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Imperial Library
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Index
Title Page
Table of Contents
Copyright
Dedication
Introduction
It doesn’t matter
Nobody is thinking about you
Let bad enough alone
Ignore your enemy or kill him
Boo yourself off the stage
Yes you did
After the age of 30, it is unseemly to blame one’s parents for one’s life
If something is boring you, it is probably you
Stay clear of anyone—other than a clergyman—who refers to God more than once in an hour
Swine rules
Listen for the word “Great”
Listen for the question “What are you talking about?”
Appearance is frequently reality
Be not witty; neither shalt thou be clever
Pursue virtue, but don’t sweat it
Do not go to your left
Everyone’s work is magnificent
Consult everyone on everything and don’t forget to send ingratiating notes
Strife is better than loneliness
And loneliness is better than Eggs Benedict
Male and female compatibility rules
Run when you hear any of the following in a sentence
Never miss an opportunity to do nothing
Do not go for Cyrano’s nose
That couldn’t be a book
Do not keep company with people who speak of careers
Just because the person who criticizes you is an idiot doesn’t make him wrong
Never go to a cocktail party, and, in any case, do not stay more than 20 minutes
Envy no one—ever
Believe everyone—always
Do not attempt to improve anyone, especially when you know it will help
If they tell you that it’s a long shot—it is
Never bring news of slander to a friend
It’s not about you
Never say any of the following
If you want to keep a man honest, never call him a liar
The waitress is not waiting for you
Push the wheel forward
Dress for duress
A long and happy life lasts five minutes
Never work for anyone more insecure than yourself
The unexamined life lasts longer
No, they don’t—and so what?
Abjure fame but avoid obscurity
Fast and steady wins the race
To thine own self be true—unless you would like to be someone else
Culture rules
If it’s just a teeny-weeny bit wrong—destroy it
Never think on vacation
[As long as I am on the subject] Change no more than one-eighth of your life at a time
Expect gratitude from everybody for everything
Live in the past, but don’t remember too much
Never do it for the money
Remember the Amana
If you are strange enough, they will come
Never light the fire from the top
The game is played away from the ball
Apologize, reconcile, give help
Acknowledgments
The Rules
About the Author
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