What's That Job and How the Hell Do I Get It? by Rosen, David J. -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Cover Page Title Page Contents Introduction

What Exactly Is This? And How the Hell Did You Write It? But before We Begin…Two Pieces of Advice And One Quick Note on the Money

A&R Executive

What’s A&R? And What’s It Like to Work at a Label? But You Won’t Always Be in the Office Where You Start and Where You Go What Kind of Person Fits the Bill? Hours? How Much Cheddar? I’ve Got the Music in Me. How the Hell Do I Get This Job? Resources, or What Helps You Be the Kind of Person Labels Want to Create a Job For?

Actor

The Big But Auditions, Auditions, Auditions Speaking of Agents… The Union Life When You Have a Part What It Takes to Be an Actor Hours? Play Money? Bravo, I Love It. So How the Hell Do I Become an Actor? Resources

Advertising Creative

The Ad Agency in Two Little Paragraphs The Creative Department Here’s (Roughly) How an Ad Is Born: What Are Creatives Like? The Office How Many Hours Does One Toil? How Much Cheddar? This Sounds Ad-Tastic! How the Hell Do I Become a Creative? Resources

Alternative-Medicine Practitioner

How Do You First Learn about This Stuff? So What Do You Do after School? The Office, and What Happens in It What Kind of Person Is Good at This? Up All Night or Nine-to-Five? Money? Let the Healing Begin. How the Hell Do I Become a Practitioner? Resources

Architect

Projects, from Birth to Adulthood Do I Do All That When I First Start? Senioritis What Makes for a Good Architect? The Offices Must Be Awesome, Right? So, the Hours Are Long? Wallet-Sized, Rectangular Sheets of Green Paper? I Want to Design a Skyscraper. How the Hell Do I Become an Architect? Resources

Author

An Honest Introduction Writing Must Become Your Primary Job So Like, You Just Sit in a Room by Yourself and Write? What Hours Are You Alone, Writing? Your Team What Does It Take to Get Published? Platform and Promotion Book Money? I Rather Like This Profession. How the Hell Can I Become an Author? To Get an MFA or Not to Get an MFA? Resources

Band Manager

What Does Managing a Band Mean? What Kind of Backgrounds Do Band Managers Have? How Do You Even Find a Band to Manage? Adjectives That Describe Good Band Managers Do You Work out of the Back of a Van? Hours? Dumptrucks Filled with Money? I’m Down. How the Hell Do I Become a Band Manager? Resources

Blogger

How Do People Make Any Money from Their “Journals”? There Are Two Types of Bloggers Blogs Are Kind of Like Online Magazines, Right? So How Does This Differ from a Job as a Magazine Writer? So Like, You Just Blog All Day? What Makes for a Good Blogger? Office? What Hours Are You Blogging? Bread for Blogging? I Am Wired. How the Hell Do I Become a Blogger? Resources

Boutique Owner

A Quick Definition Wait—What Exactly Makes a Boutique Unique? What Do Boutique Owners Do All Day? What Kind of Person Opens a Successful Boutique? And What Is a Successful Boutique? So What Kind of Money Are We Talking? How about the Hours? I Wish to Birth a Unique Boutique. How the Hell Do I Do It? Resources

Chef

What’s Up in the Kitchen? And What’s It Like in the Kitchen? Calm? Chaos? What Ingredients Do You Need to Be a Good Chef? Hours? What Do You Get Paid for That Sixty-Hour Week? Food Completes Me. How the Hell Do I Become a Chef? Tips for the Budding Chef Resources

Clergy

The First Question So, Do You, Like, Pray All Day? And What Qualities Make for a Good Clergy Member? Education and Getting Started Hours? Spiritual Space? Pennies from Heaven? I Hear the Call. How the Heck Do I Get This Job? Resources

Composer

Composing 101 It’s Time to Score They Like It, They Really Like It! Now for Phase Two So What Do I Need to Know to Be a Composer? Where Does All This Composing Happen? What Do You Do in the Studio When You Are Not Composing? 1, 2, 3, 4…How Many Hours? Golden Tones? I Plan to Write a Song about How Badly I Want This Job. So How the Hell Do I Get It? Resources

Designer

Who Are Designers? What Does a Designer Actually Do? You’ll Need More Than a Sense of Color The Designer Vibe How Many Hours Am I Clicking and Dragging? Dollars for Designing? I Like Making Things Pretty. How the Hell Do I Get This Job? Resources

Doula

So a Doula Takes the Place of a Doctor? What Type of Person Makes for a Dyn-o-Mite Doula? Where Do You Doula? Hours? Salary? I Was Born to Birth. How Do I Get This Job? Resources

Entrepreneur

So What Do Entrepreneurs Do? Live It. Love It. Sacrificial CEO Dinero? How Do I Even Know If I’m Entrepreneurial? Well Then, What Kind of Person Makes for a Successful Entrepreneur? I Want to Be an Entrepreneur. How the Hell Do I Become One? Resources

Event Planner

Event Planning in the House, Y’all What Kind of Person Is an Event Person? Where Do You Do All This Planning? Hours? Money I Will Fight for My Right to Party. How the Hell Do I Get This Job? Resources

Fashion Designer

What Do Fashion Designers Do All Day? Where Do You Design? What’s It Like Inside a Fashion House? What Skills Do I Need? What Does It Take to Be Good at It? What Are the Hours? Will I Be a Slave to Fashion? Couture Money? I Am Fashion, Hear Me Roar. How the Hell Do I Get This Job? The All-Important Portfolio Resources

Film Director

What Does the Director Really Do? Let’s Shoot Time and Money After the Shoot Still, These Are Exciting Times What Makes for a Good Director? Hours? Money? Brilliant! How the Hell Do I Become a Director? Resources

Flash Developer/ Multimedia Designer

Keep Explaining, Please What Kind of Person Is a Flash Person? Where Do You Flash? Cyber Hours? Flashy Salary? I Dig Art and Technology. How the Hell Do I Become a Flash Developer? Resources

Gallerist

Galleries, in General What Do Gallerists Do? Art Dealing with Art People What Skills Do You Need? Art Hours? Your Office Is Nicer Than Your Apartment I Start as What for How Much? I Am One with Art. How the Hell Do I Get into the Gallery Game? The Art of the Interview Resources

Headhunter

Tell Me More, Por Favor The Business of Relationships OK. But What Exactly Do You Do All Day? Know the Game What Kind of Person Is Good at This Job? What’s the Office Like? Hours? Salary? I Want to Hunt Heads. How the Hell Do I Get This Job? Resources

Information Architect

That Sounds Like a Lot Where Do IAs Work? What Attributes Make for a Good IA? Hours? Salary? This Seems Architecturally Sound. How the Hell Do I Become an IA? Resources

Investment Banker

So What Do You Do at the Bank? What Makes for a Good Investment Banker? A Busy Office Filled with Power Suits? How Many Hours Must You Invest? You’re Going to Need a Bigger Wallet I Love the Smell of Money in the Morning. How the Hell Do I Get This Job? Resources

Jewelry Designer

What Do Jewelry Designers Actually Do? What Kind of Person Is Good at This Job? So Where Do You Work Every Day? Hours? Salary? I Want People Dripping in My Jewels. How the Hell Do I Get Started? Resources

Life Coach

Use Your Life Experience. Carve a Niche. Let Me Get This Straight. There’s No Entry-Level Position in Coaching? Whose Lives Are You Coaching? What Makes for a Good Coach? Where Do Coaches Work? Hours? Cash for Coaching? Um, What Was That You Mentioned Earlier About “Controversy”? Coach Me on Becoming a Coach. How the Hell Do I Get This Job? Resources

Magazine Writer/Magazine Editor

Writers and Editors What Kind of Person Is Good at This? Where Do You Write? Hours? Ducats? I Ache to Write. How the Hell Do I Get This Job? For All the Freelancers in the House Resources

Management Consultant

What Do Consultants Actually Do? What Makes for a Good Consultant? And Where Do You Consult? Hours Cash for Consulting? I’d Kill to Consult. How the Hell Do I Get This Job? Resources

Mediator

More on Mediation Hold Up. What’s the Difference between Mediation and That Other Term I Hear, Arbitration? What Types of Mediators Are There? The Hardest Part So How Do You Get Work? What Makes for a Good Mediator? Where Do Mediators Do Their Mediating? Money? Hours? I Burn to Mediate. How the Hell Do I Get This Job? Network It Finally… Resources

Personal Trainer

What Do You Do Besides Promoting Rock-Hard Abs? Sweatpants and Dreams Beyond Six-Pack Abs, What Makes for a Good Trainer? Flexible Hours? Money? I Long to Help Others Obtain Buns of Steel. How the Hell Do I Get This Job? Resources

Pharmaceutical Salesperson

Pharma Companies What Do You Do, as a Salesperson? What Qualities and Skills Does One Need? Office? Hours? Jeans and a T-Shirt or Three-Piece Suit? Money? I Want to Sell Drugs. How the Hell Do I Get This Job? Resources

Photographer

Freelancin’ What Do You Do When You’re Not Shooting? Is There a Job before I’m the “Captain of the Ship”? What Does It Take to Be Good at This? Where Do You Work? Hours? Money? Let’s Shoot. How the Hell Do I Get This Job? Resources

Physical Therapist

So Wait, Physical Therapists Are Doctors? Where Do PTs Work? Let’s Get Physical. What Do PTs Do? What Does It Take to Be a Good PT? Hours? Money? I Want to Be a PT. How the Hell Do I Become One? Resources

Private Investigator

Private Investigating Today Corporate Investigators General Investigators What Kind of Person Is Good at This? Hours? Money? I “Heart” Justice. How the Hell Do I Get This Job? Resources

Psychologist

A Note to Start The Battle of the Consonants: PsyD vs. PhD But Wait, What about the MSW Degree? Back to PhDs and PsyDs. That’s a Lot of Schooling. What’s It All Like? Doctorate Program Breakdown: Where Do You Do Your Psychologizing? And What Are You Really Doing There? Who’s Good at This? What Are the Hours? Does It Take Over Your Life? How Much Cash for Your Wisdom? I Want to Help People. How Do I Get This Job? Resources

Publicist/PR Executive

So Like, Am I Lunching All Day with Madonna? What Happens When I’m Not Pitching? Prepare to Be Touchy and Feely What Kind of Person Is a Publicist Person? I Start as What and Become Who? The Office Looks and Feels Like… Hours? How Many Pieces of Green Paper for Your Trouble? I Like the Public and I Adore Relations. How the Hell Do I Become a Publicist? Resources

Real Estate Broker

Brokering, Soup to Nuts What Kind of Person Is a Broker Person? Where Do You Broker? Hours Money Real Estate Seems Really Great. So How the Hell Do I Get This Job? Resources

Reporter

More Digestible Information, Please What Makes for a Good Reporter? Platinum-Level Frequent-Flyer Miles News Hours? What’s the Office Like? Money? I Want to Report the News. How the Hell Do I Get This Job? Resources

Screenwriter

Feature Writing versus Television Writing Feature Writing 101 Selling Those Screenplays TV Writing 101 What Does It Take to Be Good? Hours? Salary? I Want In. How the Hell Do I Become a Rich and Famous Screenwriter? Resources

Teacher

The Daily Job What Makes for a Good Teacher? Who’s the Boss? What Education Do You Need to Teach? Money? What’s the Vibe? Done by the 3 PM Bell? I Believe the Children Are Our Future. How Can I Become a Teacher? Resources

Toy Designer/Toy Inventor

Toys Two Ways How Does a Toy Become a Toy? Is Magic Involved? What Kind of Person Is a Toy Person? Rumpus Room? Hours? Play Dough I Am Childlike, Ask Anyone. How the Hell Do I Get This Job? Resources

Veterinarian

What Do Vets Do All Day? What Does It Take to Be a Good Vet? Is the Office Really a Zoo? Hours? Money? I Want to Walk with the Animals, Talk with the Animals…How the Hell Do I Get This Job? General Resources Zoological Resources

Video Game Developer

What Exactly Is a Video Game Developer? What Do You, Like, Do Every Day, as Mr. Top-of-the-Heap Developer Guy? What Kind of Person Might Be Good at This? What’s the Office Like? People Playing Games All Day? Hours? Mucho Dinero? I’m So Game. How the Hell Do I Get This Job? Resources

Wardrobe Stylist

Before I Move, What Exactly Does a Stylist Do Every Day? What Makes for a Good Stylist? Do I Need a Degree? Stylish Office? Hours? Money? I Am Addicted to Fashion. How the Hell Do I Get This Job? Resources

Acknowledgments About the Author The acclaimed comic debut novel by David J. Rosen Also by David J. Rosen Copyright

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