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Imperial Library
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Index
Table of Contents
Introduction
Origin Story
Growing Up and Liking It
All Girls Must Be Everything
Delaware County Summer Showtime!
That’s Don Fey
Climbing Old Rag Mountain
Young Men’s Christian Association
The Windy City, Full of Meat
My Honeymoon, or A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again Either3
The Secrets of Mommy’s Beauty
Remembrances of Being Very Very Skinny
Remembrances of Being a Little Bit Fat
A Childhood Dream, Realized
Peeing in Jars with Boys
I Don’t Care If You Like It
Amazing, Gorgeous, Not Like That
Dear Internet
30 Rock: An Experiment to Confuse Your Grandparents
Sarah, Oprah, and Captain Hook, or How to Succeed by Sort of Looking Like Someone
There’s a Drunk Midget in My House
A Celebrity’s Guide to Celebrating the Birth of Jesus
Juggle This
The Mother’s Prayer for Its Daughter
What Turning Forty Means to Me
What Should I Do with My Last Five Minutes?
Acknowledgments
Copyright
Footnotes
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