Restoring Sexual Identity - Hope for Women Who Struggle With Same-Sex Attraction by Paulk, Anne -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Praise Title Page Copyright Page Dedication Acknowledgements Hope for the Journey Chapter 1 - Three Stories

Megan’s Affairs of the Heart Taylor, a Gen-Y Example Christina—A Classic Story The Process of Growing

Chapter 2 - Where Does Same-Sex Attraction Come From?

Are Women “Stuck” in Their Sexuality? Generation Y and Beyond—Lesbian Experimentation Childhood Experimentation Seemingly “Out of Nowhere” Attraction Born Gay? Genetic Theories: Science or Spin? X-Chromosome Study Inner Ear Study Finger Length Study So What Does Science Say After All? Why Are the “Born Gay” Theories So Persuasive?

Chapter 3 - Classic Development of Lesbian Attraction

Some Observations Latasha’s Story Childhood Trauma Gender Role Rejection Marisa’s Story Childhood Play Patterns Parent-Child Relationships Mother-Daughter Relationship Father-Daughter Relationships Personality Temperament What Causes Female Same-Sex Attraction?

Chapter 4 - Healthy Female Gender Development

Evidence of Healthy Female Identity The Order of Creation Mothers Healthy, Not Perfect Parenting Fathers The Importance of Siblings Preschool Peer Groups Elementary School Middle School and Puberty High School Years and Boys! A Final Thought

Chapter 5 - Establishing a Support System

The God Who Restores Motivation to Seek Help Qualities of Wise Advice Where to Look for Help Your Church and Pastor Friends Mentors Christian Support Groups Educational Conferences Educational Resources Professional Christian Counselors and Professional Secular Counselors How to Interview a Counselor Your Motivation Realistic Change Is Change Really Possible? A Word to the Support Person

Chapter 6 - Healing from Abuse

How Common Is Childhood Abuse Among Lesbians? Children with Disabilities What Are the Costs of Abuse? Residual Effects of Physical Abuse Residual Effects of Neglect Sexual Abuse Recovering from Abuse Recognizing the Pain Recounting the Abuse Allowing Yourself to Experience Feelings Placing Responsibility Where It Belongs Confronting the Abuser Forgiving the Offender A Brief Review

Chapter 7 - Overcoming Temptation

Jane’s Story Temptation Versus Sin Qualities of Temptation The Cycle of Temptation and Sin Hope for the Hurting Heart Practical Help When Dealing with Temptation Accountability Look Beyond the Temptation Specific Boundaries Be Proactive in Renewing Your Mind Battling Spiritually in Prayer Dealing with Sexual Fantasy or Addiction Fantasy and Sexual Addiction The Power of Our Imagination Masturbation and Fantasy Lesbian Pornography and Internet Cybersex Lesbian Novels and Chat Rooms Steps to Overcoming Sexual Addiction A Final Word of Encouragement

Chapter 8 - Healthy Female Friendships

Craving for Intimacy Road Blocks to Healthy Intimacy with Women Alyssa’s Story Defensive Detachment The False Intimacy of Emotional Dependency Healthy Female Friendships Different Levels of Friendship Acquaintances Friends Good Friends Intimate Friends What about Best Friends? Learning to be a Friend What Qualities to Look for in Friendships Warning Signs on the Road to Intimacy Accepting Our Friend’s Limitations and Faults Boundaries That Keep a Friendship Healthy Jenna’s Experience

Chapter 9 - Men: Friendships, Singleness, and Marriage

A Safe Distance Some Men Can Be Trusted Men and Women Are Not That Different… Or Are They? Men—Practically a Different Species Singleness or Marriage? What About Friendships with Men? Am I Ready to Date? Dating, Engagement, and Marriage What If I’m Married and Dealing with Same-Sex Attraction? Jane Boyer’s Experience

Chapter 10 - Parenthood and the Ex-Gay Woman

The Importance of Mothering Unhealthy Gender Attitudes Relating to Sons Relating to Daughters Motivation to Deal with the Past Specific Parenting Skills The Value of Touch The Value of Affectionate Words Issues with Nudity Building Up Your Spouse Encouraging the Child’s Relationship with the Same-Sex Parent Extended Family Relationships Passing On a New Heritage Our True Goal

As We Part Appendix A: Frequently Asked Questions Appendix B: Survey Results Suggested Reading and Resources Notes