive, a manservant preceding him to open doors. 'Hello, Nash,' Perry whispered, still half asleep, and felt an idiot as his eyes showed amusement. That was until he said gravely: 'Hello, yourself.'A thin wiry lady nearing her sixties greeted them in the hall. Perry guessed she was Mrs Vale as she told Nash everything was as he requested, and asked if she could be of assistance.Ignoring Perry's movement suggesting she was capable of standing on her own two feet, he held on to her as he thanked Mrs Vale, suggesting, 'Perhaps you'll come up in about fifteen minutes with something to tempt my wife's appetite, Ellie.'Then as his housekeeper went away to do his bidding, he carried Perry up the stairs, passing the man he called Bert coming from the light airy room Nash took her to.Without saying a word, he placed her on a velvet-covered chair while he went to unplug the electric blanket he had obviously ordered to be switched on. Perry watched, thinking she should make some comment. But seeing his thoroughness in action as he went over to her suitcase that Bert must have brought up, she was lost for words as she saw him extract a nightdress which he had thought to pack at the top, knowing it would be wanted first.Her eyes followed him as he placed her pink satiny nightdress on the, just then, most inviting double bed she had ever seen, and then he came over to pull her to her feet.'Come on, Sleeping Beauty,' he said matter-of-factly, his fingers already at the welt of her sweater ready to pull it over her head, 'it's bed for you.'But while she still felt tired enough to welcome bed, she certainly wasn't that tired that she was going to stand for him confidently thinking he was going to be the one to undress her, impersonal as he seemed to be.'I can manage by myself,' she said, pulling her sweater down when already it was level with her bust.'Oh dear, oh dear,' said Nash, sarcasm about to break, she knew it. It didn't come. With a resigned sigh he lifted her until she was sitting on the bed. 'Get busy with the top half,' he instructed. 'I'll be back in a few minutes.'For all her tiredness, careless of her aches and pains, Perry had her nightdress over her head and was struggling to pull her jeans from her legs when, in under a minute she was prepared to swear, Nash reappeared.Studiously ignoring him, her face pink, her arms purposely covering the front of her, she got on with her task. Then she found Nash wasn't looking at her as he came to bend to her shoes, remarking:'Didn't Nanny ever tell you it's easier if you take your shoes off first?''I never had a nanny,' she said sourly.'Nor your bottom slapped either, by the sound of it,' he commented, delegating her straight to the nursery as her shoes came off and she had to sit while he pulled her jeans from her ankles. 'Anything else to come?' he enquired, and there was a devil in his eyes, she saw, as he read in her eyes that he could go and take a running jump before she'd remove her briefs.Wisely he didn't wait for her answer, but pulled back the covers and had her tucked up in the luxurious warmth of the bed, when ease came instantly to her aching body.'Hmm, this is delicious!' she sighed blissfully, forgetting to be sour as the heat salved her wounded flesh. 'Pure heaven,' she purred, saw the look of utmost satisfaction that came to him, and didn't care at all then that he looked to be pleased that he had done the right thing in bringing her to his country home.Then suddenly he was sayings 'I won't be around tokeep an eye on you. Please me by staying in bed for the rest of the day.''Where are you going?' she asked promptly, knowing she had no right, but comfort leaving her that it looked as though he was prepared to dump her in his home and then disappear.'A man has to earn his crust,' said the man who headed a multi-million-pound empire. 'I have a meeting in London this afternoon.''Oh.' Having lost all sense of time, Perry wanted to ask if he intended coming back or was he spending the night at his flat in town. But that feeling of guilt was smiting her again. 'I'm sorry, Nash. You—I must have cut heavily into what must be a very busy day for you.'He gave her a look that conveyed 'all in, a day's work' but didn't stop longer than to tell her briefly that if he wasn't too late getting home, he would look in on her, and while she was still trying to hide the smile that piece of information evoked, he went.Not understanding why she should feel so gladdened he was returning to Greenfields that night, Perry snuggled down in the bedclothes, no longer feeling like sleep, more—floaty.She came round from her floaty feeling when Mrs Vale brought her up her lunch. And for all she hadn't thought she was hungry, she suddenly felt ravenous as a delicious smell of home-made soup reached her. She took an immediate liking to Mrs Vale, who insisted she call her Ellie as she adjusted her pillows, thinking that for all Ellie's size being in direct contrast to Mrs Foster, she was just as motherly.'Feeling sleepy?' she enquired, taking the last of her dishes away and looking approving that she had made quite a good showing of eating most of her meal.'Not a bit,' said Perry, feeling wide awake.She realised very shortly, when Ellie came back after taking her used dishes away and pottered about unpacking her suitcase before asking her if she would like her to sit with her for a while, that Nash must have left instructions that she wasn't to be left alone to brood.Though she was grateful to him that he couldn't have said anything to her about what had happened to her after she had left hospital when Ellie, waving aside her suggestion that she must be more than enough extra work without taking up any more of her time, drew up a chair to sit near the bed and remarked:'Nash said you shouldn't be out of hospital yet, so you must share some of his determination that having decided you wanted to leave you got them to telephone him to come for you.''They were marvellous to me,' she said, grateful to Nash for keeping the sordid business to himself, 'but...''But like me you can't abide such places,' Ellie smiled. 'Well, we can look after you just as well, Mrs Devereux, only you'll have to take things very easy. Though Nash will see to it you don't overtax yourself.' That sounded very much as though she was in for some more of his bossy treatment! Perry made up her mind there and then to make her recovery the fastest on record. Nash had said she should stay in his home for a few weeks, but a few days, she thought, were going to be enough if he was going to start acting the lord and master.For the next thirty minutes or so they chatted idly and comfortably on any subject that presented itself. Perry telling about her work and hearing that Bert was Ellie's husband, and earning a warm smile from Nash's housekeeper when after she had called her Mrs Devereux several times, a name Perry was not at home with at all, she asked her to call her by her first name the way she did Nash. By the end of that time Perry had realised from Ellie's way of speaking of Nash, the affection there in her voice whenever his name cropped up, and from the way shereferred to him by his first name, that she must have known him before he had bought Greenfields. And since by now they were getting on with each other famously, she was able to put the question:'How long have you known Nash, Ellie?''My name was the first word he spoke as a baby,' Ellie replied proudly, and went on to reveal, her loyalty to Nash never in doubt, that she and Bert had been in service to his parents. 'His mother was such a lively soul,' she remembered. 'Said she couldn't stand being buried alive in the country.' Her eyes saddened. 'Nash's father was never truly happy after she left him.'Recalling that Nash had as good as said his father had been besotted with Lydia, Perry couldn't stop the, 'But he married Lydia,' that rose to her lips. 'An old man's fancy,' sniffed Ellie, leaving her in no doubt that she didn't care very much for Nash's stepmother before she went on. 'She wanted Bert and me to stay on and work for her, but not likely.' Her last three words spoke volumes. 'As soon as she moved in, we moved out. Nash found us when he bought this place and since we weren't much happier in the job we'd moved to, we couldn't start to work for him soon enough.'There was an amiable silence in the room for a few seconds; then suddenly Ellie was showing surprise that Perry knew of Lydia's existence at all, asking was it Nash who had told her about her. And when she confirmed that he had, she saw the momentary look of puzzlement on her face as she said: 'Nash never talks about his father's second wife,' then, her face magically clearing, 'I'm sorry, I haven't got used yet to the fact that you and Nash are married. Naturally he would discuss things with you he wouldn't discuss with anybody else.' Her face was solemn as she added, 'None of us knew Nash had a wife. We only learned it from the papers. Oh, I do so hope everything goes well for youfrom now on, that the reconciliation he's hoping for happens.''We...' Perry began. But feeling such a liking for Ellie even on such short acquaintance, she just didn't have the cruelty in her to dash that look of fervent hope she saw in her face by saying, 'We're going to be divorced.' 'We shall have to wait and see,' she said, and didn't feel so much of a coward when she saw Ellie was smiling again the smile that was so much a part of her.Then Ellie was standing up and saying that with all their talking they could both do with a cup of tea, pausing to ask if she would prefer something else. Perry knew she meant did she have a preference for coffee, but just had to tell her that what she would like above anything was a bath. Whereupon she discovered Ellie wouldn't hear of her having her bath unattended, and ten minutes later was exclaiming in shocked tones when she saw the extent of the bruising on her body.'They should never have let you go,' she said, frowning—and Perry couldn't tell her that she had collected a few more bruises after she had left hospital. 'I don't know what Nash was thinking of in agreeing to such a thing,' Ellie tut-tutted.'Don't be cross, Ellie,' said Perry, beginning to wish she had done without her bath after all, and saw the housekeeper's frown disappear at her plea.Though still pale after her bath she felt so much better she was able to eat most of the meal Ellie brought to her at dinner time. Only this time, careful though Ellie had been before when she adjusted her pillows, Perry noted the extra care she exercised, and knew the bruises she had seen were well to the front of her mind.Sleep came naturally after that, and she didn't fight it. Nash would be home later, and if Ellie went on to him about her bruises the way she had to her, then she would rather be asleep than have him coming in and demanding to look at them—or worse, if heated argument ensued, have him taking her back to hospital.A nightmare woke her in which Trevor's face loomed huge, misshapen, contorted. She turned on her bedside light and was out of bed as though trying to escape before her fear left her. She checked her watch. Only ten to three and she was wide awake, knowing she wouldn't sleep again for hours.She moved towards the window, intending to look out, for all it was dark, as she wondered if Nash was home yet. Probably, she thought, but who knew what hours he kept. Then a sound behind her had her spinning round.The man she had been thinking of stood there. His robe, appearing to have been hastily dragged on, and by the look, over nothing, had her enormously aware of her own scant covering.'All right?' Nash enquired, quietly closing the door and coming over to where she stood momentarily paralysed. 'I thought I heard you scream.'He was talking calmly, easing the agitation her eyes were showing at having him there in her room, naked under his robe, she knew now as she saw the hair coming up from his chest as he drew nearer.'The light beneath your door made me think you might be awake.' They were standing almost toe to toe when still in that same calming voice, he asked, 'Did something frighten you, Perry?' 'I...' she began, the dryness leaving her throat, 'I had a bit of a nightmare. I—didn't know I screamed. Sorry I woke you up.''Coleman?' he queried, her apology brushed aside. 'Did he figure in your nightmare?'She nodded. And not wanting to dwell on it, her voice husky, 'I'm over it now. F-forgotten most of it already.'She thought then he was going to take hold of her in some touch of comfort to chase the rest of her nightmareaway. His hands did come up, but only reached as far as her arms, then they were dropped as he took hold of both her hands in his.'I noticed the bruises on your arms when I was here before,' he said, letting her know why it was her hands he was holding, letting her know too that there was very little his eyes missed. 'Ellie tells me the bruising on your body is far more extensive.' She braced herself for what was coming. 'Was I wrong to bring you here? Should I have taken you straight back to the hospital?''No, Nash,' she said, suddenly able to speak freely to him. 'I'm very fair-skinned, so it's natural I should bruise easily. And ... and anyway, I don't like hospitals.' And in case he wasn't going to take heed of what she said and intended to take her there anyway, 'Please don't make me go back. The doctor—your friend Daniel, he said I was all right, didn't he?' 'He said you should have rest and care,' he told her, his eyes scanning her face.'Well, there you are, then. I've rested all day and Ellie is caring for me as though I was a day-old chick.'That brought a semblance of a smile to his face. 'And you're going to rest again tomorrow?' he enquired.'In bed, you mean?' she asked, not liking the idea very much. 'In bed,' he confirmed.Perry didn't know why she was giving in so easily. Nash couldn't make her go to hospital, any more than he could make her stay in bed tomorrow if she didn't want to.'Oh, all right,' she said, not very graciously, she had to admit.But he wasn't offended. Well, he wouldn't be, would he? she thought, growing mutinous because it wasn't like her to be so acquiescent with him and she wasn't liking herself very much. He had got his own way again, so why should he be offended? 'How about bed now?' he suggested. 'I'm not tired.''Would you be if I went down and warmed a glass of milk for you?''I don't like warmed milk.''Nor having your bottom smacked either,' said Nash, making her aware she was pushing it.But he'd done it again. Her smile came out suddenly and sunnily from her mutinous face. 'I wouldn't mind a cup of tea,' she said in apology. And then, thinking by way of an apology after all he had done for her—half killing Trevor topping all she owed him—it wasn't enough, and her eyes misted over. 'I don't know why I'm being so argumentative. It's not like me—I'm sorry, Nash.' 'It's not like you because you're not you yet,' he said kindly. 'You've been frightened by a nightmare—parts of it still fresh in your mind. That's probably why you don't want to get back into bed.''I love your psychology,' she said. And as though to prove him wrong, not seeing until later it was what he intended, she went over to the bed, forgetful for the moment that close up he could see very little of her in the nightdress that tended to cling wherever it touched. 'Oh,' she said, seeing his eyes on her when at the bed she turned to give him a cocky 'So there!' look. Without thinking about it she dived in among the covers, almost crying out loud at the pain that shrieked through her.Nash didn't look smug, he looked concerned if anything as he saw her wincing expression, but his voice sounded smug as he said, 'That'll larn you!''Pig,' she said, and didn't mind when he leaned over to put her covers straight that he placed a gentle kiss on her mouth, then asked as quietly as he had when he came in:'All right?' ''Fine,' she told him, and saw his lips curve that, feel half dead though she might, she wasn't going to let anyone know it.'Sugar?' he asked, and Perry felt quite light-hearted as she quickly recalled that he was going to make her a cup of tea.'No, thanks,' she smiled, and lay down after he had gone, curled up on her side, her eyes closing as she wondered why she had ever been afraid of him. He was quite nice really, given he did have a sharp side it was better not to tangle with. He had been ready to murder Trevor anyway, But would he really have spanked her rear end as he threatened? The answer came back—yes, yes, he would. But he hadn't, she thought. When it had looked as though things were going to cut up rough she had smiled at him, backed down, and he had been kind to her.She awakened at dawn to find her bedside light still on and that a cup of cold tea was standing there, and she felt awful that after going downstairs in the dead of night to brew up for her she had been asleep when Nash had come back.Had he stayed to see if she stirred? she wondered, not sure she liked the idea of him watching her while she was asleep, for all he must have seen her unconscious in the hospital. Or had he merely come in and gone straight out again, leaving the tea in case it was only a light doze she had fallen into?The next time she woke up she felt as good as new. That was until she uncurled her body and stretched and an 'Oooh!' escaped her. Yet whoever heard of anyone lying in bed on a Saturday? On a weekday, yes, when one was obliged to get up to go to work, the bed pulled then occasionally, especially on those dark winter mornings. But if that sunlight she could see was anything to go by, it was a beautiful spring day out there.Perhaps Nash would have business in London today, she thought hopefully, her promise to him of last night weighing heavily, hope in her heart that she might be able to wander outdoors for a while. Well, he hadn't got where he was by keeping a five-day week, had he?In a mind to have her bath unattended anyway—the thought of Ellie's distress, for all her caring, was something she didn't want if her bruises hadn't faded any this morning—Perry found her idea thwarted as just as she was about to flip back the covers, Nash walked in.The business suit of yesterday had gone, she saw at once, and gone too went her hopes of spending any time outside, to see that this morning he was trouser and sweater-clad.'You're not going to London today?' she enquired, wishing she had waited to give him a polite good morning before rushing in headlong to find out what his movements were. She could see from the hard look on his face as he approached that she had been far too eager with her question.'Wanting to get back to London already?' he said toughly, misreading her completely. 'I would have thought you'd have had enough of that—animal's company to last you a lifetime.'Oh, how easily he could make her angry! It was on the tip of her tongue to say Trevor wasn't an animal, just for the sheer perversity he aroused in her.'It was partly my own fault,' she snapped instead, privately of the same viewpoint, that Trevor's behaviour had gone far past the expected limits of civilised humanity. 'I invited trouble,' she added, seeing Nash wasn't sweetened at all that she was. taking this line in defending the man who had felt the sharp edge of his knuckles.'Oh, sure,' he scorned acid aggression striking her ears. 'What did you do, lie there and say "I've been a bad girl—here I am—rape me"? Your screams sounded genuine enough from where I heard them.''Oh, go to hell!' she flared, wanting to cry at how easily he could flatten her, her spurt of anger blowing itself out, her voice wobbly as that whole nauseating scene came back. 'I—I was terrified, you—you know I was.' She sniffed and searched for a handkerchief from under her pillow, then felt the mattress go down as Nash's weight had him sitting near her.His voice had lost its hardness as she wiped the few weak tears away. 'So why do you want to go back to London?' he asked gently.'I don't,' she answered, 'Well, I do, but...' Suddenly she found it impossible to lie to him. 'But it's you I want to go to London.' And, unable to look at him, she heard herself confess, 'I was hoping to get up when your back was turned.'His laugh made her feel better. 'Wretched female,' was all he said, and she found she quite liked him with his face creased in amusement. That was until he added, 'That small shower that just came down tells me you're not as fit yet as you think you are. Wouldn't you agree?''Do you always have to be so right?' she asked, knowing she would die rather than let anyone see her in tears if she was well.'Always,' he said imperturbably, not a scrap put out that she was ready to be snappy again. 'How about if you rest this morning, and if you feel up to it sitting out in that chair for an hour or two this afternoon?'Wanting to be sarcastic, Perry looked at the chair he indicated, then found she was too grateful for this small concession to say anything that might have him changing his mind. Then she discovered he wasn't waiting for her answer but had stood up and was about to go. Her eyes caught the tea cup and saucer on the bedside table.'Er—Nash,' her voice stayed him. 'Er—thanks for the tea.''Pleasure,' he said briefly, and went. Neither of them had alluded to the fact that she had been asleep when hehad brought it and that it was still there as he had left it, only now cold.Being generally fussed over by Ellie, Perry had her bath and breakfasted, and alone once more, settled back to read some of the magazines Ellie had brought her, saying Nash had gone out by himself before shutting himself with his work in his study.He is kind, Perry thought, none of the print in front of her being absorbed, as the magazine fell from her hands on to the bed. It must be a real pill to him that she was under his roof at all. Yet he had brought her here simply because he knew she didn't want to go to hospital and Mrs Foster was unable to look after her.Again she made up her mind to get better quickly. She might, if she could find Nash in the right mood, even get him to take her back to London when he went on Monday. He wouldn't want her under his roof those few weeks he had spoken of, she was convinced of that.He came in to see her again after lunch, but she thought better then than to tell him what was in her mind about Monday. First let him see what excellent progress she was making, she thought, as he came to the foot of the bed, picked up her dressing gown and handed it to her. 'The moment you've been waiting for,' he announced. 'Put that on and tell me where you want to sit.''By the window,' she said promptly, obeying his instructions, knowing his not asking her if she felt up to it could only mean he had found out from Ellie that she had eaten every scrap of her lunch.She had her dressing gown on by the time he had carried the chair to the window, padded it with a blanket to wrap round her and had turned round.'Just one thing,' he said as she was about to leave her sitting position on the edge of the bed. Grey eyes pinned her as she waited to hear what was coming. 'Just how much of your lunch was disposed of in the bathroom?'Her pink colour showed her guilt. Though how he knew, as nice as the meal Ellie cooked had been, her stomach wasn't used to more than one big meal a day and a good half of it had been emptied from her plate and flushed down the loo she didn't know.'Oh, you!' she sighed, exasperated, half afraid that for all his preparations he was going to change his mind about letting her sit out. 'Do you have to be so clever?'Her answer was a grin that so transformed the sternness of him, she nearly fell flat on her face. 'It's a gift,' he said, adding, 'Come on,' when she was still unsure if bed was to be her place for the afternoon, 'let's see what sort of a job you make of walking unaided.'It was an effort, in view of the twinges that had a go at her, to walk with her shoulders back. But she managed it, and was rewarded by his muttered, 'Game to the last!' as he "tucked the blanket around her and went to bring up a small table so she should have her magazines near should she want them.She glanced through the window—and her glance stayed. The wide open spaces Nash had spoken of as needing spread out there before her.Her, 'Why, it's perfect!' came involuntarily as she stared, held by the view. Green fields, sloping land. Trees, some in clumps others interspersed with a hedgerow patchwork. To the right a sizeable coppice, to the left more tall stately trees, not another house in sight.Nash came to stand by her shoulder, looking, she thought, in the same direction as herself as he remarked, 'Glad you like it.' But for all his comment had been easy, suddenly she was aware of tension, where before there had been none.She turned her head quickly, sunlight glinting on the gold of her hair, and saw he wasn't looking at the view but at her. His eyes went from her mouth to her hair, and back again to her mouth. And in that moment, Perry knew Nash was going to kiss her.Her mouth dried. Her heart began to race, nowhere near certain she didn't want him to kiss her. Every womanly instinct was telling her his kiss wouldn't be that same brief meeting of lips he had saluted her with last night —this would be more in the nature of the kiss that had grown and grown that night in her flat. That night she had wanted more!'Nash,' she said, her voice all strangled and a stranger to her.At once his expression altered. The sound of his name on her lips, the look of half fear, half wanting was clear for all to see. He turned away, at random picking up one of the magazines from the table and thrusting it into her hands, his honesty defeating her as he wouldn't pretend that tense moment hadn't happened.'Read,' he instructed grittily. 'Apart from the fact your emotions must still be haywire from that episode yesterday, it wouldn't do either of us any good to let our biological urges get out of hand.'That snapped her quickly out of her trance. 'You're so right,' she came back pertly, only just holding back 'as usual', wanting to tell him he'd be so lucky it should get that far that she would ever let her biological urges get out of hand again. She tried to think of something brilliantly cutting to add, but by the time she had, Nash had been gone a full five minutes.The couple of hours sitting out of bed were completely wasted, she considered, when Ellie, no doubt sent by Nash, came to help her back to bed before serving her from the tea tray she had brought in with her.Perry hadn't enjoyed any of it. All she had done was rail silently against Nash that he could so unbalance the steadiness of her emotions just by looking as if he wanted to kiss her. And when she hadn't been railing against him she had been lashing herself with the, thought of how it could be that he disturbed her so, when up until yesterday she had been in love with Trevor. And more punishing self-analysis—did she still love Trevor?It was a fresh shock to discover that no, she did not. Yesterday she had thought it was because she felt numbed that there had been no feeling in her for the man who had shown an ugly side to him. But she was no longer numbed, and couldn't help wondering, had it been his attack on her that had killed her feelings stone dead? Or was it that she had never loved Trevor so wholeheartedly as she had thought anyway?
CHAPTER TENPERRY checked her watch when she wakened in the same bed she had slept in for the past nine nights, saw it was nearly seven and decided she would stay put for another half hour. As it was Sunday she suspected Ellie liked to have a lie in, and though she felt well enough now to go down and make a start on the breakfasts, knew Ellie would frown over such an action.Both Ellie and her husband Bert had been so kind to her, she reflected, recalling Bert had taken her into the nearest shopping centre with him on Friday when he had gone. He hadn't wanted to, she'd known that, she thought with a smile, remembering his, 'I can bring you back anything you're short of,' just as if he had known Nash hadn't bothered packing her cosmetics.'Please, Bert,' she pleaded, and saw his glance at Ellie for guidance.'If you're sure it's not going to be too much for you,' he had given in at last. But she hadn't missed the way he watched over her like a mother hen, going with her and waiting while she selected a lipstick.Everybody had been wonderful to her, she mused. Even Nash, when she had thought she would get very short shrift from him after that episode a week yesterday. That episode when he had as good as told her with his '... it wouldn't do either of us any good to let our biological urges get out of hand' that like that other time he was still ruled by his head and wasn't about to do anything to make their divorce the harder to come by. Oddly, though, with the many conversations she had with him since, the subject of the divorce had never had an airing.She hadn't expected to see him again that Saturday, and had not. But Sunday morning he had strolled into her room as though nothing out of the way had taken place, his_ manner easy as he had asked how she was. So easy in fact she had forgotten she was going to have her nose in the air the next time she saw him, and had found herself replying, her manner just as easy, 'Fine, thanks.' Though she hadn't forgotten she was determined on going home the next day. 'So well, in fact,' she'd added, 'I think I'll go back tomorrow:' She had said the wrong thing; she knew it as straight away his mood had changed.'For God's sake,' he had barked, 'you can't still be hankering after Coleman after what he tried to do to you.'Stunned that he was thinking she couldn't wait to get back Trevor, she was speechless for a moment, then she felt her ire rise and was ready to hold her own.'Trevor has nothing to do with it.''No?'She knew in that one hard spat out word that he didn't believe her. 'No,' she snapped, 'he hasn't,' and glared at him, mentally getting her sleeves rolled up for the right royal battle that was to come.Only it didn't come. Unexpectedly Nash's expression relaxed, and he'd perched himself on her bed, his eyes laughing even if his mouth wasn't.'Right, little Miss Fury,' he said calmly. .'Tell why, after agreeing on Friday to spend a few weeks in the peace and serenity of the country, you've suddenly decided—after less than forty-eight hours—you've had enough.''I ...' she began, trying to remember when it was she had ever voluntarily agreed to anything he suggested, 'Well—there's my job, for one thing,' she blurted out. 'I have to get back to work. Mr Ratcliffe ...''Mr Ratcliffe won't be expecting you to return for two weeks, if then,' Nash told her with the air of knowing something she didn't confidently.'He won't?''I put through a call to him on Thursday acquainting him with the details of your accident.' He smiled suddenly, and she didn't know whether to smile with him or hit the smile from his face when, with a great deal of charm, he said, 'I thought you'd like me to do that for you.' And before she could draw breath to ask her next question, he answered it just as though he understood she was wondering how he knew who her employer was, 'Mrs Foster told me where you worked.'Flabbergasted, not wanting to admit the dry way in which he delivered statements had the strangest knack of making her lips want to twitch, solemnly she stared at him. 'For all you're feeling "fine",' he went on, seeing she hadn't anything to come back with, 'I doubt you'd be able to manage the stairs up to your flat without feeling ready to collapse at the top.' And going on with logic she couldn't fault, damn him, not to say playing on her conscience, 'Mrs Foster disregarded the great pain it caused her to climb the stairs to you once before. Do you honestly believe she wouldn't again brave her disability to investigate your wellbeing if she thought you were too quiet up above her?'He had won easily, then, though she had brought the subject up against last Thursday—the first day she had been allowed to have dinner downstairs. But before she had got properly started he had smoothly headed her off— so smoothly that even now she wasn't sure if it had been deliberate or not as he had apologised for being late home, going on to tell her how one of the directors, an arthritis sufferer, had been at a meeting that day when he had seized up through sitting too long—that word arthritis getting to her. Since he was unable to drive himself, it had been Nash who had driven him home, thereby delaying his own arrival home.Expressing her immediate sympathy for the stricken director, Perry had recalled the days when Mrs Foster's bones seized up and she had needed help. And as Nash had gone on to regale her with some amusing incident, the idea of asking to go with him to London tomorrow had faded.I will ask him to take me home tomorrow, Perry vowed, seeing it was now twenty past seven and deciding she'd had enough of bed, and she collected the clothes she was going to wear and headed for the bathroom. Some of her bruises had gone, others were fading. And though in all truth she wasn't sure she felt up to tackling a full day's work, she was certainly fit enough to be back in her own home. And able, she felt confident, to impress on Mrs Foster that she had no need at all to worry about her and make what must be an agonising journey up the stairs.Her mind set on tackling Nash without delay, Perry, in smart fawn corduroy pants and brown jersey shirt, left her room, pausing only briefly on her way downstairs to admire the fine oak panelling, the, magnificent pictures placed here and there, more intent on finding Nash. She found the breakfast room empty, but turned undaunted, determined to seek him out, only to meet Ellie coming in having heard her and ready to serve her breakfast.'I was looking for Nash,' Perry said, after greeting Ellie, who always had a smile for her.'He's been in his study since before seven,' Ellie told her warmly. 'Catching up, he said, when I told him he ought to leave his office at his office.'Her plans knocked on the head by the knowledge that Nash wouldn't be in a very receptive mood if she interrupted him while he was working, Perry wondered if he ever gave work a rest.'Does he live in his study every weekend?' 'Bless you, no,' said Ellie promptly—which cheered Perry to think he did rest sometimes. Though why it should bother her that his nose wasn't always to the grindstone,she couldn't fathom. 'It's only because you're here that he's behind.''Me!' Perry exclaimed, having not a clue how she could be the culprit. She didn't see Nash during his working day, for one thing. And though she thought of him often during the day—she frowned as she realised the truth of that thought—she was positive that, once enmeshed in his work, he never gave her another thought. 'I never see him until he comes home!' she further exclaimed.'That's it,' Ellie pounced, not making her any the wiser. Then she added, 'Until he brought you to Greenfields we never saw Nash from Monday to Friday, since he preferred to work late into the night if need be so he could have most weekends free at home.' Smiling broadly now, Ellie went on, 'As you know, he's come home every night this week.''So the work he hasn't stayed to finish at night has been piling up,' Perry said slowly, seeing very clearly, more guilt added to her conscience, the inroads she had made into his time.'I know which he would rather do,' said Ellie, her cheerful good humour telling Perry she thought that in his view the Devereux Corporation could go hang if Nash had to choose between it and the intended reconciliation he wanted with his wife. 'Would you like breakfast now or did you want to go in to see Nash first?' Ellie asked, not seeing she had given Perry more than enough food for thought. 'I'd better have breakfast since Nash is so busy,' she replied, and didn't believe it when Ellie told her Nash wouldn't mind if it was she who disturbed him, that he would be delighted to see her.After she had eaten she wandered, about outside, musing that she had plenty to thank Nash for, that to say she wanted to leave couldn't sound any other than ungrateful.Oh, why did everything have to be so complicated?As she had not strayed very far from the house her eyes ranged over the acres of tree-strewn land Nash owned. It was so lovely here any other girl would be thrilled at the idea of being able to stay another week—so why wasn't she?Aimlessly she dawdled over the gravelled drive, ruminating on the question. Then all at once, gasping suddenly, an answer came—an answer that shook her to her very foundations, and had her standing stock still.Still gasping at the unwanted truth going round in her head, in her heart region, she stared unseeing at the scene that moments before had enchanted. The answer rocked her. She had to leave, leave before it was too late! Go now —or she wouldn't want to go at all!Shattered, Perry stood unmoving, facing the reason why Nash occupied so many of her thoughts. Why he was able to make her laugh as often as he had this week. Why the chemistry in her had her not only firing up at him angrily from time to time, but why that same chemistry had had her melting in his arms as far back—and just then it seemed aeons away;—as the time she had thought she had been in love with Trevor.She hadn't been in love with Trevor, that positive knowledge came hurtling in. But if she didn't look sharp and get out of here, she stood a very good chance of facing the worst heartache of her life! She, unutterable idiot, was half way to falling head over heels in love with Nash Devereux—the husband who had strength sufficient to kill the headiest physical desire at the merest hint that he might find himself married for real. Some hours later, knowing she would be called to account if she didn't present herself in the dining room, she thanked her guardian angel that Nash was still working.'Nash is having his meal on a tray,' Ellis informed her. And beaming brightly, 'But he said he was nearly through. So you'll still have a good part of the day. to spend together.Managing the best she could to find a smile, Perry tucked into her melon and grapefruit starter. She had swung from a very definite intention of seeking Nash out and getting her departure date settled, to now being afraid to face him in case when she saw him the message she suspected her heart of transmitting to her brain turned out to be terrifyingly true.She didn't linger in the dining room, the ridiculous notion playing on her nerves as she refused coffee that Nash might take it into his head to leave his study and come to share a cup.It was these same nerves attacking that had her going out the back way so she shouldn't have to pass his study, afraid as she was of bumping into him if his work was finished.Her nerves threatening to get out of hand she entered the rear courtyard and saw Bert so engrossed with his head under the bonnet of his A40 he would have no idea had she gone by without speaking. But she liked Bert, and stopped, hoping a few moments spent in idle chat might have a calming influence on her agitation.'Spot of trouble?' she enquired, wincing for him as his head shot up and came into contact with metal. 'Sorry,' she said quickly, thankful it was more a tap than a bang his head received.'Not really,' Bert answered, always seeming to have time for her. 'Though I fancy a new air filter wouldn't come amiss.'Perry found him easy to talk with and listen to. Bert carried on with his servicing as he told her he was meeting a fellow model railway enthusiast in London next Saturday, that they were going to an exhibition, and that he wanted to make certain the car would behave itself on the way. Feeling much less anxious some ten minutes later, about to go on her way, all at once Perry was back to feeling full of anxiety again. For round the corner of the house, a jacket over his arm, hers if she wasn't mistaken, came Nash.Manlike, he poked his head beneath the bonnet of the A40, passing comment to Bert, then turning to Perry observed by way of explanation for the jacket in his hands:'When I couldn't find you downstairs I went to your room. Coming for a walk?' and obviously not expecting any answer but yes, he held her jacket up for her to put her arms in.No, said her head. 'Yes, all right,' she heard her non-objecting heart answer. And before she could change her mind she found he had taken hold of her arm and was walking her away from the house, telling her they wouldn't go far and she must tell him immediately she began to feel tired.'I'm not an invalid,' she protested, not knowing who she was most cross with, him or herself.'You're not in a very good mood either, are you?''Sorry,' she found herself instantly apologising, and knew then that her heart was winning over her head.'Consider yourself forgiven,' he said, interrupting their walking to stop and place a brief kiss on the end of her nose, setting up the most unimaginable riot inside her, before they walked on.Not trusting herself to come back with anything, Perry stayed quiet for the next five minutes as they trudged across a field, hedgerows bursting with all manner of delights for anyone with an eye to see.'How are you sleeping?' he asked suddenly, causing her to hope if they were to have conversation it wasn't going to be about her health, a subject she was growing weary of.'Splendidly,' she answered, having second thoughts and thinking it a pretty innocuous subject anyway. At least she'd been able to answer his first question honestly enough.'You haven't been troubled by nightmares since that first one?' he probed.'No, thank goodness,' she replied, still able to recall vividly the waking part of her nightmare.'Good,' he said, then casually, 'Still think about him?'He meant Trevor, of course. And though she found it amazing that a couple of days could go by with Trevor never entering her mind, to have Nash thinking she was as fickle as he found the rest of womankind was something her heart didn't want.'What do you think?' she parried—and saw he didn't think a great deal of her answer.'I think you're a fool to give him another moment's thought,' he said roughly, and let go her arm as they came to a gate. He made no move to open the gate, however, but rested his elbow on the top and turned to look at her, his grey eyes narrowed so that she wondered what else was coming.'This other man—the man you loved before Coleman. What happened to him?''Other man?' she exclaimed, usually just about able to keep up with him, but this time finding he had lost her.'The man you must have loved more, by the sound of it,' Nash elucidated, his grey eyes steady on hers. 'Coleman said you hadn't been to bed with him but that there'd been someone else before him.'Straightaway then Perry recalled Trevor's assumption that with her being married, it naturally followed... 'Er—there wasn't—er—hasn't been anybody,' she stammered, not comfortable with the direction the conversation was taking.She saw Nash didn't believe her before he turned some of the contempt so far reserved for Trevor her way. 'I thought you'd grown out of the habit of trying to pull the wool over my eyes,' he said cuttingly, and turned abruptly away to unlatch the gate so they should walk through.But anger at having her honesty questioned had senther embarrassment fleeing. 'I'm not telling lies!' erupted from her as she refused to move a step. And, made angrier still that when Nash turned and his watching eyes were showing he still didn't believe her, 'Trevor Coleman's only foundation for thinking I'd had a...' she faltered at what she was about to say, but was too furious not to finish it, '... a lover was the fact he discovered about me being married.' She saw Nash's eyebrows shoot up as. he got there before her clearer explanation came. 'He thought—thinks—must have done, that our marriage was a—normal one.' Fed up suddenly, she presented him with her back, not sure she wanted to carry on with their walk.In two minds about marching off and leaving him, suddenly, she felt a hand come down on either shoulder and felt Nash turning her to face him. With hostile eyes she looked up—then all hostility vanished.Somehow, whether by weighing up what he so far knew about her, or by just plainly believing what she said, she didn't know, but somehow doubt was going from him and incredulity grew in its place..'You mean . ...' he began. Then, all doubt gone, 'Oh, my ...' he began, but didn't finish that either as he took her in his arms, his head drawing nearer. And it was another world to her to feel the warm gentle touch of his mouth on hers.It had meant to be a kiss of apology, she knew, but the chemistry in her that had a habit of over-reacting when Nash kissed her had her arms going up and around him, so that although he pulled his head back to look at her, the invitation on her sweet face was replied to.His mouth on hers again, the pressure firming, her body pulled closer up against his, had her responding wildly. She felt his hands beneath her jacket pulling her closer still, and moaned softly from the sheer pleasure such closeness with him gave. She knew then as his lips left her to stray to her throat that whatever he asked of her she would give, willingly.'Oh, Nash,' she groaned, unable to save herself, and felt his mouth quieting hers as his hands caressed from the back of her to the front, every caressing movement causing a shiver of delight to take her.That was until she heard him murmur, 'I'm not sure you're up to this.' And then she cared not that his concern for her welfare had made him wonder if she was fit enough to be made complete love to. She saw only that even while she could tell he desired her, Nash Devereux would never let himself be so far gone in any situation that he failed to think with cold clarity.Angry, with herself more than him, she later thought, that while his brain had still been ticking over she hadn't been thinking at all, she jerked out of his arms.'Good heavens, Nash,' thank God for pride, 'you really didn't think I intended to go all the way, did you?' She didn't like the way his eyes were narrowing, but managed to find something that would do for a light scornful laugh as she reminded him, 'Haven't I only just told you ...' flying into her head came the words he had once used, 'I'm a good girl, I am?'Her scorn had pricked him, she saw that as he stared grimly at her. 'So you say,' he said derisively,' but I hope you won't think me too much of a' cad,' his tone was hard as he bit out, 'if I remark on the bloody good imitation you gave that you weren't.'Perry was haring off across the field as his, 'Walk, don't run,' was bellowed after her. And she wanted to scream, 'Go to hell!' because, even furious with her as he was—no doubt because this time it had been she who had halted their lovemaking before that divorce was made 'the harder to come by' —that hard calculating part of him could remember she had been injured and was not up to tackling a sprint yet.She was out of breath when she reached the house and leaned on the hall table to catch her breath, the telephone it housed making her jump when it suddenly shrilled. She ignored it, her temper gone, ready to cry at what Nash could so effortlessly do to her.But the phone didn't stop ringing. It forced her to forget her feelings as she realised that with Bert most likely still outside servicing his car, and Ellie taking the opportunity of putting her feet up this Sunday afternoon, it was left to her to answer it.She picked up the instrument, spotted a telephone pad and a pencil and was ready to take a message as she read out the number from off the dial.'Put Nash on, will you,' ordered a bossy female voice, sending darts of jealousy spearing.'He's not in,' Perry said more sharply than she meant, though whoever it was at the other end didn't deserve any better if she thought this was the way to talk to Nash's hired help.'Who is that?' The voice had sharpened too, firing Perry's wilting spirit.With the greatest of pleasure she delivered, 'Mrs Nash Devereux—may I ask who you are?'Moments of silence were her answer. Then the voice altered, and a bitchiness came through. 'So your turn to be installed at Greenfields, is it?' Jealousy wasn't limited to darts as great shafts of that emotion took Perry at the implication that whoever the woman at the other end was, she had once been installed in Nash's home. Wanting badly to slam down the phone, Perry found just sufficient control to hang on, and heard a tinkly laugh followed by, 'Make the most of it, my dear—I assure you it won't be for long. Tell Nash Elvira rang ...' Perry didn't wait to hear what else Elvira Newman had to say. Just hearing her name, recalling the beauty photographed with Nash at the airport, was enough to lose the scant control she had. The phone was banged down and she was in her room before she remembered Nash had told her he hadn't wanted to be met at the airport by the press— or anyone.That should have made her feel better, but with the realisation she could no longer avoid facing—her jealousy, the way she couldn't help by respond to him just two pointers—that she had passed the stage where she thought she might be falling in love with Nash. She was in love with him, and there was no 'might be' about it.Knowing full well if she followed her inclination and didn't go down to dinner he would see it as his duty to come up to enquire if her dash back to the house had exhausted her, Perry joined Nash downstairs with only a minute to spare before mealtime.Oh, to have a fraction of his sophistication, she thought, that his anger with her gone he didn't bat an eyelid when referring to her racing away from him and hoping she suffered no ill effects!'I'm fine,' she said quietly, and took her place at the table. There were many times as dinner progressed when Nash said something that at any other time would have had her lips twitching, or even laughing outright. But Elvira Newman's intimation that she had once been installed in Nash's home, without question as his mistress, just wouldn't stop gnawing away at her.'Your attempt to be athlete of the year has taken more out of you than you're admitting,' he said suddenly, causing Perry, who had been staring into her coffee cup, to realise he had been closely observing her while she had been picking at her meal. 'You've barely eaten anything. You'd better have an early night.'About to snap 'Yes, doctor,' she felt pain that he was clearly saying he'd had enough of her company. 'What a good idea,' she said, her pain giving her tongue a sarcastic edge.Ignoring that his eyes were starting to glint, she picked up her cup intending to drain it and go. Then realised she \ would have to tell him about the telephone call, that or have his smart brain wondering why she hadn't when hefound out, as he surely would the next time he saw Elvira Newman.'By the way, I've just remembered,' she said without blinking, 'Elvira Newman rang.'She wished she knew what he was thinking. She was aware his eyes were upon her, and avoided looking at him by taking several sips of her coffee. Then she heard him casually ask:'Did she say what she wanted?''I have no idea.' Perry placed her cup in its saucer, a knife turning inside, and her hurt wouldn't be held in any longer. 'Apart from charmingly remarking on its being my turn to be installed, and telling me it wouldn't be for long, she had little else to say.'As soon as she had repeated the bitchy remarks she wished she hadn't. But it was too late then in the lengthening pause to pull them back. And then Nash was causing her agonies that he had immediately guessed at her jealousy.'So that's what's been niggling away at you.' About to hotly deny it, Perry was awash with relief when she heard the different construction he had for the solemn dinner partner she had been. 'Your good-girl morality objects strongly to anyone thinking you're here as my mistress.''I told her I was your wife—Well, that I was Mrs Nash Devereux,', she said, and could have groaned out loud that she had just cut her own throat by sweeping away the excuse he had handed her for being unsmiling throughout dinner. 'Well, she asked who I was,' she added, just in case" Nash thought she had adopted proprietorial rights and volunteered the information.'So you put her right on that score,' he said, and she could almost hear him crossing off one of his conclusions. 'So what is it that's upset you, Perry?' And he crossed off another. 'It can't be because I kissed you, you had the last laugh there.' Her eyes shot to him to hear him admit he hadn't liked it when she had broken away from him.She couldn't hold his look; she wished he would leave it alone. About to follow up his suggestion that she had an early night, say that she was tired, anything, anything rather than have him discerning that for the first time in her life jealousy was plaguing her, she opened her mouth to plead tiredness and found Nash there before her with fresh calculations.'It is your sense of morality, as I first thought, isn't it?' And suddenly his voice was a shade kinder. 'Does it offend your sense of decency that I might have installed Elvira here for the purpose of...''No. No, of course not,' she butted in quickly before her plain-speaking husband could finish. 'Good grief, Nash, you may have discovered that I ...' She wished she hadn't interrupted, and couldn't finish the sentence.'That you don't—indulge,' he finished it for her, and she hurriedly took over again.'But that isn't to say that I'm entirely unaware of what goes on around me.' She found, regardless of what she said, that he still thought her sense of morality had been offended.'Would it make you feel better,' he said kindly, 'if I told you Elvira Newman has never been here?'It did. Perry's heart began to sing again. But she wasn't going to make the mistake of looking at him so he could see how his words affected her. She pushed her coffee cup away and stood up, now ready to leave, fighting all she could for a touch of his sophistication So he shouldn't know God was in her heaven, for the moment, and all was right with her world.'Good heavens, Nash,' she said, making for the door and finding he was there to open it for her, 'it doesn't bother me in the slightest who you have here—I won't be here much longer myself, will I?'Oh, how she wished, as she lay in bed that night praying for sleep, that she hadn't needled him with her lofty attitude. 'That's true,' he had agreed, 'you won't.' And as though he couldn't wait for the day she would be fit enough to leave—sounding a death knoll to any foolish hopes her ridiculous heart might have thought to nurse—he told her bluntly, 'There's no room in my life for permanent—arrangements.'Having spent a night wrestling with her pride, Perry rose early the next morning, fully determined Nash was going to take her back to London when he went. But she was to find that, as early as she had arisen, Nash was an earlier bird—he had already left when she went downstairs looking for him.Disgruntled at experiencing a twinge of relief at the chance to spend another day in his home, to be able to see and touch things he knew, she hardened her heart, making up her mind that even if it meant camping out in his car all night, Nash was going to take her with him when he left tomorrow morning. But that plan too was doomed to failure. For Nash didn't come home that night. Nor did he come home any of the following three nights.'He's busy, I expect,' Ellie thought she was consoling when dinner was finished on Thursday evening and still no sign of him. Poor Ellie, Perry couldn't help thinking. Ellie had set her heart on the reconciliation and must now be wondering what on earth Nash was playing at. Especially since last week, regardless of his work load, he had returned each night.'I expect he is,' she answered, knowing that, pressure of work or not, the reason Nash wasn't putting in an appearance at Greenfields was because she was there. And that, she found, was something she just couldn't live with.Straightaway after breakfast the next morning she asked Ellie where Bert was, and at her enquiring look, had to tell her, 'I wondered if he'd give me a lift to the station.''Oh, Perry,' cried Ellie, 'Nash will be home tonight, I feel sure.'Perry was sure he wouldn't be, nor any time while she was still there. 'He won't,' she said with conviction, and saw Ellie's loyalty to Nash was being put under a great strain as clearly she only just bit back some disapproving remark about her master's cavalier behaviour.'Don't go by train,' Ellie urged, her loyalty to Nash winning the day. 'I don't think you realise how ill you've been, and a train journey, bundling your case with you, will undo all the healing work of the past fortnight.'About to say she felt returned to full health—which was true—for her sins, Perry couldn't resist the appeal of Ellie's persuasions as she quickly pressed.'Look, Bert is going to London tomorrow. Why not go with him?' and, warming to the idea, 'Another day won't hurt, surely, and Bert can take you right to your door with your case.'It sounded common sense, Perry thought, weakening. Her pride could still be salved without depriving herself of another day in Nash's home.'All right,' she conceded, and saw Ellie was all smiles again as she told her Bert would be leaving at nine sharp, and she'd let him know to expect a passenger.Perry spent the day taking a last look round, standing for long moments mentally photographing everything in her mind. Her heart sore that any future dealing she had with Nash would be dealt with through the auspices of her solicitor. His absence this week, without his cutting remark of having no room in his life for permanent arrangements, had shown that if she was ever to try and get on top of the love she had for him, then she had to make a clean break, go ahead with the divorce and sever that tie with him.But as she came into the house from the rear about six that evening, her conviction that she would never see Nash again disintegrated into nothing. For there he was coming in through the front door, dark business suit, briefcase in hand, car coat flung carelessly over his arm, tall, virile, and her heart pumping wildly, so wonderful to see.Controlling her lips, the smile that wanted to break out like a burst of sunlight, Perry looked anywhere but at him as she approached the foot of the stairs, arriving there at the same time as him:'Hello, stranger,' she remarked, so casually that she had to think herself there must be some brilliant actress buried deep inside her somewhere.Nash's hand on her shoulder stayed her when she would have started up the stairs. 'Miss me?' he enquired, his manner easy as he looked down into her face, checking to see if she had improved, she guessed.'About the same as you've missed me, I should imagine,' she avoided the question. 'And in answer to your next query, I'm hale and hearty and...' her voice wavered as his arm came about her shoulders as he began to climb the stairs beside her, 'and ready to go back to work,' she managed to finish, knowing her breathlessness in mounting the stairs had nothing at all to do with the physical effort involved.They had reached the top before Nash commented, 'You are, are you?'She nodded, unable to resist a quick look at his face. 'I—we didn't think we'd see you before I left—I'm going home tomorrow.' She saw thunder in the way his look instantly darkened, and went on hurriedly, 'B-Bert's giving me a lift. S-so I'm glad you've come home. I shouldn't like to have gone without—without thanking you for all ...''You can thank me at dinner,' he bit abruptly, and left her standing.Well! Stupefied, Perry stared after him, wondering how it was possible, after five days of longing to see him, that within the space of three minutes of doing just that he had her growing angry with him. Did he have to be so rude, so taciturn?When Perry went down to dinner, ready to ignore him if he treated her so abruptly again, she discovered Nash was in a much more agreeable mood. 'Sherry?' he offered, his eyes on her in the brown velvet dress he had thought to pack for her. And handing her the small glass she had requested, 'May I be permitted to say how beautiful you are?'Smitten by shyness suddenly, she couldn't handle the unexpected compliment. 'It's the dress that does it,' she said, and saw with pleasure going out of all proportion the way he smiled and shook his head as if to say her dress had nothing to do with it. He then told her how much he liked her dress, which again pleased her, making her glad he didn't think, as Trevor had done, that it made her appear remote. Then she heard him ask:'But it isn't one you made yourself, is it?''I did,actually,' she said, and realised then that if she grew any more pleased at his remarks, he was very shortly going to guess how completely ready to melt she was from any kind word he tossed her way.'How's business?' she enquired, swiftly turning the subject to matters that stood no chance of a comeback remark that would have her ready to let him walk all over her.The corners of his mouth turned endearingly upwards. 'I should worry,' he said, his smile becoming a grin. 'With the wife I have the Corporation could fold tomorrow and I wouldn't have to wonder where my next shirt was coming from.'The glow he caused in her by referring to her as his wife stayed with Perry as they went into the dining room. And with Nash being at his most charming, as second course followed first course, she became enchanted. But it was when Ellie came in to serve the last course, looking moist-eyed at her as she observed how perfectly they were getting on, the harmonious atmosphere, that she shook Perry into realising the reconciliation Ellie thought Nash wanted, must from where she was standing look a certainty. It was then that Perry fell crashing back to earth.'I'm pleased to see you're looking much better than you did a week ago,' Nash commented as Ellie closed the door on her way out.'I'm completely recovered,' Perry answered, the glow in her gone leaving her feeling flat. She forced a bright smile. 'That's why after tomorrow you won't have to put up with me anymore. Thank you so much, Nash ...' she began to trot out. 'What's the sudden hurry to get back to London?'His abrupt question, his chopping her off before she could finish, charm gone, had her knowing he didn't want her thanks, and. didn't like either that she was now well enough to make her own decisions.'It's where I live,' she said, not wanting to argue with him, not now, not on her last night in his home. 'It's where I work.''You're not fit to go back to work,' he said shortly, astounding her, for only seconds ago he had been commenting on how well she was looking.'Yes, I am,' she argued, for all an argument was the last thing she wanted.'Is it because of Coleman you want to go back?' he asked harshly. Trevor! What had he got to do with anything? Perry's lips firmed that Nash could think she still hankered after Trevor after what he had done.'It's none of your business,', she snapped rudely, and saw straightaway as his eyes glinted that he didn't care a whole heap for her speaking to him that way.'I'm making it my business,' he told her grimly. 'He isn't the man for you, so you can put all ideas of marrying him out of your head. I'm not divorcing you, so you can ...''You're not divorcing me!'Suddenly there was spirit firing up in her. Spirit given a boost by the pain of knowing Nash didn't want her himself—didn't want her, yet thought he had an entitlement to discard or approve any man who did. The pain in her knew no rationalisation as, on her feet, her voice rising—either that or break down and weep at the rejection she felt—she yelled:' You don't hold the option!' And in her hurt not above throwing in a red herring, 'With Trevor and his mother knowing about my marriage I have no need to worry about any publicity ensuing from our divorce!'She broke off as his eyes glittered dangerously, then backed to the door as he too stood. She knew tears weren't very far away and, afraid he might hold her there, yanked open the door and, in defiance before tears, delivered her parting salvo.'I'm not waiting for you to divorce me, Nash Devereux. I shall see my solicitor about an annulment on Monday!'She had been weeping on and off for a full five minutes when the sound of male footsteps halting outside her bedroom door had the tears promptly ceasing.Hastily she brushed the dampness from her eyes, then stared fascinated, her heart thumping crazily, as the door handle turned. She watched, her eyes going wide, as Nash stepped into her room.'What...' was all she managed to choke, her thoughts chaotic at the purposeful way he closed the door behind him.'You've been crying,' were the first words he spoke. And as he came nearer Perry had to fight as hard as she could against the vulnerability she was feeling.'I can cry if I w-want to.''Why should you want to?' There was a tenderness in his tone, and when she couldn't or wouldn't answer, he leaned forward and placed a kiss that was a caress on both her eyes.'Nash, I ...' she tried, for already her bones were traitorously ready to melt. She tried with all she had left to get herself together, and asked, hoping for a coldness that just wasn't there, 'What do you want, Nash?' 'I don't want you to cry anymore,' he said softly, his hands coming to her shoulders, imperceptibly drawing her closer. Lightly his mouth came to whisper a kiss across hers, firing in her that same old instant response. 'Your eyes are too beautiful to know the sadness of tears,' he said gently, and there was there in his voice a sensitivity to her distress that when he went to kiss her lightly again, Perry found herself meeting him halfway.'Nash.' She whispered his name without knowing why, but felt no panic as lightly once more he kissed her. Reason told her she had no need to panic. Nash had always been ruled by his head. He kissed her again, and wanting, needing his kisses, she couldn't help but listen to the voice that urged why shouldn't she have them. He wouldn't let it go too far, she could be certain of that. Hadn't she had proof of that in the past? 'My beautiful Perry,' he breathed, his face not smiling as his eyes devoured her face, his glance going from her mouth to her eyes and to her lips again.Arid it was then she gave herself up to the heady delight of his kisses, knowing that at whatever point he chose to break off his lovemaking she would have this rapturous feeling he aroused to remember—for break off he would.In the circle of his arms she stood returning his kisses without reservation, hungry to be held by him, to be kissed, to kiss back. His hands caressed her, but as she knew he wouldn't, he made no move to take her nearer to the bed. Minutes of giving and taking slipped by in his arms as he awakened a need in her for more, yet more.But colour flooded her face when his hands came to her zip and her dress fell to the floor. Her eyes met his, and she knew he had observed her flushed cheeks, when with his mouth curving softly, he asked:'Would you feel better if I put out the light?'Perry nodded, feeling cold in the moments he was away, and then hot all over, when he had her in his arms once more, to find he had shed his jacket.His hands pressed her to him, her thin covering no covering at all with their bodies so close. 'Oh, Nash,' she cried, when he undid her bra and disposed of it, his hands coming to cup her breasts, his lips on the hardened crowns making her clutch on to him.And it was then, when she heard Nash groan too, that, as she was half delirious from his lovemaking, the thought fluttered in that perhaps he did not intend leaving.She did not want him to leave as once more he pressed her to him, her love-swollen breasts meeting his warm hair-roughened chest, having no idea when he had removed his shirt; it was then something inside her wanted to hold back.'Nash!' she gasped, only to realise he was able to cope with this last-minute backing away.'It's all right, my love,' he gentled her, that "my love" enough to have her all his again. 'It's natural for you to be scared the first time—just trust me.'She did trust him. 'Oh, Nash, Nash!' she cried, comprehending only that he understood, no thought given that it didn't sound as though his hard-headed reason was going to get a hearing.When he picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bed, taking his arms from her briefly, Perry knew only a fevered longing to have his arms about her again.'My love,' he breathed, then he was lying with her, was naked, and so understanding of her shyness, she was able to deny him nothing.
CHAPTER ELEVENPERRY slept late, then stirred in her sleep, remembrance filtering through as she surfaced and was suddenly wide awake. With a half-smile on her lips she turned tentatively—and her smile died. Nash wasn't there.For several unnumbered minutes she was happy. Even without Nash beside her. her heart raced excitedly as she recalled that beautiful togetherness they had shared, the way he had overcome her shyness, succeeded so gently, so unhurriedly in drawing from her a passion new to her.They were sublime minutes for her, recapturing how without words she had given over her love. And then the gentle smile of remembrance began to fade, edged out by insecure wonderings of—had it been so marvellous for Nash too?Insecurity grew, nurtured by memory of the beautiful, sophisticated women she had seen photographed with him. Women who knew what it was all about. And with that insecurity crept in the question—why? 'Why had Nash lost his head last night? Why, when previously that cold clinical logic of his had stopped him? Last night she had looked very little different from that first time at her flat. She had even been wearing the same dress. Insecurity, doubt, mingled with her own logic, cold too in the light of day. And the unwanted thought could not be avoided—had he lost his head at all? A sickness invaded her, and suddenly she was out of bed, bathing, dressing, all in record time, as she tried to evade her thoughts. But unwanted thoughts followed every action.There was no way of evading them. No way she could avoid remembering the way she had rushed from the dining room in fear Nash would see her in tears. But her thinking had been clear when she had told him she was going to see about an annulment on Monday.Feeling winded, just as though she had received a body blow as the nightmare thought struck forcibly home, Perry clutched at her stomach. Had he deliberately made love to her in order to take away any chance of her getting that annulment?Nash was a man who liked to make the decisions, she knew that. And she saw then, too late, that she had angered him by saying she was going to see about an annulment on Monday.A dry choking, sound left her as she realised that what last night had been all about was that Nash objected to being dictated to by a woman. It had been the simplest thing in the world to take from her the chance of getting the marriage annulment she had so defiantly let him know she considered her right!Not wanting to believe he had cold-bloodedly, deliberately set about making love to her, she sank down on the bed, a cynicism entering her heart as she wondered what made her think she was different from any of the dozens of women he must have known. Dispiritedly, but now coldly angry, she eventually left her room ready with a few short sharp words should Nash wander out of his study.'Morning, Perry.'She turned to see Ellie coming from the kitchen area. 'Morning, Ellie,' from somewhere near the bottom of her boots she drummed up a smile.'Lovely day again,' Ellie said cheerfully, 'Ready for breakfast?' The thought of breakfast made Perry's stomach heave. 'Just coffee,' she answered, And because the question wouldn't stay down, 'Nash has had his breakfast, I suppose?''Ate heartily,' Ellie said with her usual smile. 'You've just missed him.''He's—er—-gone out?'Perry didn't know how she kept her face from crumpling, her last hope that she had got it all wrong dying, as Ellie confirmed he had. It just showed how much he cared.'Gone clay pigeon shooting, I expect. He does occasionally when he's home Saturdays. He ...' But Perry had heard enough. 'Bert hasn't gone yet, has he?' she asked, taking a speedy look at her watch to see it said a quarter past nine.Ellie's look was suspicious as she told her, 'He's later than he meant to be—he's just getting the car out...' Perry headed for the stairs in a hurry, Ellie's, 'What...' following her.'Tell him to hang on for me,' she called back and, not waiting to hear what Ellie had to say in answer to that, charged up to her room, collected the case she had packed yesterday, ignoring the brown velvet dress Nash had draped over a chair—she would never wear it again, Ellie could throw it away for all she cared—and was running downstairs terrified in case Ellie had not asked Bert to wait.She found both Bert and Ellie in the rear courtyard, Ellie looking so worried and disturbed that Perry put her arms round the housekeeper's wiry frame and hugged her. 'Goodbye, Ellie,' she said, and didn't dare look at her as she clambered into the car in case she relayed to Nash she had looked on the verge of tears.'What shall I tell Nash?' Ellie's bewildered-sounding voice reached her.'He won't expect me to be here when he gets back,' she told her, and was hard pressed not to break down at the truth of that as Bert, already later than he had meant to be, set the A40 in motion.How could she have stayed, she wondered, knowing hurt as it did, she was taking the only way open to her? Nash hadn't asked her to stay when she had told him she was leaving; he would expect her to be gone when he came back from his clay pigeon shooting. A fine fool she would have made of herself had she stayed! She could imagine the surprise on his face, the 'I thought you were going with Bert this morning' look. What would she have felt like then —the dejection she felt now added to? Her pride would have never again surfaced.'You never did get round to explaining the intricacies of model railways, Bert,' she said, turning to him, needing to get away and quickly from her thoughts, and for most of the drive had Bert eulogising on his favourite subject.They were nearly in London when one of the tyres punctured, a circumstance he hadn't allowed time for as he got the spare from the boot. Aware that he had been over fifteen minutes later setting off than he had intended and was anxious not to be late in picking up his friend, Perry waited only until they were on their way again to tell him:'No need to take me to my door, Bert, it's too far out of your way.'And when he wouldn't hear of it she insisted that she could easily get a taxi. But she still had to work on him for another ten minutes before he finally gave in.Once she had waved goodbye, wishing Bert a good time at his exhibition, she was in no hurry to get to her flat. Her suitcase was a nuisance, of course, but what was there to hurry home for? She had today and tomorrow to get through before she went to work on Monday—two days of probably sitting in her flat with only herself and thoughts she didn't want for company.She walked around until she found a cafe, spending pensive moments over coffee; then another coffee. Then a feeling of being stifled by her thoughts had her going outside, but still not wanting to go home. It was a real effort of will not to weep right there on the pavement as the thought' struck that she didn't want to return to her flat because it didn't seem like home any more. Greenfields, where Nash was, was home.In between resting her case she walked on, trying to come to terms with her empty future. She knew then that she was solving nothing by not wanting to return to her flat. She had some material there, she remembered, trying to turn her thoughts into other channels, so she could spend the weekend making something up. Never less enthusiastic, she had the luck at that moment to see a cruising taxi with its flag up.Sitting unhappily in the back of the cab, she composed herself to greet Mrs Foster. She would be pleased to see her, Perry knew that. And she'd have to look pleased to be back—but she wasn't. Yet she hadn't any choice.'Here we are, love.' Settling with the driver, Perry turned to hoist up her case from where he had set it down on the pavement. Then she blinked, and for one crazy moment thought she had gone off her head. For that was Nash's car parked outside Mrs Foster's, she was sure of it!But it couldn't be—he was off clay pigeon shooting somewhere! Don't be ridiculous, she steadied her palpitating heart. She didn't know his car number and there must be half a dozen cars that looked like his.She inserted her key in the front door, her heart resuming its dull beat. Was this how it was going to be? she wondered, turning to close the door. Everywhere she went something to remind her of him? She sighed. Better tap on Mrs Foster's door before she went up.A sound of movement behind her told her a tap on Mrs Foster's door wasn't necessary. She turned, a smile ready for her landlady, then her smile froze, her heart turned giddy again. It wasn't Mrs Foster who stood there tall and straight. It was Nash!! 'You're clay pigeon shooting,' she gasped idiotically. Then all that lay between them scattered all thought as a furious blush stained every visible part of her, memories crowding in, of his kisses tender on her skin, of not so long ago lying naked in his arms.She saw the smile that came to him as he observed her scarlet colour, but she found relief from embarrassment in hearing Mrs Foster limping to her door, and was glad of somewhere else to look.'Hello, Perry love,' Mrs Foster greeted her from her doorway. 'Oh, you do look better. You were such a poorly-looking girl when Mr Devereux took you away.Perry went over to her, hoping her colour was more normal as she greeted her landlady, ignoring the clamour in her heart region, the one thought only going round in her brain—What in heaven's name was Nash doing here?Then she heard him too speaking to her landlady, charm and sincerity there as he thanked her for the coffee she must have given him, adding to her disbelieving ears:'We'll call in and see you before we go.'We go! Wide-eyed, she stared at him, but without looking at her he had his hand beneath her elbow and was urging her towards the stairs.Stubbornly she refused to budge. 'What's ...' going on, she would have said had she the chance. 'Come on, darling,' he said smoothly, 'we don't want to keep Mrs Foster standing about, do we?'Darling! Utterly confused, Perry turned to Mrs Foster for guidance. 'I'll see you when you come down,' Mrs Foster told her, and mysteriously, 'I'm going to miss you, Perry.' Then she started to retreat inside her own apartments, leaving Perry open-mouthed. And whether she liked it or not she found she was being propelled up the stairs, her feet moving despite her determination not to budge an inch.When they reached her flat the door being ajar told her Nash had borrowed the spare key from her landlady. That in itself was sufficient cheek. But when reluctantly she went into her sitting room, she was staggered to see her spare suitcase and numerous cardboard boxes had been packed with all her personal possessions.'What...' she gasped, turning to a steady-eyed Nash, anger flaring that it looked as though she was being evicted, and it just had to have something to do with him. 'What the hell is going on?'It had been expecting too much to expect the Nash Devereux she knew to ever look ashamed. He didn't now, as casually, or so it seemed to her, he leaned up against the doorway and remarked:'I thought it might save time if I started your packing for you.' 'Packing!''I'd like to get back to Greenfields in time for lunch if we can.' And as cool as you like, 'Ellie said she would prepare something extra special for you.''Look here, Nash Devereux,' Perry exploded, beginning to see a chink of light, 'I'm going nowhere with you, Greenfields or—or anywhere else!' God, didn't he know how he was hurting her? One night in bed with her and he fancied keeping it up for a week or two, not much longer, she would bet on it. Anger spurted again. 'And...and I think you're the vilest creature imaginable that you know so little of me you think I would be agreeable to such an arrangement!'That shook him, she thought with satisfaction. She could see it had in the way he straightened from the door, that casual look leaving him. She even thought he had lost a little of his colour.'You mean you're—not agreeable? His voice had a hoarse ring to it, but she wasn't fooled. He might desire her now—for a short while—she reminded herself, feeling a weakness of wanting to be in his arms, but not for very long.'No, I am not' she said shortly, ignoring an inner voice that tried to tell her she was mad to think of forgoing afew weeks of love with him. 'And—I think it's despicable of you to suggest such a thing!' Anger started to fade as another moment of wanting to give in took her, and she knew then she had to fight him all the way, oppose him, for if she didn't she might find herself giving in. Weakness was controlled, anger she needed there again to help her. 'You've got the wrong girl, Nash,' she said heatedly. 'Last—last night I let—let you get to me. But,' her voice that had gone shaky, strengthened, 'But you know better than most that I've never gone in for—temporary arrangements.' She saw his brow clear, and wanted to hit him as his mouth began to curve as the words, 'I don't intend starting now,' left her.'Who told you it would be a temporary arrangement?' he had the nerve to ask.Open-mouthed, in no way believing he had suddenly decided to change his life style, Perry reminded him. 'You did. That afternoon—evening, after Elvira Newman phoned. You said then ...'She didn't need to remind him, he had instant recall.'I've said a lot of things,' he told her, coming away from the door, his approach having her backing away, afraid of that magic in his touch. 'Too many damn things, in my fight against the power of you.''Power of me?'She stood rooted as he neared her, felt that thrilling tingle shoot through her when he took hold of her by her upper arms. 'You've known from that first evening, the evening we came here after dining out, that I desired you.'Yes, she knew that. It had been a mutual desiring, she hadn't been able to stop herself anyway. 'But not enough to have you ignoring that cold logic you have in your brain that told you you would mess up the divorce if you heeded that desire,' she said, pulling out of his grip and backing away again while she still could.This time Nash didn't follow her, but stood watching her as he admitted the truth of what she was saying. 'I can't deny it,' he agreed. 'Marriage was something I'd avoided like the plague—a proper marriage, that is—so I got out.''Kiss and run,' she inserted, bitterness welling up inside that if she went with him, he wouldn't regard her as a proper wife—she would be his mistress for a short time, that was all.'If you like,' he said, his eyes still on her. Then he proceeded to shatter her by stating, 'But when I went to bed that night and couldn't get to sleep for thinking about you, I knew you could if I didn't watch it, start to get under my skin.'Under...' she gaped, never expecting to hear him admit such a thing.'That's why I agreed to the divorce,' he went on to tell her. And, never one for hiding in corners, 'I wanted you out of my life—out of my head.'Perry wondered why her heart wouldn't behave when all he was saying was that if under his skin she was, then the quickest way to get her out was to have her living with him. For it was as clear as day that once she was from under his skin, his desire-sated, she could go, and he would carry on the way he had always done.'So you thought by arranging for me to see Mr Leighton I would soon be out of your life. How dreadful of me to go and have an accident!' Sarcasm came to assist, but it didn't make her feel any better. 'A pity for you I had the certificate of marriage copy with me, wasn't it?''I'm not sure,' he said, when she had been positive he was always sure of everything.Her mouth firmed as she took that to indicate that he wasn't sure yet whether she was going with him or not. Then she felt her heart give another wild surge of hope as Nash added: 'It wasn't until I saw you in hospital, unconscious to the world, that I had to face the fact that what I'd been telling myself was untrue. It wasn't just desire for your body I felt. It hurt me that you were hurt.'That he should ever know pain on her account had her own feelings, the ache in her heart, promptly and completely disregarded. And there was a softness entering her voice as regretfully she said: 'Oh, Nash!'It was all the invitation he needed. In a few strides he was with her, looking down into her face as his arms wrapped loosely round her.'I began to suffer agonies on your account, my dear,' he told her gently. 'I found myself pacing the hospital corridor, and had to lecture myself sternly when you started to recover, that if I didn't watch it I would find myself in love with you.'Her heart went leaden. He had proved before he could master his emotions. Had the love that had started to grow in him for her been rooted out before it could take a hold? She knew it had.'It must have been most inconvenient for you to feel you had to take me into your home,' she said woodenly, and received a small shake from him that the softness in her had disappeared.'I had no intention of leaving you where that animal Coleman could get to you again,' he told her, all his warmth going as he said it. Then as she struggled to get out of his arms, he suddenly smiled, hanging on to her as he confessed, 'Taking you to Greenfields, I soon saw, was a very big mistake.'Perry stared at him, unable to comprehend why if it had been such a mistake he was now proposing that she should go back there with him.'You've lost me somewhere, Nash,' she told him. 'You've not long ago stated quite clearly that you want me back there as your mistress.' She went white at the answer she received.'Mistress and wife,' he said, his mouth curving, again at the shock in her eyes.Whether he thought she looked as though she would fall down if she didn't soon sit, she didn't know. But it was then that he led her over to the settee, to sit with her, to brush a stray strand of hair back from her face, as he explained, 'I didn't want to fall in love, didn't want a wife. But when I found I was tearing through my work each day so I could rush home to you, I knew I was facing the beginning of the end.' Happiness burst in on her. She felt the end of the rainbow was hers. Happiness didn't last. Insecurity chased it away as it had when she had awakened happy that morning. 'You didn't come home at all last week,' she reminded him, trying to get her voice to rise above the flatness she was feeling so he should not know how much having his love would mean to her.'And it was sheer hell not doing so,' he told her, which lifted her, but only briefly. 'I needed that self-inflicted punishment to make me realise what it would be like for the rest of my life if I didn't turn my back on every preconceived idea I'd ever held.'Dully Perry realised that whatever it was he was saying he felt for her, there was no spontaneity about it. His head would always rule him. Solemnly she looked at him, and Nash, seeing the unsmiling look of her, went on, urging:'Try to understand, Perry. From the day my mother walked out and I saw my father's utter despair I knew women could hurt if you let them get to you. I was fourteen and already wary of women when my father at last picked himself up and started to bring home one good-time girl after another. By the time I was twenty I knew marriage I could do without. The experience with Lydia cemented that opinion.' Perry wanted to interrupt him then to say that she did understand. How could she not with the example of her sex that had been thrust before him at a very tender age? She wanted to tell him that all women were not like the women he had known, but had little faith he would believe her.'I considered myself a confirmed bachelor,' he went on when no smile or word came from her. 'It was no part of my plan to have you in my system...'She did interrupt him then, finding her voice to say, 'Was it p-part of your plan to come home last night and ...' she nearly said seduce me, but if it had been seduction then he hadn't had any opposition, had he, 'and get me into bed with you?' she asked. Hurrying on when she received a dark look for what she was saying, 'I mean—well, if you wanted to get me out of your system...'Heart-searing thoughts were recalled. Painful, bitter thoughts of how it had been Nash's cold determination to be the one to take the decision when their marriage should be terminated that had brought him to her room, and she rushed on before he could speak:'You made sure an annulment was out of the question, didn't you?' she said, anger coming from her raw hurt. 'It was something the great Nash Devereux couldn't allow, wasn't it, that some woman should turn around and tell him what she was going to do about—about an—an entanglement he was part of.'She ran out of steam as Nash stared at her as though she had just stupefied him. 'My God,' he breathed, 'the nutty way your brain works! So that's why you ran out on me this morning. You thought—-' he looked completely nonplussed for a couple of seconds before he got his thoughts together. 'You actually thought I came to your room, took your virginity, simply because I was piqued that I wasn't running the show?''Well,' she said lamely, not likely to be made to think she had been doing some idiotic thinking, for all she hoped it was true. Had being in love with Nash scrambled her otherwise fairly uncluttered thinking? And, her intelligence at work again, 'You didn't stay around to tell me otherwise, did you? Ellie said you'd probably gone ...''Oh, Perry, my little love,' Nash said tenderly, 'I can see I shall have to spell it out for you, for all I thought that wonderful merging of minds, hearts and souls we shared last night said it all. Your statement that you wanted the marriage-annulled threw me, I'll admit, but that wasn't why I came to your room." 'It wasn't?''No, it was not,' he said unequivocally. 'I was as mad as hell after you'd gone, but as I started to cool down all I could remember was the way you looked before you so rapidly disappeared. You looked ready to break your heart,' he smiled then as he confessed. 'I found out then that whether you wanted an annulment or not, I just couldn't bear the thought of you upstairs breaking your little heart all alone. I just couldn't take it; I had to come and try to comfort you. And when I did, when I had you in my arms—well, I just lost my head.''You ...' Perry felt choked, unable to go on. Nash, the man she had always thought completely in control was admitting that when he had taken her in his arms and kissed her, the cold logic of his thinking had disappeared! Hope surged upward as with his arm about her he pulled her close as though never intending to let her go.'I'm in love with you, my lovely wife,' he said, his voice thickening. 'I came home last night with every intention of telling you so. I acted like a sore-headed bear when you greeted me with the news that you were leaving—tried to redress the balance at dinner—and we both know how that ended.'Perry found difficulty in swallowing. She stared wordlessly into warm grey eyes, unable to believe what Nash was saying, what the look on his face was saying. None of it could be happening. But it was like a symphony starting to play in her ears when Nash, seeing she was struggling, told her:'I have fought it, I can't deny—fought hard against the love I have for you. This need for you that makes home no place unless you're there.''Oh, Nash,' she whispered, unbelievable happiness singing inside her.'So please, please say you'll come back with me, because I swear there's no point in my calling any place homewithout you to come home to.'Shyly, love bursting in her, showing in her eyes. Perry raised a loving hand to touch the side of his face, and saw sincerity and a deep abiding love there in his eyes for her.'Oh, my love,' she said softly, using the words he had used when he had made love to her. 'Oh, Nash...' His name died on her lips as her answer given in the way she was, he crushed her to him, his mouth devouring hers, tiny kisses covering her face, joy in him, in his pounding heart beneath her hand.'Darling, darling girl,' he said tenderly when he pulled back so he could see into her shining eyes. 'Don't ever, ever give me a shock such as the one I received when I got back this morning.''You expected to find me there?' she asked huskily, her eyes feeding hungrily on his face.'I was completely stunned that you weren't. I just couldn't believe it, not after the way we'd been together.''You knew I was in love with you?' she asked shyly.'Say that again,' Nash broke off to urge. 'The last part.'Perry smiled. 'I love you very much,' she said, her voice low, and all was silent for long moments as he drew her close again, kissing her deeply. Love filled her flat as the kiss ended and they pulled back each to gaze at the other, until finally Perry just had to speak.'Ellie told you Bert had given me a lift?' He nodded, his eyes still on her as if he couldn't tear his look away. 'I couldn't believe it. For the only time in my life, I remember,' he revealed, 'I was so shattered that in jumping in my car and chasing after you I took the wrong route. By the time I'd sorted myself out and realised Bert would have gone another way I decided it would be better to come straight on here.''Was that when you decided to give my notice on this flat for me?' she asked, marvelling at the freedom in teasing him, seeing his unashamed, grin as he answered.'I thought I might do that as I drove along. The way we were when we were in each other's arms,' he paused to kiss her—he had to—before he continued, 'the way you'd been with me last night—You couldn't not love me, I thought, not and be so shyly willing to let me have your innocence.'Perry's face went a delightful pink. 'My darling! My beautiful shy love,' Nash murmured, and kissed her. She felt that her heart was pounding too as his hand covered it. 'My wife,' he said, the way he said it, satisfaction, undisguised happiness there, having her thrilling anew.Then as though the words 'my wife' had reminded him of something, his eyes never leaving her face, he said softly:'You haven't asked me where I went this morning, what it was that had me tearing myself from my adorable bride. What it was that had me fighting an inner battle not to stay and kiss you awake.''You didn't go clay pigeon shooting?' she asked, knowing suddenly his errand had been much more important than that. For answer Nash dipped his hand into his pocket and withdrew a small square box. 'I went to buy this. It mattered to me—I was hoping it mattered to you.'Perry couldn't stop the tears that rushed to her eyes when he pulled back the lid from the box and she saw what it contained. It was a wedding ring.'You said you'd thrown the other one in the river,' he said softly, taking her left hand in his. Then, his voice stronger, sincere and loving, gently he slid the plain gold band over her wedding finger, saying as he did so, keeping hold of it when it was home, 'With this ring I thee wed. With my body I thee worship.' Tears were streaming down Perry's face as Nash came to the end. 'I love you, my darling wife,' he murmured tenderly, wiping away her tears as reverently he kissed her. Then, still in that quiet loving way, he kissed her' wedding ring, kissed her hand. 'Let's go home, my dear, dear love,' he said.
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