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Index
JOKES
FOR ALL OCCASIONS
SELECTED AND EDITED BY ONE OF AMERICA'S FOREMOST PUBLIC SPEAKERS
JOKES
FOR ALL OCCASIONS CONTENTS PREFACE INTRODUCTION
STORIES.
JOKES
FOR ALL OCCASIONS ABSENTMINDEDNESS ACQUAINTANCE ACTORS ADVERTISING AFFECTION AGE ALIBI AMNESTY ANATOMY APPEARANCE APPETITE APPRECIATION ARGUMENT ART ATHLETICS AUTHORS BABIES BAIT BALDNESS BAPTISM BAPTISTS BASEBALL BATTLE BEARS BEER BEGGARS BEGINNERS BETROTHAL BIGAMY BIRTH BLESSING BLIND BLINDNESS BLOCKHEAD BONE OF CONTENTION BREAKFAST BREVITY BRIBERY BRUTALITY BURGLARY CANDOR CALMNESS CARDS CARELESSNESS CATERPILLARS CATS CHARITY CHICKEN-STEALING CHRISTIANITY CHRISTMAS CHURCH CLEANLINESS COMMUNITY COMPENSATION COMPLIMENTS CONCEALMENT CONCEIT CONSCIENCE CONSTANCY CONVERSION COOKERY COURTESY COWARDICE CURIOSITY DAMAGES DANGER DEAD CERTAINTY DEAD MEN'S SHOES DEAFNESS DEDICATION DEFINITION DEGREES IN DEGRADATION DELAY DEVIL DIET DIGESTION DIPLOMACY DIRT DISCIPLINE DISCRETION DIVORCE DOCTORS DOCTRINE DOCUMENTARY EVIDENCE DOGS DOMESTIC QUARRELS DOUBT DRAMA DREAMS DRESS DRINK DRUGGED DUTY EASY LIVING ECONOMY EFFICIENCY EGGS EGOTISM ELEPHANT ELOPEMENT ENOUGH EPITAPH EVIDENCE EXCLUSIVENESS EXPECTANCY EXPENSE ACCOUNT EXPERIENCE EXPERTS EXPLICITNESS EXTRAVAGANCE FACTS FASHION FAVORS FIGHTING FINANCE FINANCIERS FISHING FLATTERY FLEAS FLIRTATION FLOOD FLOWERS FOG FOLLIES FOOD FOREHANDEDNESS FORESIGHT FORGETFULNESS FORM FRAUD FRIENDSHIP FRENCH FUSSINESS GENDER GENTLEMAN GEOGRAPHY GHOSTS GOD GOD'S WILL GOLF GRACE GRAMMAR GRASS GREED GRIEF HABIT HAIR HARD TO PLEASE HASTE HEARSAY HEAVEN HELP HELPFULNESS HEN HEREAFTER HEREDITY HIGH PRICES HINDSIGHT HINTING HISTORY HOGS HOLDING HIS OWN HOME BREW HOMESICKNESS HONEYMOON HONORABLE INTENTIONS HOSPITAL HOSPITALITY HUMBUG HUMIDITY HUMILITY HUNGER HUNTING IDENTITY IDIOMS ILLUSTRATION IMPATIENCE IMPUDENCE INDIRECTION INHERITANCE INITIATIVE INJUSTICE INNOCENCE INQUISITIVENESS INSOMNIA INSULT INSURANCE INTERMISSION INVENTORS ITEMS JOKES KINSHIP KISSES KISSING LAUGHTER LAW LAWYERS LEGERDEMAIN LIARS LIES LIGHTNING LISP LITERAL LITERALNESS LOGIC LOQUACITY LOVE LOVE ME, LOVE ME NOT LUCK LUNACY LUXURY LYING MAIDENS MAIDEN SPEECH MANNERS MARKSMANSHIP MARRIAGE MERIT MILITARY DISCIPLINE MISCELLANY MISTAKEN IDENTITY MISMATED MIXED METAPHORS MODESTY MONEY TALKS MONEY VALUE MONOGAMY MONOTONY MORALITY MOSQUITOES MOTTO MUSIC NEATNESS NEIGHBORS NERVES NIGHTMARE NOMENCLATURE OBSTINACY OMEN OPTICAL ILLUSION OPTIMISM ORIENTATION OUTWORN PARADOX PASTORAL PATRIOTISM PEACE PENSION PESSIMISM PHILANTHROPY PHONETICS PHYSIOLOGY PLAIN SPEAKING PLAYING POSSUM PLUMBER POETRY POINT OF VIEW POKER POLITENESS POLITICS POPULATION POSTAL PRAISE PRAYER PREACHER PRECAUTION PRECOCITY PREMATURENESS PREPAREDNESS PRIDE PRECOCIOUSNESS PRISON REFORM PRIVILEGE PROCRASTINATION PROFANITY PROFITEERS PROGRESS PROHIBITION PROLIFIC PRONUNCIATION PROOF PROPERTY PROVIDENCE PRUDENCE PUNISHMENT PUNS PUZZLE QUARRELSOME QUESTIONS RAILROAD RECOGNITION REFORM RELIABILITY REPENTANCE REPETITION RESIGNATION REVOLUTION REWARD OF MERIT REWARD OF VIRTUE RULING PASSION SAFETY FIRST SANITY SARCASM SAVING SCHEDULE SEASICKNESS SECTARIAN SELF-BETRAYAL SERMON SCAPEGOAT SHEEP AND GOATS SHIFTLESSNESS SHIPWRECK SLANDER SLAVERY SMELLS SOCIAL UPLIFT SPANKING SPEED SPELLING SPINSTERHOOD SPITE SPORTSMANSHIP SPRING STAMMERING STYLE SUNDAY SCHOOL SUPERMAN SUPERSTITION SUSPENSE SUSPICION SYMPATHY TACT TALKING MACHINE TAR AND FEATHERS TASTE TEARS TENDER MEMORIES TERMINOLOGY TESTIMONY THREAT THRIFT TIME FLIES TIT FOR TAT TOBACCO TOILETTE DETAILS TONGUE TREACHERY TREASURE TROVE TRIAL TRIPLETS TRUTH-TELLERS TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROR VALUES VANITY VICTORY WAR WEATHER WHALES WHISKERS WIDOW WIDOWHOOD WIFE WILD WOMEN WISDOM WOMAN WOMAN SUFFRAGE
The following pages have been selected and edited by "Life's" famous contributor
+ A. C. HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL A CONSOLING THOUGHT LIFE'S DIFFICULTIES THE SERVANT PROBLEM TROUBLES OF THE NEW-POOR THE NEW APPRECIATION OUR MODERN INFANT A SUBTLE DISTINCTION BLUE BLOOD THE OBSTACLE CHANGING THE SUBJECT A CHANCE LOST DURING THE QUARREL CONDITIONAL JUST IGNORANCE ALL IN ONE BREATH A YOUNG PHILOSOPHER FEMININITY GETTING EVEN A SOOTHING EFFECT IN THAT CASE A QUALIFIED STATEMENT HIS SPHERE A LOVERS' QUARREL A DREADFUL POSSIBILITY GETTING RECKLESS RETROACTIVE APOLOGIZING DENIED THE PRIVILEGE A GOOD PLAN ENFRANCHISEMENT OF WOMAN FAMILIARITY, ETC. REASSURING HOW IT HAPPENED A LINGUIST THE DIFFERENCE THE ROAD TO——, ETC. CLASSIFIED A SOLUTION ENCOURAGING AN ALIAS CHANGING PLACES ECONOMY QUALIFIED CLAIMING ACQUAINTANCE FROM THE HEART AN ARGUMENT THE SECRET WANTS HER RIGHTS GETTING BACK DURING VACATION NOT UNIQUE A NOBLE AIM ONCE TOO OFTEN CAUSE AND EFFECT SYMPATHY SLIGHTED GOING FURTHER GETTING ON LITERALLY AN EXTENSIVE LOVE CAUSE AND EFFECT NO DISSENSION IN KEEPING HE KNEW ARRANGED TO FIT PROBABLY SURE SIGNS SUCH A WASTE TOO ONE-SIDED DISCRETION BETTER UNSAID LETTING HIM KNOW WHY, INDEED ONLY THEIR WAY INADVERTENT MAKING SURE MORE DESPERATE STILL SYMPATHY POPULAR OPINION MORE OPPORTUNITY NOT WHAT SHE MEANT JUSTIFICATION HIS REPUTATION NOT UP-TO-DATE NOT RESTRICTED A GREAT ATHLETE NOTHING NEW TO HIM KNOWLEDGE A HUMBLING SIGHT TROUBLESOME CUSTOMER REMEMBERED NATURAL DEDUCTION TOO GOOD AN ERROR IN JUDGMENT TEACHING THE YOUNG IDEA HE TAKES YOUR TIME THE FLOOR HELD HIS DIFFICULTY THE REAL JOB OFF LIKE A SHOT ANSWERED TO BE SURE A CLOSE CALL READY AND WILLING SARCASM NONE AT ALL ART AND NATURE MISUNDERSTOOD ALL BRAINS THIRTEEN TO ONE A GOOD ACTOR TOO SAD FOR THAT REALISED NEVER MISS ONE A BAD NIGHT TRIPPED THE GLOOMY GUEST NOT IN THE BUSINESS HER VIEWS A GOOD MATCH LIFE'S BIGGEST PROBLEM FISHY RECORD PERFECT AGREEMENT BOTTLED COURAGE IT WORKED FILM FEVER THE DRUGGIST'S TURN WRONG BROTHER GUILTY TOO ENTHUSIASTIC BAD BOTH WAYS HIS LITTLE MISTAKE TOUGH ON THE SENATOR REDEEMING TRAIT OFF NOT A FATHER WEDDING DECLARED OFF PERHAPS! NO DOUBT THE ALLEGED HUMORISTS NO KICK COMING NO NONSENSE ABOUT IT TOO TRUE CONSERVATIVE HE HAD HEARD OF THEM WHAT DID HE MEAN? TRUE TO LIFE WHAT HE PREFERRED BLOOD RELATIONS SCOTCHED! THE BRUTE! THE WHOLE TRUTH THE CONSUMER INFLAMED HOW HE DID IT REALITY PURE CARELESSNESS A LEVEL-HEADED CAR SUSPICIOUS A WONDER! IN A FIX SUCKED! HALF AND HALF REVENGE IS SWEET NO EFFECT A FUTURE FINANCIER A BAD CASE BLACK SUPERSTITION HALF A DUCK DEEP COULDN'T RESIST IT A QUESTION OF LOCALITY HER SOFT ANSWER HE WAS WRONG OPENING FATHER'S EYES NICE NOT NEEDED SHE COULD USE HIM DECLINED WITH THANKS MANAGING THE MANAGERS A GREAT LIGHT SANDY SCORED WITH A RESERVATION TOO SMART OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT NATIVE BORN THE JONAH THE SUBSTITUTE MIGHT HAVE BEEN WORSE GOOD OR BAD TURN? TALKING SENSE A MAGIC HEALER SHE TOOK THEM BUT HE'S ON HIS WAY HER MATCH SCIENTIFIC PROOF A NATURAL PICTURE NOTHING TO SMILE AT DREW BLANK A FRIEND IN NEED WHAT HE PREFERRED READY TO JOIN HELPFUL PA! HE KNEW THEY WILT NOT STRONG ENOUGH WHY HE PICKED PICTISH PLAYED THEM BOTH UP JUSTICE AT LAST IN ORDER TO BE FILLED CAUSTIC NOT WORTH MUCH NOTHING TO FEAR MISLED
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