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Imperial Library
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Index
Title Page
Table of Contents
Copyright
Dedication
Epigraph
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
If You Knew My Family, You’d Understand
Let Your Geek Flag Fly
Think or Perish
Rock Is Dead: Long Live Paper And Scissors
Today Is the Tomorrow You Worried About Yesterday
I Brake for Hackers
Say No to Pep
I’m Having Another “It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time” Moment
Boyfriend Wanted
Don’t Make Me Release the Flying Monkeys
Smile. The Government Is Watching
Honk If You Do Everything You’re Told
Warning: I Have Cabin Fever
Tree-Hugging Dirt Worshiper
Everyone Says I’m in Denial, But Really I’m Not
I Always Wanted to Be Somebody, But Now I Realize I Should Have Been More Specific
Has Anyone Seen Waldo? I’m Starting to Worry About Him
Who Needs Terrorists? We’re Destroying Ourselves Just Fine Without Them
Dear Math, Please Grow Up and Solve Your Own Problems
If You Have Nothing to Do, Please Don’t Do It Here
Put On Your Big Girl Panties and Deal With It
What a Long, Strange Trip It’s Been
When in Doubt, Walk the Dog
If You’re Going Through Hell, Keep Going
Don’t Rub the Lamp Unless You’re Ready for the Genie
Take My Advice–I’m Not Using It
Some Days You’re the Windshield; Other Days You’re the Bug
Poo Poo Occurs
I Didn’t Do It. And I’ll Never Do It Again
I’m Not Myself Today; Maybe I’m You
My Child Was Inmate of the Month at the County Jail
Acknowledgments
About the Author
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