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Chapter One “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Nick Jameson asked his best friend. “I was going to ask you that,” Josh Towers said as he peered into the mirror on the wall of the groom’s dressing room, straightening a bow tie that was already perfectly straight. But then, nearly everything about Josh was perfect—apart from his taste in women. Nick sighed. “What do I need to know? I’m not getting married.” Not ever. “You missed the rehearsal, you know.” “Hey, I was on call last night.” Nick shrugged, testing the seams on his tuxedo jacket. Tuxedos were called monkey suits for a reason, he thought. They were damned near as comfortable as straitjackets. Not that he’d ever been in a straitjacket, but if for some reason he considered doing what Josh was—getting married—he’d put himself in one. “And what’s so hard about what I have to do?” Nick asked his friend. He had stood up with Josh at his other wedding—the first one. He was such a hypocrite. How could he stand up for something
Chapter One
Chapter Two Colleen matched her steps to Nick’s as they walked down the aisle and crossed the hall with the rest of the wedding party except for Clayton and Abby, who already stood inside the bride’s dressing room, nose to nose, as they argued. Of course Clayton would blame Abby. And of course he’d be furious. Feeling responsible, as always, for all his father’s duties, Clayton had taken it upon himself to pay for the wedding and give away the bride. He’d said he couldn’t wait to have one less responsibility. Poor Clayton. He just didn’t get it. He actually loved being in charge of his younger siblings. Colleen worked for him at the insurance agency he’d taken over after their father died. Although Clayton had given her the title of office manager, he’d never really given her any responsibility. So she didn’t feel all that guilty for the two afternoons a week she spent volunteering at the hospital in Grand Rapids, where the best man and the groom were on staff. The jilted groom. The we
Chapter Two
Chapter Three Colleen shivered as Nick Jameson approached, passing Abby as she headed away from him, toward the dance floor. “Do you know Dr. Jameson from the hospital?” Brenna asked. She was one of the few people in Cloverville who knew Colleen volunteered at the hospital in Grand Rapids, but even she didn’t know why. Colleen hadn’t actually ever met Dr. Jameson. He never acknowledged any of the volunteers, no matter how desperately some of them fought for his attention. “I only know him by reputation.” As a no-nonsense orthopedic surgeon. Not only the volunteers but several of the female staff obsessed over him, longing to experience his “elusive” bedside manner, but Colleen wasn’t one of those women who’d considered breaking her leg to get his attention. As he closed the distance between them now, Colleen’s pulse quickened. She had preferred it when he hadn’t noticed her at all. His gaze moved over her like a caress, lingering on her bare shoulders and the low bodice of her dress. W
Chapter Three
Chapter Four Love at first sight. Usually, he’d have scoffed at such a ridiculous notion. But the feeling had held tight, pressing against his chest, stealing his breath, so that he’d had not a moment’s rest all night. Recalling her kiss, her soft skin, her soulful eyes and that damned vulnerability that made him think he needed to protect her. The coffee he’d downed at Clayton’s that morning had merely added to his tension, making him edgy. He had to get out of Cloverville. He had to get away from her. Before he did something even stupider than losing his heart. Before he lost his head. He checked the brass address plate on the porch of the colorful Victorian farmhouse. He’d found the Kellys’ house, which was painted yellow with purple and teal trim. Through the screen door drifted the sounds of running footsteps, laughter and then the crash of something breaking. Probably something porcelain or glass. He hoped not valuable. The twins were here. Josh hadn’t been the only one who’d dod
Chapter Four
Chapter Five “You’re sure you’re okay with me staying here?” Nick asked as he dropped his duffel bag onto the polished hardwood floor of Clayton McClintock’s apartment, a loft above his insurance agency. He placed the picnic basket atop the marble countertop, careful not to knock around the contents inside. He didn’t want to break the wine bottle. “No hard feelings over our not leasing your open space downstairs?” That had been his decision more than Josh’s. While the commercial space had been okay for a one-doctor private practice, Nick and Josh needed more room for the two of them and the physical therapist they intended to hire. Clayton shook his head. “No. I understand that you need more room than Dr. Strover. And you’re more than welcome to stay here.” But Nick could tell from the quizzical tone in his host’s voice that Clayton wondered why Nick wanted to stay. Cloverville was just a little over an hour’s drive from Grand Rapids. But an hour away would be too far if Josh suddenly
Chapter Five
Chapter Six Nick paced the grass around the blanket he’d spread out. The picnic basket anchored one corner of the plaid fleece while the breeze played with the other three. Tree branches swayed as the wind picked up, cooling the Sunday afternoon to such a degree that he found himself left alone in the park. No children playing. No dogs barking. No Colleen. No smiling-haughty-laughing-kissing Colleen. He glanced at his watch. He’d waited almost an hour for her. More than thirty minutes ago he’d decided she wasn’t coming. But still he waited. Because what if she showed and he was gone? Then he’d have missed seeing her. And he wanted to see her more than he’d ever wanted to see anyone before. He swallowed hard. No, there’d been one person he wanted to see more than her. Bruce. He’d been too young to die. If only… But could Nick have saved his brother from a broken heart? Hell, he wasn’t all that sure he could save himself. He pushed his hand through his hair. She wasn’t coming. He was was
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven Nick pulled back and turned his head, as if scanning the park. “What are we doing?” “What…” “We’re in a public place.” He rubbed a hand over his face and around to the back of his neck. “What are we thinking?” “We’re not supposed to be thinking,” she reminded him. But she suspected she found that rule easier to obey than he did. Although she’d struggled to be careful the past several years, she’d still acted without thinking. More than once. He rolled to his side, shifting his weight off her. “Did I hurt you?” “What?” He’d barely touched her, certainly not as she’d wanted him to touch her. Maybe he couldn’t bring himself to make that great a sacrifice for his friend. He skimmed his hand up her side. “You’re so…” “Skinny?” Rory often taunted her that she was a rack of bones. It didn’t matter how much she ate, she couldn’t put on weight. She’d never have the generous curves of her friend Brenna. A breath shuddered out of his lips as he shook his head. “No. You’re delicate.
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight Although the wind had died down, heavy clouds clung to the sky, bringing night on early. Colleen headed home, the fireflies lighting her way. Glancing at the illuminated dial of her watch, she realized that she’d missed dinner. But she wasn’t hungry despite the little food she’d eaten with Nick. She wasn’t particularly eager to face her family and their houseguests, either. Abby knew her far too well. She would realize that something had happened to Colleen. She would know right away that Colleen had acted recklessly again. Colleen hadn’t made love with Nick, but it didn’t matter. She’d already fallen for him. Even knowing that he was only turning on the charm to find out where her sister was, she’d fallen. Was she that starved for attention? That desperate? She’d thought herself so much older and wiser now. She couldn’t face herself right now, let alone look her best friend in the eye. Then, turning away from the house, she noticed a couple standing at the front of the w
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine “So, Colleen, you’ll type that application for insurance on Mr. Meisner’s dog?” Clayton asked from where he lounged in the chair beside her desk. “Sure,” she murmured, distracted, as she stared at the screen of her desktop computer. The letters and numbers blurred together as her mind drifted back two days, to the park and Nick’s kisses. “I think a million is a fair amount of insurance on old Lolly, don’t you?” “Yes,” she answered distractedly, then she mentally replayed their conversation and groaned. “You caught me.” “A million miles away.” Cloverville Park wasn’t that far. “You okay?” he asked, his eyes full of concern. She nodded. “Yes.” “You’re worried about Molly,” he guessed. “Not really. Molly’s smart. She’ll work everything out. She just needs time.” Maybe that was all Colleen had needed years ago. Maybe she hadn’t needed anyone to look for her; she’d only needed time alone to figure out what she’d wanted. She’d always gone home again. “I’m worried about Molly,” C
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten “You find what you want?” The man’s booming voice startled Nick into fumbling the paint cans. They dropped with a clatter and rolled across the scarred wood floor of the old hardware store. Josh had insisted that Nick buy the remodeling supplies here instead of at the big-box lumber store on the outskirts of town. Something about small-town loyalties or some such nonsense. He hadn’t really been paying attention. Since meeting Colleen McClintock, he’d struggled to focus on anything else but her. “Yeah, I found what I want,” he assured the gray-haired shopkeeper. But he couldn’t have it. He couldn’t have her. A gnarled finger precariously close to Nick’s face, the old man pointed at him. “You’re that guy. The one who’s with the other fella, from the city…” “What?” “You were in the wedding-that-wasn’t.” “I was in the wedding party,” Nick admitted, thinking to himself that there’d been damn little to party about. The shopkeeper shifted his hand away from Nick’s face and snapped
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven He dragged in a deep breath, bracing himself to reveal something only a few people he trusted implicitly knew. And he hadn’t had to tell them. They’d been there. He turned toward where she sat on the leather couch in her brother’s sun-drenched living room and said, “I understand feeling guilty for stuff in your past, for stuff you did or didn’t do.” She shook her head. “Doctors can’t blame themselves for losing patients, Nick. I’ve been around the hospital long enough to know that no doctor—not even you—is God. You can’t save everyone.” “I couldn’t save my brother.” He’d said the words with such force that they seemed to echo eerily through Clayton’s apartment. “What?” “It wouldn’t have even taken that much. I didn’t need to be a surgeon yet, then, to know he’d been hurting.” He dragged his hand over his face, wishing he could wipe away the past. “His wife took off on him, but not before she told him that she’d been sleeping around their entire marriage. She even claimed
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve Nick rolled the paint onto the wall, and the green that Brenna had chosen for the kitchen blurred before his eyes. He saw only Colleen, naked in his arms, her face flushed with passion as he brought her pleasure. She’d brought him pleasure, too—ecstasy he’d never known before. And never intended to experience again. He couldn’t risk it. He’d already fallen for her, and if he fell any deeper he might fool himself into thinking she could fall for him, too. That she could love him, not just now but forever. And forever wasn’t possible. For one thing, she was too young. She’d change her mind about him, grow bored staying at home alone while he worked long hours—like his sister-in-law had grown bored, and Josh’s first wife. Even with the shorter hours of private practice, he’d be busy, preoccupied with patients or the past. He didn’t have enough to offer her, to keep her. Something wet and thick splattered his face, and he turned his attention to the roller. But the foam had
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen “I thought I might find you here.” Colleen brushed away the tears that were streaming from her eyes before she turned away from the colonel to face Nick. “You know what they say about always returning to the scene of the crime.” He shook his head. “I thought you’d agreed to give yourself a break.” She forced a smile. “I did. I have. But I just told Clayton the truth.” And she’d been overwhelmed by all the emotions, guilt, regret and, finally, relief. It was over. Everyone knew now. “I just talked to him,” Nick said, grasping the handle of the duffel bag he carried. “He was getting ready to apologize to Abby for having misjudged her.” “Good.” Satisfaction joined the relief. “It’s a long-overdue apology.” “He seemed really anxious to talk to her.” Her lips curved into a smile. She’d put pressure on Clayton to convince Abby to stay in Cloverville. “Maybe I’m more like my mom than I thought.” His forehead furrowed as he obviously tried to follow her change of subject. But
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen The words on the page blurred as Colleen hunched over the library table and tried to read the book she’d picked up. But there were no receptive listeners here. She read silently, evaluating the story as one she might bring to the hospital. If she dared to go back to the hospital… She knew why Nick had left Cloverville—to get away from her. If she followed him back to Grand Rapids, he would think she was chasing him, just as he feared. He would think she wanted more from him than he could give. And he’d be right. Everyone, even his best friend, had warned her about Nick Jameson’s aversion to love and commitment, but still she’d fallen in love. She understood his reasons for remaining uninvolved. After seeing a woman crush the older brother he’d idolized and watching two other women betray his best friend, he didn’t trust any woman to keep her promises. And he probably had more reason to mistrust her than most women. She’d kept secrets; she’d acted impulsively. But falli
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen Unable to sleep, just as she’d been every night since Nick had come to Cloverville, Colleen had risen at dawn and left for the park. Usually at this hour of the morning she had it to herself—just her and the colonel until Mr. Meisner brought Lolly for her morning walk. But today she stepped through the gates to a cacophony of metal clanging against metal and the hiss of a torch. Occasionally—when the colonel’s head fell off—teenagers took it and positioned it in other areas of town. On top of mailboxes and the order-taking speaker of the drive-through window, for example. But no one had ever entirely dismantled the statue before. Although no one but her apparently cared, she’d already hurt their proud town founder; no one else should be allowed to do him more harm. She ran over to the colonel and yelled at the man who was welding. “Hey! What are you doing?” The man shut off his torch, turned to her and lifted his welder’s mask. Pale green eyes gleamed in a dirty face. “
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen Colleen held her breath as she watched his face for any reaction to her admission. His jaw clenched, a muscle ticking in his cheek. Her skin heating with embarrassment, she backed toward the door, wanting to leave before she made an even bigger fool of herself. But Nick followed, kicking aside a pile of boxes in order to close his hands over her shoulders and pull her to him. “Nick?” she asked, her heart beating madly as she stared at his unreadable face. “I want you, Colleen. How I want you!” Want. Not love. He swept her up in his arms, kicking more cartons aside as he carried her toward a bedroom. He hadn’t started packing there yet. No boxes littered the floor, so he moved quickly toward the bed and deposited her on the tangled sheets. When he followed her down, Colleen lifted her hands and pressed them against his chest, holding him back. “Want?” “What?” “You just want me? That’s all?” She had been a fool to think anything had changed, to think that he had changed j
Chapter Sixteen
Epilogue
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