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Index
Title
Title Page
Copyright Page
Why not us? An introduction
Can any other sport seriously match up to football?
Who got the ball rolling?
Is the ball necessary?
When did football become Britain's number-one sport?
What was the greatest FA Cup final of all time?
What is the best squad number to wear?
What are the top twelve things that could happen to an opposing team player in any match that a crowd enjoys most?
Should footballers be allowed to bring flick knives onto the pitch?
Should Jimmy Hill be knighted?
The Godfather recast with football stars
Are there any mentions of football teams in the film Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid?
Every mother's son
Why is Kevin 'Keggy Keegle' Keegan known as Kevin 'Keggy Keegle' Keegan?
How do goalkeepers end up as goalkeepers?
What is it like to actually get paid to be at the World Cup?
What was the greatest ever World Cup in the opinion of Baker & Kelly?
What is the most fabulous player name to ever grace a World Cup?
Who is the greatest footballing dad?
I'm 27 and really want to get into footy. How do I start?
Chapter Twenty facts for your files
Cosmically bored – adventures with Paul Gascoigne
Chapter Nine names of imaginary women who don't like football but happen to be footballer's sisters
How can my club save money?
Is being a football pundit as easy as it looks?
Which country's supporters save the most money on lettering for replica shirts?
Do club shops cover all your supporting needs?
Are English referees the best in the world? Or... English referees are destroying the World Cup!
Which is the dirtiest team of all time?
Which footballing folk could hold their own in the squared circle?
Is it too late to introduce new language into football commentary?
Does luck actually exist?
Then is superstition permissible?
England win the World Cup – in French!
Can you pick an all-time England team of just people called Smith?
Is it permissible to have feelings for a player beyond those of normal admiration?
Chapter Ten words or phrases never used in connection with Bolton Wanderers
Which club has the most handsome fans?
What is the greatest record sleeve to feature football?
Amazing! The peculiar joint fortunes of Tottenham Hotspur and David Bowie. Check it out!
Why do some people insist on calling football soccer?
Do all cultures have their version of the game?
Mourinho or the Sphinx? Spot the difference
Was George Best really that good?
Is there anyone whose name actually sounds a bit like a football club?
Are there any mentions of football in the Bible?
Have there ever been any pipe-smoking footballers?
What are football's greatest made-up teams?
Are there any decent books about football? *
Least capped v. most capped
What do managers of national sides actually do between international matches?
Is Holland still fighting the First World War?
Are modern balls worse than old-fashioned ones?
When a TV sports channel hasn't got the rights to show a major event that absolutely everyone on earth will be watching, what do they put on instead?
What is the longest shot ever?
Have foreign players helped or hindered the English game?
How can I smell like a footballer?
Has football always been cool?
What are the 50 most disliked teams – and why?
How is my club perceived by the wider public (or word-association football)?
What if they recast the Star Wars saga using football folk?
What's going on inside the mind of...?
What is the fewest number of players a team can legally field?
Has a player ever suddenly fled the field?
Should footballers always play strictly to the whistle?
Picture Section 1
Acknowledgements
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