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Index
Cover
Title
Dedication
Copyright
Contents
Introduction: Thriving in Nonmonogamy
Chapter 1: What Is Consensual Nonmonogamy?
Defining CNM Relationships
Is CNM a Natural Human Tendency?
Reasons for Opening a Relationship
Benefits of CNM
Understanding Love in an Open Relationship
Exercise: Love Awareness
Chapter 2: Preparing Yourself for an Open Relationship
Self-Love, Self-Acceptance, and Self-Worth
Healing the Inner Child
Staying True to Yourself
Creating Yourself
Cultivating Resilience
Your Relationship Does Not Define You
Exercise: Stating Your Truths
Resistance to Change
Exercise: Face Your Fears
Chapter 3: Starting a CNM Relationship
Swimming in the River with Crocodiles
Broaching the Subject of an Open Relationship
Planning for the Conversation
Having the Conversation
The New Monogamous Agreement
Establishing Safe Boundaries
Communication Skills
How to Establish Emotional Safety
Understanding Conflict and Building a Secure Bond
Strategies for Moving into the “Secure Neighborhood”
Therapeutic Process in an Open Relationship
The Gift of Vulnerability
The Role of a Supportive Partner
Chapter 4: Cultivating Healthy Habits within CNM Relationships
Building Confidence
Developing Mental Strength and Grit
Exercise: Pull the Weeds and Water the Plants
Overcoming Negative Habits
Adopting Positive Habits
Practicing Self-Care
Experiencing Compersion
Exercise: Resilience Affirmation
Chapter 5: Sex in a CNM Relationship
Tips for Keeping Things Interesting within Your Primary Relationship
Incorporating Novelty into Your Relationship
Sexual Fluidity
The Swingers’ House Party
Exercise: The Kinsey Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale
Exercise: Sexual Turn-Ons and Turn-Offs
Chapter 6: Common Issues in CNM Relationships
The Root Cause of My Jealousy
The Green-Eyed Monster
Retroactive Jealousy
Exercise: Jealousy Awareness
The Roller Coaster of Emotions
The Costs of an Open Relationship
Introducing Your Dates to Your Primary Partner
Meeting Your Partner’s New Partners
Setting Boundaries with New Partners
Dealing with Infidelity in a CNM Relationship
Emotional Injury
Navigating Race and Ethnicity
Exercise: Becoming Aware of Racial Bias
Racial Fetishism
How to Recognize Abuse
Breaking Up with a Partner
Chapter 7: Sharing Your CNM Relationship with the World
Coming Out to Friends and Family
Coming Out in the New York Times Magazine
How to Cope with the Stigma of a CNM Relationship
Benefits and Risks of Coming Out to Children
Raising Children in an Open Relationship
Conclusion: The Advantages and Rewards of CNM
Acknowledgments
Bibliography
Endnotes
About the Author
Chronicle Ebooks
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