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Imperial Library
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Index
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Act One: In The Belly of The Academy; Or, After Many a Semester Dies the Prof
Chapter One: Who I am, Why the Fuck Should You Care & Why is this Chapter Title Typed in Courier?*
Chapter Two: And Here’s to you, Chancellor Jones
Chapter Three: Flann O’Brien’s Pub Without Flann O’Brien
Chapter Four: Inside Malarkey’s Man Cave Which Isn’t One
Chapter Five: The Day After The Night Before
Chapter Six: Flann O’Brien’s Pub Without Flann O’Brien Where an Unpredictable Thing Happens
Chapter Seven: The Obligatory Backstory
Chapter Eight: If at First You Don’t Succeed, Go Back to Court
Chapter Nine: After Many a Summer Dies the Swan: Part II
Chapter Ten: Pumping Iron; or, Days of Future Past
Chapter Eleven: Film Music For an Autumn Night
Chapter Twelve: Entr’acte; or, Film Music for an Autumn Night
Chapter Thirteen: Liliana’s Costume
Chapter Fourteen: In Flagrante Delicto; or, Tricked and Treated
Chapter Fifteen: Malcolm, You Can’t Do That
Chapter Sixteen: Thanksgiving, But For What Reason Malarkey isn’t Sure
Chapter Seventeen: After Many a Summer Dies the Swan: Part III
Chapter Eighteen: Ceteris Paribus & All That Jazz
Chapter Nineteen: Return to Lax
Chapter Twenty: Back at Citrus City College
Chapter Twenty-One: Tutorial Time with Professor Malarkey
Chapter Twenty-Two: The Finger of Little Misunderstanding
Chapter Twenty-Three: Get Down Tonight
Chapter Twenty-Four: Professor Window Dressing and All That Jazz
Chapter Twenty-Five: Hail to Thee, US News & World Report
Chapter Twenty-Six: Casanova’s Restaurant; or a Night to be Remembered
Chapter Twenty-Seven: A Formula of a Different Kind
Chapter Twenty-Eight: A Formula of Yet Another Kind
Chapter Twenty-Nine: When You Are Old And Gray
Chapter Thirty: A Formula in Which the Plot Thickens
Chapter Thirty-One: The State of Education as It Sometimes Is
Chapter Thirty-Two: The Chancellor Speaks
Chapter Thirty-Three: If Thoughts Were Things, then Malarkey Would Have Been Sacked & An Unexpected Visitor
Chapter Thirty-Four: Prelude to the Afternoon of a Flight
Act II: On the Shores of Lago Maggiore
Chapter Thirty-Five: The Mile High Club; or, Tricked or Treated: Part II
Chapter Thirty-Six: The Morning After the Night Before; or, Dealing With Your Baggage at Malpensa
Chapter Thirty-Seven: At the Villa Liliano
Chapter Thirty-Eight: The Bentley; or Sex Without Borders
Chapter Thirty-Nine: At the Grand Hotel et de Milan and After
Chapter Forty: An Unscheduled Meeting at the Casa Verdi
Chapter Forty-One: What Malarkey Gleaned From Watching Falstaff
Chapter Eternal: At the Tomb of the Unknown Husband
Chapter Forty-Two: Entr’Acte; or, Gazing Out a Window at Thirty-Five Thousand Feet
Act III: When You are Old and Gray and Full of Sleep
Chapter Forty-Three: Coming in a Cup & Other Imaginative Things One Can Do With Semen
Chapter Forty-Four: In the Denntal Office of Dr. Al-Khwarzimi, Persian Oral Surgeon
Chapter Forty-Five: Just When You Least Expect It …
Chapter Forty-Six: FS&G: Famous New York Publishers
Chapter Forty-Seven: Dear Giuseppe
Chapter Forty-Eight: Dear Malcolm
Chapter Forty-Nine: Where Have you Gone, Mike Tyson, Malarkey Turns His Lonely Eyes to You, Koo-koo-ka-choo
Chapter Fifty: Between March and May; or, Entr’Acte, Part III
Chapter Fifty-One: Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Ignored
Chapter Fifty-Two: When Facing the Truth Fails, Take a Sabbatical
Chapter Fifty-Three: The Penalty for Late Lab Results
Chapter Fifty-Four: If you do not Love Me I shall not be loved. If I Do not Love you I shall not love
Works Consulted
Back Cover
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