Little Keith Lemon by Francis, Leigh -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Cover Title Page Contents A twinkle in Billy Ocean’s eye Meeting Dad – two halves of one whole The head of the household, me mam Our Greg! Our house and Auntie Jean’s Me first words Dreams of being a spaceman, an ice-cream-van man and Richard Branson To open, pull here The Famous Four My first crush Dressing up and playing the hero Dee The Grattan’s catalogue’s arrived. Christmas is coming! Does yours do this if you squeeze it? Isn’t smeg a fridge? Lessons you don’t learn at school All boys school I’ve caught London Breakdancing me way into girls’ hearts Tryst with a teacher A new language Angela and her cherry-smelling house Playing to me strengths Perfecting me playground flirt Can I buy you a Gold Label? Looking the part Shaving me hairs Me teachers Poster girls Cheap thrills The bakery is not the best pick-up joint – unless you fancy grannys Wispa, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp and Terry Who needs porn when you’ve got lads’ mags? Me mates from Sheffield The seven-a-day wall Me bird Becky The art of seduction On again, off again Valentine’s Day Rhino jeans Last days at school The Leeds boys go to Kavos! You’ve got to have a threesome Securipole Splashing the cash Twenty-one at last Looking back FANKS! Copyright page Dedication page

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