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Index
Cover
Title
Copyright
Dedication
Contents
Preface
1: Television
Miss South Africa
Glued to our sets for Diana’s match and dispatch
Mother Teresa should have been blonde
Noot vir Noot – game show of the Galapagos
That’s no duck, that’s Ally McVeal
Down the hatch with Keith Floyd
The humiliations of charity
Darker side of Christmas lurks in every living room
A night with Monica Lewinsky
Everybody loves Oscar
Starship Election: Space 1999
I am Wat Siam – TV in Thailand
White male TV columnists overthrow the world
Fridges and fantasies
Missouri’s living dead elect one of their own
A Christmas story
The more the marrier
TV in Yemen
Father’s Day
Forget phobias, find a fix for Felicia
The highs and lows of weather
Oh brother, Big Brother
September 11
Not even St Helena offers safe haven
It takes a lot of money to look this cheap
Survivor: Africa
What is Mark’s shuttle worth?
God is in the donations, not the details
An ordinary man who had done extraordinary things
Heinz Meanz Has-Beenz
I can’t bare the Naked Chef
Bogie and Bacall look off-colour
It’s a god’s life
The long reach of television
My kind of serial killer
Here’s to you, Mrs Robinson
On stage with Jerry Springer
Big Brother Iraq
Intimations of mortuaries
Never mind Willy – free Harry
2: Lifestyle
Of mice and morons
Operation Copulation
The foolish will always be with us
In the sharks’ den
Men are from bars
Sometimes a car is only a car
Whose line is it, anyway?
Don’t call me, baby
Sealed with a kiss
Survival of the fittest
No brains please – we’re hippies
Academy of flirting
Nature is not our friend
The sound of one hand clapping
Here’s to the ladies
The penis
Nothing but fear itself
People of the book
Another sniper column
Good fences make good neighbours
Bag to the future
SMS SCKS
Another puzzling New Year
Valentine’s Day
Another day, another dolour
No nudes is good news
Flu is a tense of fly
Home of the free ride
Confessions of a bad son
Somewhere over the rainbow
Sport
Losers in sport
Rugby World Cup 1999: Being a supporter
Woman beats man
Rugby World Cup 1999: Why we dislike the English
South African sport needs new songs
A celebration of cricket
Sporting sex
Tyson 2000
Clichés, champions and Baby Jake
Superstition in sport
The day after Hansie was accused
Olympics 2000: A lesson from chess
Olympics 2000: Perspective down under
Olympics 2000: God needs an off-season too
Paralympics
Keep in character
Persecution complex
Comrade Porky
Kelehe’s moving victory
A day at Loftus
Anna vs Amanda
A premier bore
Players without passion are like Danie-less dreams
The death of Hansie
A new sports hero
Rugby’s day of shame
With supporters like these, who needs opposition?
How short can 100 metres get?
Martina Navratilova
A World Cup protest
World Cup opening ceremony
Cricket World Cup 2003: A toast to the minnows
Cricket World Cup 2003: Saluting the winners
Henry Olonga and courage
Potchefstroom Olympic bid
There is no place like home
Bring me the head of Stuart Dickinson
Andre Agassi – the womble of Wimbledon
A moment of rugby relief
Graeme, Lord Smith
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