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Index
Title Page
A Royal Wedding
Copyright
Tara Brown
Contents
Dedication
Foreword
1. Everything glistens when you’re in love. It’s like being stuck inside a Snapchat filter.
2. There are two sides to every story. And whoever tells their side first and the loudest is the one people believe. Just ask Twitter.
3. The world is your oyster. Don’t let it rot before you eat it.
4. Relationships are like buying a car. You have to test-drive some pieces of shit before you find one you love.
5. You can’t open a new door until you close the old one. Sometimes the old door won’t close, so you have to burn the house down. It’s the only way.
6. The hardest part about being friends with someone you’re attracted to is the what-if. It’s a sneaky little monster that blinds you to all the bad qualities in a person, just in case.
7. Roommates are the true test of whether you’re loveable as a human or not. They’re also the test of whether you have the capability to commit savage crimes against others. Particularly where leftovers are concerned.
8. Time flies when you’re having fun, but it also flies when you’re dreading the end of something. In fact, I think it’s faster then.
9. Drunken hookups are one thing, but hookups where you’re the only one who’s drunk, are totally something else. #NotCool
10. Dudes, mentally and emotionally self-aware is the new tall
11. The truth totally doesn't set you free. It sets you on fire and burns everyone else too.
12. Guys always go on about what a rough game rugby is, until they watch girls play it. Then suddenly they’re gentlemen and women are savages. Totally uncool.
13. Guys are always going on about how we don't know where we want to eat. They need to worry less about the side dishes and more about the fact most of them still have side hoes.
14. The new triple threat has changed. It used to be beautiful, smart, and kind. Now it’s witty, strong, and confident. Filters take care of the beautiful part.
15. Canceled culture is a crime against our morals. Publicly humiliating someone and trying them in the public eye based on shady opinions will be how we end up with Skynet #Facts
16. Funerals need to be more like birthdays. They’re for the living, celebrating a life. We should add piñatas and drinks and cake. Everyone likes cake.
17. I’m only mean to people who deserve it. Like a bitchy vigilante. Bitchilante.
18. The brighter side of things only works on stupid things. No one needs a positive spin for tragedy, Karen.
19. Why do people hate on dudes who like to wear dresses but chase down guys in kilts? Who decided plaid was the only material suitable for bros?
20. It’s science that if a man calls you his queen and wants to be called your king, you will need to patch a lot of drywall in your house.
21. When trying to have a baby, consider where you do it. No one wants to be the kid who was conceived behind that old church.
22. Scientists are cloning extinct horses from the permafrost in Russia, but they still can’t get the Lucky Charms marshmallows to go squishy before you run out of cereal.
23. If something feels off, it’s off. It’s the simplest but best advice I can offer. Trust those ancient instincts. They know.
24. If your friends don’t like your SO, it’s pretty simple, you need a new one. Friends are like dogs. They can smell a bad relationship from a mile.
25. A lot of people discount it, but it’s science. If your friend cuts all their hair off, check on them. They are NOT okay. #Brit2007
26. The worst thing we created in the 2000s is ghosting. Millennials have revitalized the small bookstores and saved us from eating at chain restaurants, but they can’t text someone back to say they’re not interested?
Epilogue
The End
Sample chapter
Mission Impossible
Afterword
Other YA Books by Tara Brown
About the Author
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