The Runner's Rule Book by Remy, Mark -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

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Index

Cover Title Page ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Dedication Table of Contents INTRODUCTION SECTION 1: The Basics

RULE 1.1: HAVE FUN RULE 1.2: EXPAND YOUR DEFINITION OF FUN RULE 1.3: BE PATIENT RULE 1.4: BLACK TOENAILS ARE BADGES OF HONOR RULE 1.5: WATCH YOUR STEP RULE 1.6A: HAVE MERCY ON THE SLOW RULE 1.6B: EXCEPT WHEN YOU’RE RACING RULE 1.7: YOU’LL RUN FASTER WITHOUT A CHIP ON YOUR SHOULDER* RULE 1.8: KEEP THE JACK DANIEL’S JOKES TO YOURSELF RULE 1.9: PASS GAS, NOT JUDGMENT RULE 1.10: GET TO KNOW PRE RULE 1.11: SIGNING UP FOR A RACE EQUALS INSTANT MOTIVATION RULE 1.12: DO NOT TEMPT FATE RULE 1.13: KEEP UNSOLICITED ADVICE TO YOURSELF* RULE 1.14: RUN AGAINST TRAFFIC RULE 1.15: USE CAUTION WHEN RUNNING THREE OR MORE ABREAST RULE 1.16: THE OPEN. ENDED QUESTION IS YOUR FRIEND RULE 1.17: LOOK BEFORE YOU EXPEL RULE 1.18: LEARN AND LOVE THE FARMER’S BLOW RULE 1.19: IF YOU’RE A RUNNER, YOU MUST LOVE ONCE A RUNNER RULE 1.20: YOU MAY SAFELY SKIP ICE BATHS RULE 1.21: KNOW YOUR PACE RULE 1.22: JOIN A LOCAL RUNNING CLUB RULE 1.23: NEVER LEAVE A MAN BEHIND RULE 1.24: NEVER SLOW THE REST OF THE GROUP DOWN RULE 1.25: LOVE YOUR TAN LINES RULE 1.26: TRAINING PLANS MUST GO ON THE FRIDGE RULE 1.27: ACKNOWLEDGE FELLOW RUNNERS IN PUBLIC, BUT BE COOL ABOUT IT RULE 1.28: ANSWER CRITICS WITH A SMILE RULE 1.29: KNOW WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH RULE 1.30: TEAM UP FOR EARLY. MORNING RUNS RULE 1.31: KEEP WARNINGS SHORT AND SWEET RULE 1.32: BEWARE GHOST TRAINS RULE 1.33: USE YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU STASH YOUR KEYS RULE 1.34: READ THE SPORTS SECTION BACKWARD RULE 1.35: JUST RUN AROUND THE BLOCK RULE 1.36: RUNNING ON THE BEACH IS OVERRATED RULE 1.37: RUNNING AT NIGHT IS UNDERRATED RULE 1.38: RUNNING ALONE IS THE BEST; SO IS RUNNING WITH A GROUP RULE 1.39: RUNNERS DO NOT SHAVE THEIR LEGS RULE 1.40: GOOD DRIVERS MAKE GOOD RUNNERS RULE 1.41: NO TWEETING, TEXTING, OR TYPING RULE 1.42: STRETCH IF YOU WANT TO RULE 1.43: REST IS TRAINING, TOO RULE 1.44: ONE DAY A WEEK, RUN NAKED RULE 1.45: BE CAREFUL WHERE AND WHOM YOU ASK FOR LUBE RULE 1.46: FOR PETE’S SAKE, STAND STILL AT RED LIGHTS RULE 1.47: LET ANGRY MOTORISTS GO RULE 1.48: NONRUNNERS DON’T CARE THAT MUCH ABOUT YOUR RUNNING RULE 1.49: THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SOMEONE SLOWER THAN YOU RULE 1.50: THERE WILL ALSO ALWAYS BE SOMEONE FASTER THAN YOU RULE 1.51: A PR IS A PR FOREVER, BUT… RULE 1.52: RUN LIKE A DOG RULE 1.53: ALWAYS BE GROWING RULE 1.54: THE HARDEST PART ABOUT RUNNING IN THE RAIN IS GETTING WET RULE 1.55: IDENTIFY YOURSELF RULE 1.56: THE BEST JUKEBOX JUST MIGHT BE IN YOUR HEAD RULE 1.57: BEFORE A RACE OR LONG RUN, STRONG COFFEE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND RULE 1.58: A ROUTE IS A ROUTE WHEN IT BECOMES A ROUTE RULE 1.59: KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PAIN AND DISCOMFORT RULE 1.60: CHOOSE YOUR TATTOOS WISELY RULE 1.61: YOU’LL FIND THE ELUSIVE RUNNER’S HIGH WHEN YOU STOP LOOKING SO HARD FOR IT RULE 1.62: HAVING A MILLION THINGS TO DO IS AN EXCUSE FOR RUNNING, NOT AN ARGUMENT AGAINST IT RULE 1.63: BE COOL WHEN YOU MEET AN ELITE RULE 1.64: CONCRETE ISN’T REALLY HARDER THAN ASPHALT RULE 1.65: WARN BEFORE PASSING RULE 1.66: DOGS ARE HARMLESS, EXCEPT WHEN THEY AREN’T RULE 1.67: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE VALUE OF A TRITE SLOGAN RULE 1.68: IMAGINE THE WORST

SECTION 2: Racing, Track Workouts, and Other Forms of Discomfort

RULE 2.1A: DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT THE RACE ENTRY FEE RULE 2.1B: PAY YOUR WAY RULE 2.2: TO TRULY KNOW SOMEONE, RUN A RELAY RACE WITH HIM RULE 2.3: MAKE A PACKING LIST RULE 2.4: APPROACH THE EXPO WITH CAUTION RULE 2.5: THE WHOLE PASTA THING IS WAY OVERBLOWN RULE 2.6: TAKE PRERACE DREAMS IN STRIDE RULE 2.7: WRITE ON YOUR BIB RULE 2.8: BIB NUMBERS GO ON THE FRONT RULE 2.9: LEARN TO LOVE “RACE MORNING BUZZ” RULE 2.10: DOUBLE KNOT BEFORE THE GUN RULE 2.11: REMOVE YOUR HAT WHEN THEY PLAY THE NATIONAL ANTHEM RULE 2.12: WRITE OFF THE FIRST MILE RULE 2.13A: FIGHT THE URGE TO DROP OUT RULE 2.13B: BUT IF YOU DO DROP OUT, MAKE PEACE WITH YOUR DECISION RULE 2.14: ACKNOWLEDGE BANDS ALONG THE COURSE RULE 2 .15: YOU WILL HEAR THE THEMEFROM ROCKY RULE 2 .16: KEEP IT CLEAN RULE 2 .17: HAVE A MANTRA RULE 2 .18: LINE UP WHERE YOU BELONG RULE 2 .19: COVER YOUR CHEST RULE 2 .20: “LOOKIN’ GOOD”. . . AND 10 OTHER LIES RUNNERS TELL EACH OTHER RULE 2 .21: “HOLDING IT” IS ALWAYSA CRAP SHOOT RULE 2 .22: AVOID CRASHING RULE 2 .23: DON’T RATTLE, JINGLE,OR JANGLE RULE 2 .24: STAY ON COURSE RULE 2 .25: NEVER MISS A CHANCETO THANK A VOLUNTEER RULE 2 .26: PEE IF YOU MUST RULE 2 .27: RUN THE MILE YOU’RE IN RULE 2 .28: RELAX RULE 2 .29: PRETEND YOU’RE BRITISH RULE 2 .30: RACES ARE ALL ABOUT ENERGY MANAGEMENT RULE 2 .31: KEEP MOVING FORWARD RULE 2 .32: DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO FINISH AHEAD OF A COSTUMED RUNNER RULE 2 .33: BE CORDIAL WITH YOUR R IVALS RULE 2 .34: PLEASE, NO PUSHUPS ON THE FINISH LINE RULE 2 .35: SCOOT THROUGH THE CHUTE RULE 2 .36: POSTRACE BAGELS MUST BE DRY AND TASTE LIKE ASPIRIN RULE 2 .37: YOUR MEDAL IS WEARABLE FOR A REASON RULE 2 .38: RACE PHOTOS NEVER LOOK GOOD RULE 2 .39: YOU MUST RUN AT LEAST ONE RACE IN YOUR LIFETIME THAT FINISHES ON A TRACK RULE 2 .40: RESPECT THE RULES OF THE TRACK RULE 2 .41: RUN IN THE INNER LANES; RECOVER IN THE OUTER RULE 2 .42: NO BARKING RULE 2 .43: NO SPITTING ON THE TRACK RULE 2 .44: BECOMING A HUMANMETRONOME IS FUN RULE 2 .45: WHEN YOU’VE FINISHED, WIPE THE TRACK DOWN FOR THE NEXT RUNNER

SECTION 3: Shoes, Apparel, and Gear

RULE 3.1: CALL THEM RUNNING SHOES RULE 3.2: BEFORE YOU REMOVE NEWRUNNING SHOES FROM THE BOX,YOU MUST SMELL THEM RULE 3.3: DON’T DRESS LIKE A NINJA RULE 3.4: BE AT PEACEWITH YOUR SHORTS RULE 3.5: SAVE THE RACE SHIRT FOR POSTRACE RULE 3.6: COTTON SOCKS ARE THE DEVIL RULE 3.7: WHEN ELASTIC IS GONE,MAN, IT IS GONE RULE 3.8: KNOW WHEN AND WHERE IT’SOKAY TO WEAR RUNNING APPAREL RULE 3.9: DIVERSIFY YOUR WARDROBE RULE 3.10: A CAP WITH A BILL CAN BE YOUR BEST FRIEND RULE 3.11: YOU CAN ALWAYS TAKE OFF CLOTHING RULE 3.12: JUDGE NOT THE RUNNERIN THE COTTON T-SHIRT RULE 3.13: WHEN IN DOUBT, WEAR GLOVESAND A HAT RULE 3.14: WHEN IN DOUBT, OPT FOR PANTS, NOT TIGHTS

SECTION 4: The Runner’s Rules of Thumb

RESOURCES THE PEE MATRIX: WHEREIT’S OKAY TO GO, AND WHEN … DEPENDING ON URGENCY AND POPULATION DENSITY RUNNING BRANDS: A GUIDE TO PRONUNCIATION HAND SIGNALS THE RUNNER’S GLOSSARY BONUS: WALLET-CARD VERSION OF THE RUNNER’S RULE BOOK!

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