The Doomsday Survival Handbook by Murphy, David P. -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Front Cover Title Page Copyright Contents Acknowledgments Introduction Part 1—The Sacred: Putting the “Die” in “Deity”

The Rapture S’tan Holy Wars Plague of Locusts Skeeter Snaps His Fingers and Keels Us Ghosts and Demons The GodSaw

Part 2—The Cosmic: Bang/Whimper/Whatever

A Giant Asteroid Space Pirates The Moon Breaks Out of Orbit Cosmic Orgasm Wave Intersects with Earth That Planet Eater Thing from Star Trek Nibiru Family of Blobs Yorggh, the Biggest Damn Space Creature Ever Earth Ejects Its Own Core Historically Large Solar Flare Scorches the Globe Galactus

Part 3—The Invasions: Who Invited Them?

Robots The Return of the Mayans That Flying Turtle Fella with Flames Comin’ Out of His Butt Space Spiders the Size of Escalades Descend on Civilization Werewolves Return of the Dinosaurs Those Pod Things! You Know, Those Pod Things Vampires Reptilux, the Ginormous Alien Lizard Aliens Interdimensional, Pastel-Colored, Man-Eating Ponies

Part 4—The Man-Made: Handmade Hell

Large Hadron Collider Opens a Black Hole Global Warming Nanotech Hell THE Killer Virus Duggars Worldwide Famine Feast A Bad Case of Zombie Outbreak Genetically Altered Food HAARP Chemtrails Dimensional Shift Causes Complete Collapse of Space-Time Continuum Ninjas Mass Hysteria, Madness, and Mayhem Nice Goin’, Mankind—We’re Talkin’ Another Friggin’ Ice Age WWIII Jingle Sung by Hasselhoff Causes Heads to Explode Longest Bass Solo Ever Triggers Tectonic Anger

Part 5—The Naturally Occurring: Mommie Nature Dearest

Killer Bees Deranged Birds Incredibly Bad Global Flatulence Earthquakes and Tsunamis Mothra Cockroaches Snakes

Final Score/Final Thoughts from the Grim Reapress About the Author Back cover