You Do You · How to Be Who You Are and Use What You've Got to Get What You Want (A No F*cks Given Guide) by Knight, Sarah -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Title Page Copyright Epigraph I’m Sure You’re Wondering Why I Called This Meeting I. YOU ARE HERE: An orientation exercise

Feat. The Tyranny of “Just Because”

Just who do you think you are? Ready player one Lowest Common Denominator Living A few caveats WNDs and the second half of the Golden Rule The social contract

The social contract—with amendments

Helpful guidelines for not being a psychopath Before you sign on the dotted line Meet Judgy McJudgerson A taxonomy of Judgys Mental redecorating Turning your weaknesses into strengths Unconventional wisdom for unconventional people Leaning in to being you

II. DOs & DON’Ts: Rules for the breaking

DON’T BE SELFISH (Life is short. Reclaim the word.)

You can’t please everyone, so you’ve got to please yourself SPF Happy Everybody dies “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” Good selfish, bad selfish 7 ways you being selfish can benefit others Attract your opposite Break new ground Your absence is their present Selflessness: the mother of all myths I learned it by watching Vanilla Ice Third time’s the charm

DO YOUR BEST (Except when you can’t. Or you don’t want to. Or it’s giving you heartburn.) Feat. “The Towel Conversation”

5 reasons why it’s bad to be perfect What would Marty McFly do? Slack off every once in a while, or someday, you will ruin Christmas Perfection is in the eye of the beholder Damn, it feels good to be a gangster Stop and smell your new business cards Dial back on the “git ’er done” Okay, but how do I relax??? Lower the bar Look around you Be the first to fuck shit up Talk to literally any old person

Being difficult: the spectrum Just the tip How to be “difficult” You don’t get what you don’t ask for (Feat. Help around the apartment, good seats at the movies, better orgasms) I’ll be in my office What a bargain! (Feat. Ask the questions you’re not supposed to ask) 10 awesome things negotiating can get you Death by focus group A taste test Use your powers for good, not evil God, why do you have to be so difficult?

DO BE A TEAM PLAYER (On the contrary, you can do YOU all by yourself.)

One is the loveliest number God bless theater people 6 benefits of being alone There’s no “o” in “team,” either. What’s your point?

DON’T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB (Take risks, ignore the doubters, and prove the haters wrong.)

Risky business 5 types of risks you could take and how to approach them (Feat. Saying “I love you,” starting a side hustle) Top 3 ways to silence the haters Fly under the radar Screen your calls Clap back I wish I knew how to quit you Actually, sometimes when people quit, we all win Midnight in the garden of obligation, guilt, and fear Feat. The marigolds of doubt

III. WILLs & WON’Ts: Not-so-great expectations

The elefante in my uterus How to convert the conventional conversation Feat. Lifestyle choices and responses to “You’ll change your mind” What if it’s not a choice?

The three little Ps Productivity Identify the threat Neutralize the enemy Go in guns blazing Planning Umbrella-ella-ella A “rain plan” isn’t just for rain Punctuality The early bird gets out in time for lunch Expect delays Time to crack the whip “P” for “Play it close to the vest”

YOU WILL REGRET THAT (Says who?)

But it feels so right You should try it! One wrong doesn’t make a regret This one time, at band camp You’ve got to make your own mistakes, and own the mistakes you make

Success is not one-size-fits-all Other things you might succeed at You get a gold star Good hair, don’t care

YOU WILL NEVER LIVE THAT DOWN (Yes you will. Go ahead and let your freak flag fly.)

Wacky with a chance of goofballs Making it weird Freak flag: flying high 5 signs you might already be weird Freak flag: half-mast Feat. Mental redecorating Freak flag: low and tight Pretend you’re a toddler Pretend you’re a celebrity Pretend you’re alone

IV. SHOULDs & SHOULDN’Ts: Much too much obliged

YOU SHOULD ALWAYS PUT FAMILY FIRST (First runner-up is okay too.)

Bye, bye, black sheep Reclaiming your time There can be only one. It doesn’t have to be your cousin Jennifer. Altar-nate plans 5 ways to talk to your family about choosing other people over them I choo-choo-choose you Feat. Tito

Leave your biofeedback at the tone I’m not a doctor, I don’t even play one on TV, please don’t sue me. Life’s a beach

YOU SHOULD SMILE MORE (How to break free from the Cult of Nice.)

Reasons I might not be smiling on any given day The Cult of Nice Do as I do, not as I look when I’m walking down the street minding my own goddamn business There’s too much traffic on the high road Feat. How to get NOT VERY NICE

YOU SHOULDN’T EAT THAT (I’ll take extra cheese, please.)

It’s all in your head, not in your hips Feat. Fêng shui with a side of “fuck that shit”

High fives all around Feat. [NAME REDACTED] Leggo my ego That thorough stroking I promised 5 more reasons to feel good about yourself

Epilogue Discover More by Sarah Knight Acknowledgments About the Author Also Available