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Index
Title Page Copyright Dedication 1. Could You Please Stop Killing My Goat? 2. Your Standard Rooftop Chase Scene with Talking Swords and Ninjas 3. My Friends Protect Me by Telling Me Absolutely Nothing. Thanks, Friends 4. A Cheetah Runs Me Over 5. My Sword Has a Better Social Life Than I Do 6. Love Me Some Weasel Soup 7. Have You or Someone You Love Ever Suffered from Lindworms? 8. I Am Saved from Certain Death by Being Killed 9. Never Take a Bubble Bath with a Decapitated God 10. The Most Awkward Viking Luau Ever 11. What’s a Guy Gotta Do to Get a Standing Ovation? 12. Samirah and Magnus Sitting in a Tree, T-A-L-K-I-N-G 13. Relax, It’s Just a Little Death Prophecy 14. Cry Me a Blood River. Wait. Actually, Don’t 15. All in Favor of Slaughtering Magnus, Please Say Aye 16. Hearthstone Unleashes His Inner Bovine 17. Uncle Randolph Gets on My Naughty List BIG-TIME 18. I Need to Learn Many, Many More Cusswords in Sign Language 19. Should I Be Nervous that the Pilot Is Praying? 20. In Case of Demonic Possession, Please Follow Illuminated Signs to the Nearest Exit 21. Loiterers Will Be Shot, Then Arrested and Shot Again 22. Pretty Sure Hearthstone’s Dad Is a Cow-Abducting Alien 23. Yep, His Other Car Is Definitely a UFO 24. Oh, You Wanted to Breathe? That’ll Be an Extra Three Gold 25. Hearthstone? More Like Hearthrob. Am I Right? 26. We Nuke All the Fish 27. Let Me Go Immediately, or I Will Make You a Billionaire 28. And If You Order Now, You Also Get This Cursed Ring! 29. Nøkk, Nøkk 30. Somewhere Over the Rainbow, There’s Some Messed-Up Stuff Going On 31. Heimdall Takes a Selfie with Literally Everyone 32. Godzilla Sends Me an Important Message 33. Falafel Break? Yes, Thank You 34. We Visit My Favorite Mausoleum 35. We Have a Tiny Problem 36. Solving Problems with Extreme Fashion 37. Meat S’mores Roasting on an Open Fire 38. You Will Never, Ever Guess Blitzen’s Password 39. Elvis Has Left the Bowling Bag 40. Little Billy Totally Deserved It 41. When in Doubt, Turn Into a Biting Insect 42. Or You Could Just Glow a Lot. That Works, Too 43. You Keep Using the Word Help. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means 44. We Are Honored with Runes and Coupons 45. Pigtails Have Never Looked So Frightening 46. Here Comes the Bride and/or the Assassin 47. I Prepare for Funkytown Combat 48. All Aboard the Cheesy Gordita Express 49. Thrym! 50. A Little Refreshing Poison in Your Face, Sir? 51. Hello, Paranoia, My Old Friend 52. My Uncle Gets Some Backup Singers 53. It’s Hammer Time! (Someone Had to Say It) 54. Squirrels in the Window May Be Larger Than They Appear 55. Daisies in the Shape of an Elf 56. Let’s Try This Whole “Meeting for Coffee” Thing Again 57. I Call In Some Favors Glossary Pronunciation Guide The Nine Worlds Runes (In Order of Mention) Also by Rick Riordan Preview of The Trials of Apollo, Book One: The Hidden Oracle About the Author
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