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Index
Cover Title Page Contents Dedication Dueling Princes
One Doing the KR with My Posse Two ’Rental Meltdown Three The Fascism of Creative Endeavours Four Bell End Goes Double Bonkers! Five My Knickers Were in a Right Twist Six Be Warned! Life’s NOT All Nicey-Nicey Seven My Tragic Fan Club Eight She Who Would Valiant Be Nine Even Toxic Psycho Toffs Can Talk Sense, Occasionally Ten Royal Collision in Windsor Eleven The Risk of Taking Your Soft Toys Too Seriously Twelve Scaling the Battlements of Eades Thirteen You’ve Got to Know When to Neck It and Know When to Leg It Fourteen Matron’s Remedy for Hiccups Fifteen The Quality of Mercy Is Not Strained – It’s Drained Sixteen The Extreme Trauma of Privilege Seventeen Bell End’s Sacred Sabre Eighteen The Return of Octavia Nineteen It’s Your Love Life or Your Life! Twenty Saint Augustine’s Fencing Army Engages the Enemy Twenty-One Pulling Princes Twenty-Two Sarah’s Car of Shame Twenty-Three The Clapham Commoners Twenty-Four Bob’s Big Bombshell Twenty-Five Bob at Bay Twenty-Six And Just as They Were Bringing in My Crown! Acknowledgements
Dumping Princes
One Sound the Alert! Americans Are Storming the Castle! Two The Collision of Parental Culture Shock Three The Most Spectacular Fib Four Witness to Madness Five H to the 0 to the N to the E to the Y Six Bohemian Rhapsody in the Dorm Seven Operation Dumping Boys Eight In Defence of the Realm Nine Enterprising Initiatives Ten Peace, Love and Buddhist Security Eleven Not Fair Was Made to Fare Twelve Buddhist Security Alert Thirteen The Sword of Damocles Fourteen When Good Fantasies Go Bad Fifteen Pi-Squared Shockarama Sixteen Bonkeratus, Bonkeratum, Bonkerama Seventeen The Mechanics of The Counter Dump Eighteen It Was All Très, Très, Très Befuddling Nineteen Snoozely Woozely Does It Twenty My Style Statement Depended on the Whims of a Psycho Toff Twenty-One Lights-Camera-Action, Your Majesty Twenty-Two When Good Plans Go Bad Twenty-Three The Drowning Dreams of a Teenage Egoist Twenty-Four A Severe Attack of the Mea Culpas Twenty-Five Sic Transit Gloria Mundi Twenty-Six The Insubordination of The Commodore Twenty-Seven Discothèque Pazzo Twenty-Eight Developing My Aptitude in Matters of La Dolce Vita Twenty-Nine The City of Amore and Melodramas! Thirty He Made It Seem Like the Most Sensible Thing in the World ... Thirty-One The End of the Beginning and the Beginning of the End Thirty-Two The Italian Duckling Job Thirty-Three Aren’t the Maddest Ideas Always the Best? Thirty-Four You’re No One Until Someone Wants to Sell Stories about You to the Press Thirty-Five In Each Letter, a Heart Beats Thirty-Six Pulling the Past in Pullers’ Woods Calypso’s fencing terms and Englishwords Acknowledgements
Author’s Note Imprint
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