I Only Roast the Ones I Love by Ross, Jeffrey -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

JEFFREY ROSS **Contents**, Insultroduction INSULTRODUCTION THE ORIGINS OF THE ROAST RECIPE FOR A ROAST THE HONOREE THE ROASTMASTER OR ROASTMISTRESS THE ROASTERS THE AUDIENCE THE VENUE THE DAIS THE PODIUM THE MICROPHONES CUSTOM ARTWORK THE BOOZE THE JOKES A DASH OF SINCERITY THE SURPRISES THE REBUTTAL A ROASTMASTER SAVES LIVES A ROASTMASTER MUST SHOW RESPECT 1. MARK YOUR TERRITORY 2. LOCATE A POTENTIAL ROASTMISTRESS 3. SAY SOMETHING NICE THE ROAST MUST GO ON TWO UGLY MUGS. A ROASTMASTER MUST DANCE BAR MITZVAH BOOGIE. ROASTING WITH THE STARS 1. VISUALIZE YOUR INNER DAIS 2. PICTURE YOUR PERSONAL PODIUM 3. LET LOOSE ROASTMASTER A ROASTMASTER NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION A ROASTMASTER MUST THINK BIG 1. FRIENDLY 2. FAST 3. FUNNY 4. FUCK 5. FOND FAREWELL A ROASTMASTER NEEDS A MENTOR ROASTKNOWLEDGMENTS ART CREDITS

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