Good Sex · Getting Off Without Checking Out by Graham, Jessica -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Good Sex

Getting Off without Checking Out

Praise for Good Sex Acknowledgments 1. The Adventure Begins

The Long and Winding Road to Good Sex Waking Up Mindful Sex

2. Mindfulness Manual: Obstacles, Faqs, and Tips

Frequent Obstacles to Starting a Meditation Practice

I can’t meditate because my mind is too noisy. I don’t have time to meditate. I live in the city, and the street sounds are too loud for me to be able to meditate. I can’t meditate because I’m not religious, or even spiritual.

Meditation FAQs

How often should I meditate? How long should I meditate? Where and when should I meditate? Do I need to face a certain direction, light candles and incense, or say a special prayer? How do I prepare to meditate?

Posture

Sitting on the Floor Kneeling on a Bench Sitting in a Chair Lying Down

Stillness Relaxing from Your Head to Your Feet Labels

Feeling Overwhelmed Sleepiness The Quiet Mind Battle Meditation Prep Checklist

3. Mindfulness Manual: The Practices

Basic Breath Awareness THE PRACTICE Rest and Relax THE PRACTICE Pleasure Boost Positivity Boost THE PRACTICE Basic Body Awareness THE PRACTICE Focus on Emotions THE PRACTICE Focus on Mind THE PRACTICE Focus on Self Meditation in Action

Walking Meditation Workout Meditation Dishwashing Meditation Stream of Consciousness Writing

4. Feelin’ It

The Impermanent Body Learning New Tricks THE PRACTICE Loving the Skin You’re In GOOD SEX TIP THE PRACTICE A Whole New World THE PRACTICE Putting Your Practice into Action This and This

5. Open-Eyed Love

The Body Knows Let’s Talk about Sex, Baby THE PRACTICE What Do You Want? Collaboration Is Sexy Right Speech GOOD SEX TIP If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say Eyes Wide Open

Being Seen Oh Say Can You See

Eye to Eye Meditation THE PRACTICE GOOD SEX TIP Sex without Separation

6. Crazy Mindful Love

Love Drugs Getting Sober Kicking the Habit GOOD SEX TIP Working through Challenges The Magnifying Glass and the Mirror What Is My Part? THE PRACTICE Loving Kindness THE PRACTICE Water Meets Its Own Level The Just Be Nice Campaign Impermanent Conflict THE PRACTICE No Problems, Only Solutions When It Doesn’t Work Out I Will Survive Open Heart Relationship as a Monastery

7. The Big O

Orgasmic Shame THE PRACTICE Orgasm Anxiety Be Gone GOOD SEX TIP THE PRACTICE

Don’t Think about Baseball

A New Story Putting It into Practice GOOD SEX TIP Orgasm Attachment Getting Off without Getting Off THE PRACTICE It’s the Journey, Not the Destination Be Here Now Orgasm and Concentration THE PRACTICE

8. Press Play Please Note: This Chapter Discusses Sexual Abuse.

Ethical Porn GOOD SEX TIP Porn and Shame Kids and Porn Body Image Your Relationship on Porn Porn for Intimacy Sex Ed GOOD SEX TIP

The Rough Stuff

Spiritual People Don’t Do That!

9. Good Sex Is Safe Sex Please Note: This Chapter Explores Rape and Abortion.

Getting Tested THE PRACTICE

The Talk

GOOD SEX TIP Knocked Up Abortion and Healing Exploring Past Abortions for Women THE PRACTICE Consent I Didn’t Say Yes

Talk It Out

GOOD SEX TIP Safe Sex Is Self-Love

10. Relax, Get to It

Learning to Relax Relaxed Sex THE PRACTICE Relaxation Fears

Isn’t my vagina “supposed” to be tight? What about Kegels? Will I still look hot if I’m relaxed? Shouldn’t I be flexing and sucking in? What if I get so relaxed that I cry during sex?

Just Breathe THE PRACTICE GOOD SEX TIP Learning to Breathe THE PRACTICE Tantric Lovin’ THE PRACTICE Relaxing into Pain THE PRACTICE GOOD SEX TIP Grasping and Acceptance

11. Can’t Get No Satisfaction

Not Getting Lucky Deconstructing Desire THE PRACTICE Not in the Mood The Sex Drive Boost Tool Kit

Texting The Sensual Life Dress for Success Pleasure Abounds Take the Pressure Off The Bases

GOOD SEX TIP A Little More Talk, A Little Less Action Awakened Role-Playing THE PRACTICE A Pitch for Celibacy THE PRACTICE

12. Different Strokes

Fantasy Land Judgment THE PRACTICE The Threesome GOOD SEX TIP

Don’t “Buy a Puppy” Talk Dirty (and Clearly) Tame the Green-Eyed Monster Safety First Take It All In The Mindful Third Quality over Quantity

GOOD SEX TIP Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down!

Make It Hurt So Good The Safe Word Surrendering

13. The Deep End

Getting the Commitment You Deserve THE PRACTICE More Than Two The Numbers All Kinds of Open GOOD SEX TIP The Green-Eyed Monster

The Demon

GOOD SEX TIP

14. The Sexual Phoenix Please Note: This Chapter Explores Sexual Abuse.

Over-Evolved Fear Trauma in Action You Are Not Your Trauma Sexual Trauma The Little Girl under the Bed The Road to Recovery THE PRACTICE Fear of Awakening Out of the Flames

15. Swim Until You Can’t See Shore

Strong Medicine To Engage or Not to Engage The Great Bypass The Integrated Life Translation vs. Transformation The Superiority Complex Chasing the High Resistance Is Futile Kill the Buddha The Never-Ending Story

Sources Notes

one two three five six seven eight nine ten thirteen fourteen fifteen

Resources About the Author

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