The Highly Sensitive Person in Love · Understanding and Managing Relationships When the World Overwhelms You by Aron, Elaine -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Title Page Dedication Table of Contents Preface Are You Highly Sensitive? Acknowledgments 1 - The Facts About Being Highly Sensitive

She Thought She Was Crazy Special But Deeply Misunderstood Kristen’s Dangerous Year Defining High Sensitivity—Two Facts to Remember The Good News and the Not-So-Good More About Stimulation Is Arousal Really Different From Anxiety and Fear? Your Trait Really Does Make You Special How to Think About Your Differences Heredity and Environment What About You? Learning About Our Culture—What You Don’t Realize WILL Hurt You Psychology’s Bias Royal Advisors and Warrior Kings The Case of Charles A Reason for Great Pride

2 - Digging Deeper

Observing Rob and Rebecca Sleep Troubles One Night, Two Kids Rounding Out Our Picture of Rob You Are Truly a Different Breed The Brain’s Two Systems You Are More Than Genes and Systems How Trust Becomes Mistrust and the Unfamiliar Becomes Dangerous Into the Depths So It’s Real and It’s Okay

3 - General Health and Lifestyle for HSPs

Six Weeks of Age: How It May Have Been Six Weeks and Highly Sensitive Why the Infant/Body Self? You and Your Caretaker Attachment and the Highly Sensitive Body Out Too Much, In Too Much The Problem of Being In Too Much On Being Too Out in the World The Balancing Act Rest Strategies for Overarousal The Containers in Your Life Boundaries The Infant/Body’s Message

4 - Reframing Your Childhood and Adolescence

Marsha, a Wisely Avoidant Little Girl HSPs and Attachment The Confusing Issue—Do You “Love It”? HSPs With Good Childhoods New Fears Out in the World The Problem of Sensitive Little Boys Sensitive Little Girls—Mothers’ Special Companions Being a Different Kind of Parent to Yourself Weighing “Special Needs” Against the Risk of Lasting Discouragement It’s Never Too Late to Overcome Discouragement Your School Years Schoolboys, Schoolgirls Giftedness Reparenting Your “Gifted” Self The Highly Sensitive Adolescent When Sensitive Boys and Girls Become Men and Women Growing Up’s Bottom Line: We Grow Into a Highly Social World

5 - Social Relationships

If You Have Always Considered Yourself Shy Ridding “Shyness” From Your Self-Concept Calling Yourself Shy Is Negative Calling Yourself Shy Is Self-Fulfilling How to Think About Your “Social Discomfort” Five Ways to Handle Overarousal in Social Situations People, Arousal, and Introversion The Extraverted HSP Appreciating the Introverted Style Carl Jung on the Introverted Style It Takes All Kinds Making Friends The Persona and Good Manners Learning More Social Skills Don’t Feel Bad If You Know What to Do But Don’t Always Do It The Case of Paula Basic Social Advice for HSPs

6 - Thriving at Work

“Vocation” Is Not “Vacation” Misspelled The Vocation of All HSPs Vocation, Individuation, and the HSP Jobs and Vocation Vocation and the Liberated HSP Knowing Your Own Vocation What Other HSPs Are Doing Turning Vocation Into a Job That Pays Art as Vocation Service to Others as a Vocation A Lesson From Greg HSPs and Social Responsibility HSPs in the World of Business The Gifted HSP in the Workplace Seeing That Your Trait Is Properly Valued Training Being Physically Comfortable on the Job Advancing in an Organization Bette Meets Machiavelli Regrets—Evitable and Inevitable

7 . - Close Relationships

HSP Intimacy—So Many Ways We Do It HSPs and Falling in Love When It Is Too Intense Human and Divine Love Overwhelming Love and Insecure Attachment The Two Ingredients for Mutual Love How Arousal Can Make Anyone Fall In Love Two Other Reasons HSPs Are More Prone to Love Deepening a Friendship Finding the Right Other HSPs at the Dance Close Relationships Between Two HSPs When the Other Is Not As Highly Sensitive Differences in Optimal Arousal Level Daily Time Alone The Fear of Honest Communication The Need for Time-outs During Conflicts The Power of Positive Metacommunications and Reflective Listening Close Relationships As a Path to Individuation Self-Expansion in Close Relationships HSPs and Sexuality HSPs and Children Your Sensitivity Enriches Your Relationships

8 - Healing the Deeper Wounds

Remembering a Sensitive Friend From the Past HSPs and the Healing of Psychological Wounds How Much Emphasis Should We Place on Our Childhoods? How Dan Survived What About Your Own Past? The Four Approaches HSPs and the Behavioral-Cognitive Approach HSPs and the Interpersonal Approach HSPs and the Physical Approach HSPs and Spiritual Approaches Is Psychotherapy Useful for HSPs Without Specific Adult or Childhood Problems? Especially for HSPs—Jungian Analysis and Jungian-Oriented Psychotherapy Some Final Observations About HSPs and Psychotherapy

9 - Medics, Medications, and HSPs

Ways Your Trait Affects Your Medical Care Rewriting Medical History A Caution About Medical Labels for Your Trait Why Take Prozac and Other Drugs? Medications in a Crisis Instant Arousal-Stopping Medications Medications to Repair the Effects of Long-Term Overarousal What Antidepressants Do Serotonin and Personality Serotonin and HSPs Serotonin and Being a Victim Should You Try to Change Your Trait With an SSRI? Prozac’s Shadow If You Go Ahead (or Have Already)

10 - Soul and Spirit

Four Telltale Signs What We Are Good At—What’s It Good For? Writing the Precepts of Your Religion How We Inspire Others in the Search for Meaning We Lead in the Search for Wholeness The Pursuit of Wholeness Through the Four Functions Dreams, Active Imagination, and Inner Voices Angels and Miracles, Spirit Guides and Synchronicities When Your Spiritual Life Is Like Tidal Waves Our Worth and Partnership

Tips for Health-Care Professionals Working With Highly Sensitive People Tips for Teachers Working With Highly Sensitive Students Tips for Employers of Highly Sensitive People Notes Copyright Page