Seriously... I'm Kidding by Degeneres, Ellen -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Front Cover Image Welcome Dedication Acknowledgments A Note from the Author Writing This Book CoverGirl How to Be a Supermodel Stuff Personally Speaking The Secret of Life The Secret of Life—Part Two Thunderclap: A Short Short Story Journal Entries Important Words Family What Would Jesus Do? Haiku Stretching Meditation Guided Meditation Random Things That Might Help You But Probably Won’t American Idol, Or “If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say, Don’t Say Anything at All” Common Courtesy Sauna Answers to Frequently Asked Questions Labels For the Children—Part One For the Children—Part Two Talking Hard Pros and Cons Additional Thank-Yous Babies, Animals, and Baby Animals My Bucket List I Am Not Lazy Aspirations: A Short Short Story Social Skills Dinner with a Psychic Ideas For the Teenagers For the Adults Who Don’t Understand the For the Teenagers Chapter and Really Want To The Longest Chapter Tweet Chapter Deep Thinkers and Not So Deep Thinkers Chapter for the Audiobook Listeners Honesty Don’t Worry, Be Happy Magic Girl Power Boredom Ellen’s Guide to Gift Giving Pondering Adults Only Chapter Gambling Tips Timeline of a Celebrity’s Day Sleep Letter to Mall Security How to Become a Billionaire 5 Extremely Easy Ways to Make a Lot of Money Inside My Head Romance: A Short Short Story Dreams Seriously… I’m Kidding Last Chapter About the Author Also by Ellen DeGeneres Copyright

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