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Index
Cover
Title Page
Contents
Dedication
Epigraph
Introduction
The Sultan’s Elephant
The Effing Icelandic Volcano
Libraries
The Part of me that is Forever Cosa Nostra
Juicing
Books are Bad for You
The Twentieth Century? Tosh
The Chatfield Pant
‘Keep Smiling’ – Franz Kafka
Rigoletto
Pie Pellicane
Best Gig in Edinburgh
All at Sea
Corrugation Road
Suddenly I’m Homesick
Australian Hairdressers
O Sole Mio
Dining out Solus
Freed from Rage
Blubber
Giselle
Holiday Reading
Pity the Poor Porkers and Damn the Swine that Gave them Fever
Death of Dudley
Cherie Baby and the Bombers
Human Values
Girls Will be Girls
Me Ol’ Bam-Boo
Travis
Loving the Inchoate
Bad Time of the Year
Every Day is Father’s Day
In Defence of Melancholia
Jordan or Iraq
The Great Chain of Being
Auschwitz
Gay in the Judy Garland Sense
Wherefore Art Thou Charlie?
Nates
The Full Monty
Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow
The Greatness of Philip Guston
Darts and the Man
Everyone’s Gone to the Moon
Good for You, Bad for You
Anyone Speak English?
Friendly Banking
O the Opal and the Sapphire of that Wandering Western Sea
Unconditionality and Murder
What Things are for
How to Upset a Millionaire
Dying Like a Gentleman
Death of Alma
Some of his Best Friends
The Grave Question of the Bicycle
Blunkett in Love
Porn for Royals
Like-Mindedness
Mind Your Own Business
The Egotism of the Terrorist
You Cannot Have a Margin Unless You Have a Centre
God and Blokes
Thou Shalt Not Know What One is Talking About
Alida Valli and the Eroticism of the Raincoat
Dott and Sympathy
It don’t Mean a Thing if It Ain’t Got that Swing
If it’s ‘Readable’ don’t Read it
Hodgepodge
Tristan and Isolde
Natural-Born Killers
What IF Joseph K. Did it?
Be Very Afraid
Art For Us
Vengeance is Mine
‘A Gentle Vacancy of Spirit’
What Are they Saying?
Leonard Cohen in Concert
Noe-Beaver
The Last Cigarette
Savage Torpor
Pinteresque
Washington I
Washington II
Elitism for Everybody
Glue Sticks and Human Rights
Dad Skills
Man Booker
A Note on the Author
By the Same Author
Imprint
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