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Dedication
Contents
Introduction
31 January 2020: Boris Johnson goes missing in action on his big Brexit day
13 February 2020: Javid’s self-worth wasn’t part of the plan for Cummi— sorry, Johnson
24 February 2020: Priti Patel’s ineptitude is exactly what Boris admires in her
3 March 2020: Boris fails to convince with sanitised take on coronavirus
5 March 2020: As Chris Whitty provides a dose of reality, Boris is just an annoying distraction
11 March 2020: Sunak’s wholesale spaffing sends Tories into rapture
23 March 2020: Boris Johnson unveils the lockdown that isn’t quite a lockdown
5 April 2020: Queen praises the people, if not the government, and pulls off a tough gig
6 April 2020: Ruffled Raab gives little clue of true state of prime minister’s health
7 April 2020: Leadership, Jim, but not as we know it with Captain Raab on bridge
15 April 2020: Hancock’s shiny badge? Emblem of a scamper into Tigger mode
27 April 2020: A deflated Johnson struggles to muster his usual ebullience
30 April 2020: Breathless Boris is left floundering as he faces foe he can’t outbluster
11 May 2020: Smart suit, brushed hair. It was just Boris Johnson’s speech that was a mess
13 May 2020: Boris Johnson resorts to bluster under Starmer’s cross-examination
24 May 2020: No dignity, no future: Boris forsakes leadership to protect Cummings
25 May 2020: Regrets? St Dom had a few, but then again, too few to mention
27 May 2020: Floundering Boris leaves no doubt: our PM is a showman out of his depth
28 May 2020: Boris Johnson sacrifices top scientific advisers on altar of Classic Dom
3 June 2020: No hiding place for Boris at PMQs
4 June 2020: Fall guy Shapps takes turn to promote UK as ‘world-beater’ in stupidity
9 June 2020: Williamson can hardly fiddle the science when he can’t count to two
16 June 2020: Johnson’s global Britain fantasies offer little distraction from school meals own goal
18 June 2020: UK ministers show how ‘world-beating’ they are all over again
23 June 2020: Trust me, I’m Mr Fun: Boris Johnson loosens England’s lockdown
24 June 2020: Boris, the narcissists’ narcissist, flails wildly as PMQs exposes cracks
1 July 2020: Boz the Bluster gets hammered in PMQs ‘whack-a-mole’
14 July 2020: Mattbeth fails to mask government’s latest U-turn on Covid face coverings
15 July 2020: Like a borderline sociopath, Johnson again misjudges the mood of the chamber
16 July 2020: Tired of being Boris Johnson’s patsy, Patrick Vallance fights back
25 July 2020: Shapps feels the pain in Spain on holiday from hell
5 August 2020: Just another quiet day in the home office of dedicated contact tracers
26 August 2020: It’s a dog’s breakfast for Gavin Williamson and his owner
2 September 2020: Boris left flailing as his limitations become clear for all to see
8 September 2020: Brandon Lewis breaks cardinal law for MPs and tells the half-truth
14 September 2020: Ed Miliband revels in making Boris Johnson look like a second-rate con man
22 September 2020: In 1940, we had Churchill; in 2020, we have Johnson’s poundshop imitation
12 October 2020: Boris Johnson’s latest Covid strategy: no hope and no end in sight
21 October 2020: Boris falls into Keir’s tiers trap and goes full delusional over TfL
2 November 2020: Subdued Johnson just a piece of flotsam being buffeted around
9 November 2020: PM channels his inner John Wayne in vaccine metaphor meltdown
23 November 2020: Tiers of a clown as Boris Johnson’s video link falls down
1 December 2020: Major Sulk enters his darkest hour as rank and file desert him
3 December 2020: Man-child Gavin Williamson plumbs new depths of stupidity
10 December 2020: Mordaunt goes through the looking-glass and down a rabbit hole
30 December 2020: On Boris’s big day, Tories kid themselves this is the deal they always wanted
4 January 2021: To predict government policy, listen to Boris and wait for the opposite
13 January 2021: Boris Johnson: a defensive man with much to be defensive about
25 January 2021: Thérèse Coffey’s Zoom walkout leaves even Piers Morgan lost for words
28 January 2021: Boris Johnson’s Scotland trip proves essential to nobody
11 February 2021: You can’t fault Matt Hancock’s work ethic – just everything else
22 February 2021: A year too late, Boris Johnson produces a reasonable plan
10 March 2021: Untouchable Boris? Bluster-busting Starmer could well put him on the back foot again
25 March 2021: Tory milkman delivers speech surreal even by Commons standards
28 April 2021: Primal rage at PMQs as Boris the joker is unmasked
4 May 2021: If Starmer wants to win Hartlepool, polls suggest he should stop visiting
7 May 2021: So who are you again? Boris Johnson meets the new MP for Hartlepool
10 May 2021: No boasting, no gloating, Boris somehow remains on topic
25 May 2021: As Hancock ‘throws a sickie’, Zahawi suffers a dose of the hotspots
26 May 2021: Dominic Cummings stars in his own jaw-dropping, grubby, delusional miniseries
9 June 2021: Blushing bridegroom Boris Johnson is not wedded to reality
14 June 2021: Johnson maxes out his credit with Tory MPs: ‘It’s 19 July, and I really mean it this time’
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